The SoapBoxers

We’re pushing Martin’s article back a day to allow writers to write about the death of Osama Bin Laden.  I’ll kick things off with some random thoughts.

• This isn’t a victory for Democrats or a victory for Republicans.  It’s a victory for the United States, more specifically the military and intelligence communities.  There is no need to decide which regime deserves “more” credit.  It was a nearly decade long goal of the government, achieved as a result of actions under two commanders-in-chief.
• Celebrating a death seems a bit callous.  However, I have no doubt that the world is a better place without Osama Bin Laden.  Al-Qaeda and organizations like it attempt to drive a wedge between Muslim countries and the West in order to achieve their own goals.  Does the average Muslim hate Christians and believe that they must join a jihad against the West, gaining glory by killing the infidels?  Of course not.  Al-Qaeda and other terrorist groups have been successful in convincing many people that they speak for the entire Islam world.  This is not true, of course – they are simply a vocal minority.  While I don’t have a lot of Muslim friends, the ones I have are not sympathetic to the terrorists.  If we believe that the lunatic fringe speaks for the entire population, then the terrorists have won.  Al-Qaeda is no more representative of the Islam world than the Westboro Baptist Church is representative of the Christian world.
• Before the conspiracy theorists start … stop.  If Bin Laden isn’t really dead, and if this is all faked, we’ll find out in due time.  If Bin Laden is still alive, I’m sure he’s in the process of making a video tape and will be shipping it off to Al Jazeera any moment now.  If the photos of the body don’t look a lot like Bin Laden when they are released … well, getting shot in the side of the head has a tendency to distort facial features somewhat.  I guess the Navy Seals could have gone for a heart shot to keep his face recognizable, but I’m guessing that having him dead was more important that making sure his pretty face was intact.
• It seems that Pakistan may have some questions to answer.  It seems a bit hard to believe that Bin Laden could have been hiding in a compound that housed retired members of the military without anyone thinking “Hey, ‘John Smith’ looks a lot like that Bin Laden guy, doesn’t he?”.  For their sake, I hope that the Pakistani government does indeed have a good excuse.  Otherwise, the US-Pakistan relationship might he headed for rocky ground.  Too early to jump to conclusions, though.  It’s possible that there IS a good excuse.

“How did it go?”

“Better than I expected. I don’t think we’ll ever be best friends, but we might send each other Christmas cards.”

“That’s a step in the right direction,” replied the prince as he unbuttoned his shirt. “I’m glad to see you rebuilding your relationship with your sister. It must have been difficult for her to reach out to you.”

“Enough about me. How was your day?”

“Oh, more of the same old drudgery. Opening parliament, three ribbon cuttings, and tea with the prime minister. Thank God it’s Friday. Time to take a break from work.”

The princess laughed at how he downplayed his important role in society as the much beloved heir to the throne.

“I believe there are still some affairs of the state that you need to tend to.”

“Yes?” he asked, a confused look upon his face.

“We have not yet produced an heir.”

The prince smiled and turned off the bedside lamp.

Their lovemaking that night was very different than it had been in the past. His wife was much less inhibited, as if the reunion with her sister had relieved much of her internal stress.

Soon, they received news that the sister of the princess was moving to America to begin a new life. Although the sisters rarely saw each other in person, they shared frequent letters and phone conversations. The improvement in their relationship had a profound influence on the princess. She appeared happy and stress free. In the bedroom, she became more adventurous with each passing night.

Later that year, the country rejoiced as the princess gave birth to a son. The House of Stewart, reduced to just a single branch, would exist for at least another generation. By the time the prince ascended to the throne, there were six children . The House of Stewart had been saved from the brink of extinction, and the monarchy would continue to exist for an untold number of years. The country breathed a collective sigh of relief.

In a dungeon three hundred miles away, the true princess cried herself to sleep each night. Her husband had been stolen from her by those who plotted to overthrow the monarchy. They chose not a bullet nor a sword as their weapon; but rather, a woman. Her own sister. Her twin. A weapon that could easily breach the security around the royal family. A weapon that would cause the monarchy to die a slow and painful death.

When the princess was past her child bearing years, the plot would be revealed. Her sister – now being recognized as the queen – would reveal that she was a fraud. She would reveal that she had tricked her husband and her country – and that the true queen was her sister.

The six children that the king had fathered were, of course, illegitimate and could not ascend to the throne.

The monarchy seemed destined to die a natural death. The king would not be able to produce a legitimate heir with the true queen, since she was no longer able to bear children.

There were, of course, two options that remained . A divorce or the death of the queen would allow the king to remarry and produce a legitimate heir to the throne. But his love for his queen would not allow him to divorce her or expedite her death … or would it?

Tomorrow is the big day – the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.  If you’re wondering what to buy the couple, candlesticks make a nice gift.  (Thanks, Larry.)

I’m a bit neutral on the topic of the wedding.  I certainly will not be getting up at 4 AM to watch, but I’m sure I’ll read a couple of news stories about the event.

I’m really not sure why Americans are so fascinated with the British royal family.  It’s not as if they have real power – and there are actually monarchs who DO have ruling power in other countries.  Is it because we were once under the control of the British?  But wouldn’t this be a reason to dislike them?  For many of us, it’s not even that we trace out heritage back to England.  Personally, I am 100% German (no, I don’t follow German news very closely).

I guess it’s because we speak the same language – although American English and British English aren’t exactly the same language – as anyone who ever needed to take the lift to visit the loo would know.

Some random tidbits about the couple:

William actually has royal blood on both sides.  Princess Diana was descended from two illegitimate sons of Henry II.  How is that possible, you ask?  A male descendant of the one son married a female descendant of the other.  It should be noted that this bloodline is not recognized in the line of succession, so his only claim to the throne is through Charles.  Still, interesting.

Kate’s parents worked in the airline industries (she as a flight attendant, he as a dispatcher) before starting a party favor company that eventually made them millions.  How’s that for the epitome of the American dream?  British dream.  Whatever.

When Kate and William broke up several years ago, one of the contributing factors was reportedly Kate thinking that William wasn’t paying enough attention to her.  Yes, she nearly cost herself the chance to become queen – putting her feelings ahead of her desire for power.  Well, bully for her, as the Brits would say.

I can’t help feeling a bit sad that William’s mother won’t be alive to see him married.  I can still remember watching the sad news of her death.  Tragic not only because of the avoidable nature of the accident, but also because someone with such a charitable heart had her life cut short.

I wonder if we are looking at the last king and queen of England.  There is an increasing sentiment to get rid of the monarchy.  After all, the monarch has very little actual power any more.  Sure, the Brits love pomp and ceremony … but how will they feel by the end of William’s reign (assuming that he does ascend to the throne)?  Assuming that he lives to 80, that could be a half century away – plenty of time for dramatic changes.  And I think that Will and Kate may be more open to these changes than some monarchs from the past.

Today I’m re-running one of my favorite vintage stories.  This story of triumph over adversity originally ran on July 17, 2009.  You can find this, and dozens of other older stories, in the Kindle version of Mountains, Meadows, and Chasms.  Now, on with the story …

 

Heidi rolled onto her stomach.  The weekend was off to a great start.  It was great to get away for a weekend with the girls – no guys allowed.  Lindsey’s uncle loaned them the use of the sprawling old beach house for the weekend.  Heidi, Lindsey, and Katie were working diligently on their tans.  After a rough few months, it was precisely what the doctor ordered for Heidi.

After Heidi’s buns were lightly toasted, she felt the ocean call to her.  She felt to urge to go for a swim.

“Hey,” she called out to the girls.  “Is anyone up for a swim?”

“Not me,” replied Katie.

“Mmrumph zstek,” said Lindsey, before resuming her snoring.

“OK, you’re missing out,” proclaimed Heidi.

It took Heidi a few minutes to locate her swim suit.  She slipped into the suit and raced toward the water.  Heidi waded through the water until it was a bit above her waist, and then she started to swim out toward the distant shore of the wide blue ocean.  Her lithe body sliced through the waves.  The swim in the salt water was refreshing.  Heidi enjoyed being in the midst of the ocean’s biosphere, with a myriad of fish species swimming around her.

When Heidi finally decided to turn back toward shore, she realized that she had swum quite far out into the ocean.  It was going to take a lot of time to get back to the shore, and she was more tired than she had realized.

Fifteen minutes after she began to swim back, Heidi felt herself go completely numb.  Ahead of her, she saw the dorsal fin of a small hammerhead shark.  She began to swim north to circle around the shark, but the shark seemed to sense her and it moved in the same direction.  She was blocked from the shore by the killer.

Heidi was unsure what to do.  She tried to move to the south, but once again the shark followed.  The shark was clearly stalking her.  Heidi had become the prey.  The shark would be more than happy to trail her back and forth and she tried to evade it.  It knew that eventually, Heidi would become tired.  At this point, she would become shark food.

Heidi was a fighter, and she was not about to give in without a fight.  She decided to become the aggressor.  She swam toward the shark.  When she was next to the shark, she attacked it with a barrage of punches and kicks, and then swam quickly away from the shark and toward the shoreline.  The shark was momentarily stunned, but quickly regained its strength and began to pursue Heidi once again.

Heidi and the shark continued this deadly game of cat and mouse.  Each time, Heidi was able to stun the shark for a short while and swim a short distance closer to shore.  The impact of her blows was lessening, however.  The shoreline was still very distant, and her energy was waning.  She simply didn’t have the strength to hold her killer at bay.

Then, in the distance, she saw it.  Something that she had encountered earlier.  If she could make it that far, she might be able to break free from the shark.

When the shark closed in on her, Heidi used nearly every ounce of strength within her to unleash a tremendous attack upon the animal.  She quickly raced away, swimming toward her target as fast as her damaged body would carry her.  As she closed in on the school of fish, she could sense the hammerhead closing in on her, mere feet away.  She felt the welcome disturbances in the water, as the small fish swam around her.

The hammerhead had a choice to make.  He could continue to track Heidi, or he could stop here and have a feeding frenzy within the large school of fish.  Heidi knew that this was not a forgone conclusion.  The fish were an easier target, because they would not fight back as violently as she did.  On the other hand, she knew the shark could sense the lessening of her strength, and her sheer human size made her a much larger meal.

As the shark took a second to ponder the situation, Heidi poured every last bit of strength into her swimming and put a bit more distance between her and the shark.  When her energy left her, she took a break from swimming and focused on simply staying afloat.  She looked over her shoulder and saw that the shark was still violently attacking the defenseless fish within the school.  Heidi felt guilty for leading the shark into the school and causing the slaughter of the fish.  However, she realized that the death of those fish meant that she would live to see another day.

The sun was dying in the west when Heidi finally struggled to shore.  She allowed her body to be dumped upon the beach by the tide.  She lay on the beach for several minutes before willing herself to her feet and struggling up toward the beach house.

I consider SVB over at The Digerati Life to be a friend. I’ve never actually met her in person, but we have a lot of interests in common (perhaps most notably a fascination with crime and forensics). We chat back and forth over email, and when she recommended a particular book, I gave it serious consideration, despite having a large backlog of unread books in my library.

The book was The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I was aware of the book. It was an international best-seller, and the author, Stieg Larsson, died before the book (and the subsequent sequels) were printed. The circumstances surrounding Larsson’s estate (more about that in a guest article I wrote for SVB) added some intrigue for me. I nabbed a copy at Target for $5.99. Hey, I’ll give it a shot.

Now that I’m finished, I’m happy to report that it was one of the better books I have read in a while. The book has something for everyone – mystery, romance, murder, fraud, family squabbles – and much more. Even better, everyone seemed to use a Mac!

What I liked:

Culture – The book was written by a Swedish author, so I learned some things about Sweden by reading the book. I was barely into the book before I hopped onto the internet to check the value of the Swedish krona in US dollars. I pegged the value at about 16 cents and used this for currency translations. Then I got to the end of the book, where the topic comes upm in the text – the exchange rate being used is just under 10 kronor to the dollar.  Hmm.  I also learned that there is a statute of limitations for murder in Sweden. Avoid getting caught for long enough, and you’re home free. (What??!?!?)

Characters – The girl mentioned in the title is Lisbeth Salander, a young woman who works as a private investigator – putting her hacking skills to good use, She works an irregular schedule and lives an irregular life. She is a victim – or is she?

I’d argue that Lisbeth isn’t even the lead character in the book. Much of the book centers around Mikael Blomkvist, a financial reporter finds himself convicted of libel at the beginning of the book. The magazine that he co-owns is on the brink of ruin – can Blomkvist and his partners avoid financial doom?

That’s the tip of the iceberg. The book contains a rich cast of characters – hackers, lawyers, murders amongst them.

The story – In general, I need to be told an interesting story in order to enjoy a book. This book has a great story. Actually, a few great stories. There’s the story of Lisbeth’s own life, the story of Mikael’s personal and professional life, and thirty five years in the lives of the Vanger family, who are central figures in the plot. Although the threads do cross at times, they are actually separate and distinct stories that could hold up as their own individual novellas.

Verdict – Big thumbs up! I’m going to begin reading the second book in the series (The Girl Who Played With Fire) immediately.

 
 

Mike Leake arrived at the 2010 Cincinnati Reds Spring Training camp in the shadow of another young pitcher. The other pitcher was a Cuban refugee named Aroldis Champman, who could light up the radar gun at 103 miles per hour. Mike Leake was merely the 2009 first round draft pick of the Reds. All he had done in college was rack up 40 wins against 6 losses during his career at Arizona State. He was a third team all-american as a freshman, second team as a sophomore, and first teamer in his junior year before being drafted by the Reds (more about draft eligibility here.)

Chapman was sent to the minors before the season began, but Leake – who, like many top picks, did not play in the minors after the draft – jumped straight to the big leagues. This was an unusual move, since this starts the clock ticking on a player’s arbitration and free agency (more about that here), but Leake had won a job in the Reds rotation.

Leake started the year strong before shoulder fatigue caught up with him at the end of the year (not uncommon in young pitchers). Leake finished the year with an 8-4 record. His spot on the 2011 roster was not a certainty, but injuries to other pitchers opened the door, and once again Leake was in the rotation to start the season. On Saturday, he allowed two runs in six innings against the Pirates and running his season record to 2-0.

Mike Leake’s star was rising.

On Monday, Mike Leake was arrested. He is accused of shoplifting six shirts from Macy’s. Total cost of the six American Rag t-shirts? $59.88 (you can get shirts for less than $10 at Macy’s?). While Leake is in the pre-arbitration phase of his major league service , he’s still making a healthy $425,00 this year (are athletes overpaid?) – and I would hope he still had a few bucks left from the $2.3 million signing bonus he got in 2009.

I really struggle with these types of stories. When Leake become arbitration eligible after the 2012 season, the Reds could raise this as an issue during the hearing. It could very well cost Leake hundreds of thousands of dollars. Already, Leake’s reputation has suffered more than $60 in damage.

Yet, this is not the first incident of a celebrity shoplifting. Why do they do it? I doubt it’s the money. Perhaps some are simply kleptomaniacs, but this mental illness is not that common in the general population, so I doubt that this is often the case with celebrities. Is is for the rush – the extra kick of adrenaline from getting away with the crime? Seriously? Staring down Albert Pujols with the game on the line isn’t enough adrenaline?

Anyone else have any explanations?

This article mentions: American Rag

I’ve long been a champion of traditional paper and ink books.  Among the benefits I always mention is the availability of cheap used book and the low risk of loss.  Ebooks (specifically Kindle) are priced competitively with other new editions of books, but more expensive than a dog-eared copy from a used bookstore (not to mention the feeling of poking around for treasures in a book store).

However, I feel myself tugged a bit in the direction of the Kindle these days.  It all really started when I published my first book of short stories for the Kindle.  Without much work, I could make Mountains, Meadows, and Chasms available to the world – at a price point ($3.49) that made it affordable for nearly anyone, while also netting me a fair commission.  Then there’s the availability of free public domain works.  Getting the classic for free would be a good deal.  Kindle users can also lend books to each other for 14 days – and interesting way to read for free.

I’m not quite convinced yet, but I’m on the fence.  We’ll see what the future holds.  Now, let’s take a look at the various version of the Kindle now available (yes, yes, there will be affiliate links at the end of the article).

Kindle DX – The most expensive Kindle has a 9.7″ screen within WiFi and 3G that works globally.  The downside is the price tag.  $379.  Are you freaking kidding me?  If I’m going to spend that sort of money for an e-reader, I’d pony up a few extra dollars for a 1st generation iPad.  Even the lowest end iPad would give you 16 GB of memory compared to the Kindle’s 4 GB, and the screen is also 9.7″.  Install the free Kindle reader application, and you can use it as a Kindle – but also have the added functionality of a full-function tablet (although you do take a hit in battery life).  So I’ll cross the DX off my list … and also ignore the possibility of an iPad.

Kindle 3G + Wi-Fi – The price tag drops to $189 and the screen size is cut down to 6″ (we’re talking diagonal, so this is half the size of the 9.7″).  Here we come across a $50 question – do I NEED 3G?  Probably not.  It’s extremely rare that I’m outside the range of a WiFi network for an extended period of time – and I could plan in advanced to have a few spare books on the kindle.  Cross this one off the list.

Kindle Wi-Fi –  At $139, this is the first model that’s within the realm of possibility.  Pricey, but worth it?  I’m going to say “no” for now, but revisit the situation if The Soap Boxers starts generating decent revenue.  I’d also like to see the price drop below $100 – which might happen at some point in the year.  I’ll keep my eye on this one.

Kindle Wi-Fi with Special Offers –  This is the newest Kindle offering.  It’s basically identical to the $139 Kindle Wi-Fi, but is priced at $114.  The catch?  It will feature advertising and special offers on the bottom of the main screen on on the screen saver (but NOT embedded within the text of a book).  I see this as an interesting option.  For customers who don’t want the ads, they can pay $139 for the standard Kindle Wi-Fi.  For those who don’t mind the ads – or even those who WANT to get the special offers Amazon will send them, it’s a good deal.  Personally, I probably wouldn’t go for this model.  You save $25, but over life of the product, this breaks down to a few pennies per day.  That’s a slam dunk deal for Amazon – an amazingly cheap captive audience.

Make the ad-supported Kindle FREE, and you might get my attention.  This might sound like a ridiculous idea, but Amazon would greatly expand the customer base for the ads – and also the customer base for the bread-and-butter product, the eBooks.  Free Kindles in 2012?  Don’t be surprised.

Kindle owners – any thoughts to share with us?

Jenna’s cheerleader skirt fluttered in the breeze and she yanked the gas station receipt from the pump.  $50 for a tank of gas?  Ouch.  She was about to jump back in the car when she realized that she was running low on funds.  She exchanged quick greetings with the cashier as she made a beeline for the ATM.  A moment later, she had refilled her wallet with pictures of dead presidents.

Jenna remembered that her mom had asked her to pick up a few items at the grocery store on the way home from the wrestling meet.  She didn’t want to backtrack to the store – she’d just pick them up here.  She experienced a bit of sticker shock when she grabbed the first item – this was far more expensive than the grocery store.  Jenna decided to bite the bullet – she wasn’t going to waste the time going back to the grocery store just to save a few bucks.

The bell on the door jingled and man in his mid thirties entered the store. He grabbed a Pepsi and a package of Ding Dongs and headed to the counter.

“Any gas with that?” asked Mary, the cashier.

“No,” came the gruff response.  “Just give me all the money in the register.”  The man shoved a gun into Mary’s face.

Mary hesitated for a moment, and the man fired a shot into the security camera.  As pieces of the camera fell to the floor, Mary opened the register and started pulling bills out of the drawer.  She shoved them across the counter to the robber.

“That’s not enough,” he complained.  “What’s in the safe?”

“It’s on a time lock,” Mary explained.  “I can’t open it.”

“Maybe this will help you figure out a way to get it open,” he said, firing several shots in Mary’s direction as she ducked for cover.

Out of the corner of his eye, the robber noticed the petite blond cheerleader at the back of the store.  As he turned the gun toward her, he noticed a projectile flying toward him.  The object had knocked the gun out of his hand before he could react.  Before he could move toward the gun, a second object hit him square in the forehead.  The can of frozen orange juice exploded upon impact.

Jenna charged down the aisle and tackle the robber will all the force her ninety five pound body could muster.  As she grappled with the perp, the cashier retrieved the pistol and held the robber at gunpoint until the police arrived.

You’ve all seen ads in The Soap Boxers in the past.  Some of you might ask why we run ads.  Well, much like television, radio, and print media, we do have costs associated with the site.  The costs are relatively low, but like any business, Hyrax Publications strives to turn a profit.  Kosmo is the guy behind Hyrax Publications, and I do cultivate other revenue streams.  The online store, consulting business, and sales of my Kindle books all produce revenue streams.  Unfortunately, those streams are slow and meandering at this point, rather than a gushing torrent.

It’s not just Kosmo, of course.  Our other writers are independent contractors whose contract promises them a share of profits.  A key point to consider is  that profits must materialize, or they don’t get paid.  At this point, profits have not yet materialized, so they haven’t been paid.  Yep, the writers have been churning out articles every month (or in the case of Johnny and Martin, every week) without receiving a penny.  I think we should be at a point where profit sharing will kick in for 2012, but that’s not certain.

So we run ads in an attempt to turn this labor of love into something that pays at least a few pennies per hour.  How much combined effort do the writers spend on The Soap Boxers every year?  Between writing, coding, guest articles on other sites, and administrative tasks, my effort is probably around 250 hours – and I’d guess the entire group of writers puts in 500 hours or more.

Until this point, Google’s Adsense has been our primary source of ad revenue.  It’s an interesting program, but results have been a bit underwhelming.  There are several reasons for this.  Most advertisers prefer sites that focus on a niche.  By design, we are nicheless.  Second, we actively block advertisers if we feel they are not a good fit for the site.  This reduces competition for ad slots, and thus drives down the price we get – but I sleep easier at night knowing that these ads don’t appear on the site.  (Note: the nature of Adsense forces us to be reactive, rather than proactive, in blocking ads.  If you see an ad that you feel is inappropriate, send an email to kosmo@observingcasually.com.)

Finally, in the past we have attempted to minimize the number of ads we show to our regular visitors (you!).  When we don’t show ads, we definitely won’t make any money from you!

Moving forward, we are making sweeping changes to our advertising.  People who stumble across our articles through search engines will still see Adsense ads from any number of different advertisers.  The rest of you will not.  You will see only ads from independent sites who directly contract with us (such as It’s All Good) – and Amazon.com.

Our support of Amazon is not a shallow attempt to separate you from you hard earned money.  I have discussed Amazon with many of the writers, and the consensus seems to be that Amazon is a great place to buy stuff.  Personally, I’ve been buying from Amazon since it was a relatively small site that sold nothing but books.  My long history with Amazon makes me hope that may of you will see these ads as a service, rather than an annoyance.

You’re going to see a few different types of ads.  The most noticeable will be at the top left of every articles.  There are going to be a couple of different versions of this ads.  Newer articles will feature products of a topical nature (today, you’ll see items related to the Civil War, as 150 years have now passed since the conflict between the North and South).  At times, this will reflect Kosmo’s personal interests (thus the recent search for Stieg Larsson), but at other times will focus on topics that seem to be of interest to the public, regardless of whether I personally have an interest.  Older articles will show items related to a new book, music, or movie release  At this moment, the featured items are version of the book Water For Elephants – the basis for the upcoming Reese Witherspoon film.

It’s important to note that you could buy ANYTHING through Amazon, you don’t need to stick to the displayed items.  There’s a handy search bar to the left of the “Go” button.  Plug in the name of that book you’ve been looking to buy and hit “Go”.  The widget will then populate with the items you are looking for, without taking you away from The Soap Boxers.

You will also see an ad in the sidebar that will show computer-related merchandise.  Blog readers are, on average, more computer-savvy than the average citizen, so I’m hoping that many of these products will be relevant to you.

Finally, readers of articles that get a decent amount of search engine traffic will see customized Amazon ads displaying related items.  Are Athletes Overpaid features some of my favorite sports-related books and movies.

This campaign is still in the early stages, so bear with us a bit.  At times, you may very well see some strange things as we do a bit of experimentation.

It’s important to note that although we do receive a small commission on the Amazon sales, this does not affect the price you pay.  If you buy through Amazon, we humbly ask you to consider letting us help you find those items.

 

 

Note: This story is a sequel to Bull, one of my favorite stories.

 

Ty Morris spat into the dust and cursed his luck.  He hand gently massaged his left shoulder.  After all this time, he could still feel pain – dull most of the time, with occasional flare-ups.  Ty was ready to get back to work and was hoping for an easy bull in his first go round.  He didn’t need to get the highest score and notch a win – he just wanted to hang on for eight seconds and build up some confidence.

Ty dug a divot into the dirt with the heel of his boot and pushed his hat back.  By plain old dumb luck, he had drawn Crash Course.  Crash was a legend – already a three time bucking bull of the year, and the bull seemed to just be entering his prime.  He was much by feared many who dared hop upon his back.  Ty Morris wasn’t scared of the beast, but he certainly had a health respect for Crash.  When Ty was at his best, a matchup with Crash Course was a fair fight.  With Ty still feeling the effects of his injury, he’d need a miracle to avoid getting bucked off and stomped to death by the beast.

Ty looked up to the clouds.  “Quick and painless, God.  That’s all I’m asking.”

Ty could feel the heart of a warrior beating within the bull as he attempted to get comfortable atop the beast.  When the chute gate opened, the bull rocketed into the arena to face his fans.  In a moment, he noticed something out of place.  The rider had barely managed to hang on.  He had experience with this guy, and he was good.  Something was wrong.

Crash gave a small buck, and felt Ty nearly slide off.  This wasn’t right – he couldn’t let a bona fide champion be embarrassed by getting bucked off so easily.  Crash bucked much more violently the second time, but subtly shifted his body to make it easier for the rider to stay in place.

Ty Morris was confused.  It was almost as if the bull was trying to work with him – bucking high and then moving in a way that decreased the likelihood of Ty being bucked off.  That wasn’t possible.  Crash was a champion, but was still just a dumb bovine like all the others … right?  He chased the thought out of his mind and tried to avoid thinking for the duration of the ride.

Just past the eight second mark, Crash Course bucked Ty high into the air.  A moment after he landed, Crash turned and charged straight for him – missing him by inches.  The crowd went wild.  Ty could swear he saw a twinkle in the bull’s eye.  He shook his head and resolved to lay off the caffeine for a while.

Crash Course played around with the clowns for a bit, pretending to be violently fighting them off.  When he finally left the ring, he bellowed a farewell to Ty Morris.  Next time, you’re mine, cowboy.