The SoapBoxers

Note: In case you missed it, I slipped in a second post – a WBC update – late in the day yesterday. When you’re finished reading today’s post, go ahead and read that one as well.

I am a firm believer in the importance of a fantasy team’s name. If you take the easy way out and name your team “Bob’s Team”, what sort of a message does this send to your team? The players can tell that the lack of creativity stems from pure, unadulterated laziness. Suddenly, the players think that it’s OK for them to be lazy. Your hitters stop running out ground balls and your pitchers lose focus on their follow through. Suddenly, your fantasy team is in the crapper – all because you couldn’t take the time to think of a name.

On the flip side, a brilliant team name can do wonders for the psyche of a team. Out of the blue, that good-field, no-hit shortstop is hitting .330 with 20 homers on July 1.

Another important rule is that you cannot reuse a name from one year to the next (or for teams in multiple fantasy leagues). Each team has its own unique identity, and giving each team a unique name fosters the team concept. There is an exception for keeper leagues. If more than 70% of the players are retained from one year to the next, you may use the name you used the previous year.

Each year, I spend a considerable amount of time thinking of the name. “Satan’s Navy” and “Hobbes Eats Calvin” have been names of former teams. I have a couple dozen names that I have retained for possible future use.

I am proud to announce that I have narrowed the choices for my 2009 fantasy team to the final 2.5 names.

1A) Tulo’s Whiskey. This is derived from the name of my favorite player, Rockies shortstop Troy Tulowitzki.

1B) Tulo’s Wet Skis. Same general idea as 1A.

2) Jesus Cust, Superstar! The name of the famous rock opera has been altered to allow A’s hitter Jack Cust to step into a starring role. I’m a big fan of Cust’s combination of walks and homers.

Do you have an opinion? If so, tell me which name you prefer by leaving a comment (note: you can comment as “anonymous” – this allows you to comment without creating an account). I’ll still be in charge of the final decision (it is still my team), but I’ll take your opinions under advisement.

Tomorrow’s post will describe the evolution of my fanhood.

I was going to wait until midweek to do this update, but I’m too excited about the WBC to wait.

Game 2:
Korea clobbered Taipei 9-0. The starting pitcher for Taipei was knocked out after 1/3 of an inning. He allowed two hits (including a grand slam by Jin Young Lee), walked three batters, and hit a man. The bullpen actually did a decent job, but the horse was already out of the barn at that point.

Game 3 (loser eliminated)
The losers of games 1 and 2, China and Taipei, met in this game. China starting pitcher Lu Jiangang pitched into the sixth inning and allowed just one run. Ray Chang was 3-4 with a homer, a double, two RBI, and a run scored. China won the game 4-1. Taipei is eliminated from the tournament. China will face the winner of game 4 to determine who survives.

Game 4 (winner automatically advances)
In the winner’s bracket, Japan trounced Korea 14-2, as the mercy rule (ahead 10+ runs after 7 innings or 15+ runs after 5 innings) comes into play. Korea’s starting pitcher Kwang Hynug Kim was touched up for eight runs in 1 1/3 innings of work. Jpana starting pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka was pretty good through four innings, allowing two runs on four hits and two walks. The two runs came in the first inning. Daisuke settled down after that point. The Japanese bullpen was dominant, allowing no hits and one walk over the final three innings. The margin of victory over a quality opponent is definitely a feather in the hat of Team Japan.

Korea will face China in game 5. The loser will be eliminated. The winner will face Japan in game 6 to determine who is the pool winner for pool A. This doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Clearly, the winner of the winner’s bracket would be the pool winner.

No games have been played.

Game 1 will feature a monstrous mismatch, with Cuba facing South Africa. I’m predicting a mercy rule outcome – perhaps even the 5th inning mercy rule (one team ahead by 15 runs)

Game 2 will be Mexico against Australia. This game is in Mexico City. The house should be rockin’, and Mexico should win.

Game 1:
This was a border war between the US and Canada. The game lived up to its billing, with the US winning 6-5. There were five homeruns in the game – two by Canada and three by the US. Adam Dunn had the homer that put the US ahead 6-3. Kevin Youkilis and Brian McCann also homered for the US, while Joey Votto and Russell Martin hit dingers for Team Canada.

Game 2:
Italy starting pitcher Mark DiFelice did not allow any runs for the first four innings against favored Venezuela. In the fifth inning, the wheels came off, with relievers Jason Grilli and Lenny DiNardo allowing four runs. Venezuela went on to win 7-0. Venezuela starter Carlos Silva scattered six hits in four innings, allowing no runs. Felix Hernandex went four innings and allow just one hit and no runs.

Next:
The US will face Venezuela in the winner’s bracket (game 4), with the winner clinching a spot in the next round. This should be a good game.

Canada be favored against Italy in the loser’s bracket (game 3), with the loser being eliminated.

Game 1:
The shock of the tournament so far was Netherland’s 3-2 defeat of the Dominican Republic. The Dutch were not considered to be serious contenders, whereas the Dominicans were one of the popular picks to win the WBC. The Netherlands loaded the bases in the first with a single, a bunt single, and a walk. A run sored on a wild pitch by Edinson Volquez, and two more scored on a Hanley Ramirez error. Sidney Ponson and the bullpen held on for a 3-2 win. Dominican Willy Taveras was gunned down trying to steal third base to end the game. The talent differential between these two teams is rather large; this definitely qualifies as a major upset. Note: the Netherlands includes players from the islands of the Netherlands Antilles, such as Curacao.

Game 2:
Puerto Rico’s Ivan Rodriguez homered twice, and teammate Carlos Delgado hit another as Puerto Rico beat Panama 7-0. Javier Vasquez and the PR bullpen held Panama to five hits.

Next:
Netherlands will face Puerto Rico in the winner’s bracket (game 4) with the winner clinching a spot in the next round. Puerto Rico will be a big favorite in that game.

Domincan Republic will face Panama in the loser’s bracket (game 3) with the loser being eliminated from the tournament. Dominican Republic will be a big favorite in that game.

Note: I am going to continue to provide WBC updates as I have the time. I will also be doing some other posts, so you may see several days that have more than one post.

There are so many ways to waste time on the internet, but I’ll focus on just a few.

Snopes
OK, this can actually be pretty useful. Snopes is a leader in the industry of myth debunking. Snopes currently lists 43 different myth topics, ranging from Disney to politics. There’s even a category devoted to debunking dozens of myths about the 911 attacks, including:

– Osama Bin Laden owns Snapple – false

– Bert (from Sesame Street) appears on posters carried by Bin Laden Supporters – true!

It can be interesting simply to browse the Snopes archives. Many of the myths are mind boggling, and they make for very entertaining reads. Snopes can also come in handy when your friend forwards you the latest email about an outrage that is occurring in congress. You can search on key words and get the information you need to tell your friend that someone is yanking his chain.

The articles on Snopes are well researched, and the sources of their information are clearly noted at the end of the articles.

Says-it
Says-it allows you to create add your own text to signs – church signs, bank signs, danger signs, and more. Here is an image I created.

On a forum that I subscribe to, one member uses a custom church sign as his signature – with custom messages that poke (good natured) fun at other members.

Says-it was also used to design the logo for this blog.

GraphJam
GraphJam allows you to quickly create custom charts. Pie charts are my favorite, mostly because I like pie.

You can easily waste a lot of time looking at all the cool graphs that other people have designed. Here’s a quick graph that I came up with.

Note that GraphJam is a part of the ICanHasCheezburger family of sites (probably best known for LolCats) – so if you haven’t wasted enough time on GraphJam, you can always jump over to some of its sister sites.

World baseball classic
The WBC got underway on Thursday, as Japan beat China 4-0. Japan starting pitcher Yu Darvish set the pace early, allowing no runs and walking just one batter. The five relievers each allowed exactly one hit and did not walk anyone. Third baseman Shuichi Murata provided offense with a two run homer.

Darvish is a candidate to be the breakout star during this WBC. Many die hard fans already know him, but the WBC will allow him to reach a wider fan base. The 22 year old Darvish is the son of an Iranian father and Japanese mother who met while attending college in Florida. They settled in Japan, were Yu was born.

Yu had a very successful high school career. Several major league teams were interested in him, but he stayed in Japan and was drafted by the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters (note: Hokkaido is the name of the island, Nippon Ham is the name of the sponsor, Fighters is the team name).

Yu has had great success for the Fighters:
2005 (age 19): 5-5, 3.53 ERA
2006 (age 20): 12-5, 2.89
2007 (age 21): 15-5, 1.82
2008 (age 22): 16-4, 1.88

Yu has also increased his strikeout rate while decreasing his walk rate. The net result is a strikeout : walk ratio of more than 4:1 over the last two seasons.

Of course, it must be noted that many baseball people consider the Japanese leagues to be on par with an AAA league in the US, a step below the major leagues. However, if a 22 year old player was putting up these numbers for an AAA team, the team would be very happy, as these would be great numbers and would suggest that the player would have a successful major league career.

Darvish has stated that he has no intention of signing with a US team any time in the near future and that he would like to win 200 games in Japan. This is a bit disappointing to me, as I would like to chance to see Yu pitch on a regular basis (preferably for my team).

Korea and Taipei face off at 3:30 AM Central time on Friday. This is too late of a start time to meet the TCO’s publishing deadline. The Asian teams are starting a couple days early because of travel considerations (they play the first round in Tokyo; all other pools play in North America)

Baseball injury watch
Alex Rogriguez has a torn labrum in his hip. He may face a surgery that would require four months of rehabilitation. Keep on eye on this story before grabbing A-Rod high in your fantasy draft.

Boating accident
In sad news, two NFL players (Marquis Cooper and Corey Smith) and two other men (Will Bleakley and Nick Schuyler) were on a fishing trip in Florida when the weather turned bad and their boat overturned. Schuyler was rescued. The other three have not been found, and hope is fading.

Matt Cassell trade
Former Patriots quarterback Matt Cassell and linebacker Mike Vrabel were traded to the Kansas City Chiefs for pick #34 in the NFL draft. Even with the high value teams place on draft picks, I think this is a great deal for the Chiefs. It is true that Cassell had a lot of weapons at his disposal in New England, but you still have to make effective use of those weapons.

Manny
Manny Ramirez ended months of posturing by finally signing a contract with the Dodgers. Manny will make $25 million in 2009, with a player option of $20M in 2010. $25M of the money is deferred over the span of five years. I’m not a big fan of the player option. In theory, this would allow Manny to hit .200 with 5 HR, and then exercise his option and make $20M in 2010 – but if he hit .370 with 50 HRs, he could opt out and perhaps sign with the Yankees for $30M. If you wanted Manny for two years, make it a regular two year contract.

Kurt Warner
In negotiations that were considerably better (although Warner did allow the 49ers to woo him) Kurt Warner signed a deal with the Cardinals – two years with a total compensation of $23M. Warner will give back $2M if the Cardinals are able to renegotiate the contract of WF Anquan Boldin. I’m a big fan of Warner (although my wife is even more of a fan) and I’m hoping he lights up the skies again next year. Maybe he can seal the deal and win a Super Bowl for the Cardinals (how strange does that sound) and punch his ticket to Canton.

TCO weekend
The Soap Boxers will bring you some light reading this weekend.

Saturday: Some good time wasters on the internet
Sunday: The importance of a good fantasy team name

A few months ago, our natural gas detector’s alarm went off. A guy from the utility company was quickly out to the house to take a look. Within about a minute, he had deemed it to be a false alarm. At that point, however, he did not simply leave. He poked around the utility closet and began giving suggestions (which were appreciated). At one point, he noticed water under the water heater and recommended having this checked out very soon. This was the weekend, so I kept an eye on things. I noted that the spot under the water heater was dry about 90% of the time. The odds of it being wet at a time when I was looking into the utility closet were not good. If the guy from the gas company hadn’t noticed it, it probably would have been too late. I absolutely hate cleaning up water messes.

There was a sticker on the water heater, recommending calling a particular business for service. It was a pest control business, which definitely seemed odd. However, I have seen business doing some very unusual things as a sideline, so I figured I’d give the guy a call, on the off chance that he was the correct person to call.

Not surprisingly, he was not the correct person to call. He got quite a chuckle out of the fact that his sticker was on the heater. He did recommend another local business. He had recently had his water heater replaced, and he had been happy with the service.

I called the water heater guy. He told me that, most likely, the water heater was shot. This was not a huge shock, and since it was probably as old as the house (15 years) it was probably time to bite the bullet and buy a new water heater. He indicated that he could sell me a heater and install it, or I could purchase a heater elsewhere and have him install it. I asked for a price quote for 40 and 50 gallon heaters. He gave me the quotes and strongly recommended the 40 gallon heater for my family of three. I tend to get a good vibe about a person’s honesty when they try to sell me the less expensive product.

I decided to buy a heater at a local store and have the guy install it, as it was a bit cheaper that way. I made some measurements and compared them to the specs for the 50 gallon water heater. I should have just barely enough room.

The guy came to do the installation. He nearly fainted when he saw the cramped quarters of the utility closet (there is absolutely no wiggle room, which seems like a rather poor design). He grabbed a tape measure, and much to my dismay, he declared that I am a half inch short on space!

So I go back to the store, and buy the 40 gallon model. The installer came back the next day, and before long, I have a perfectly functioning water heater. The installer had a very pleasant demeanor and shared advice and stories with me as he worked.

Less than a week later, my neighbor asked if I like the job that this guy did. My neighbor’s water heater also bit the dust. I gave a glowing recommendation, and the water heater guy soon had another happy customer.

This is a great example of how someone is rewarded for providing high quality customer service. This guy turned one original customer (the pest control guy) into two more customers by simply providing good customer service.

Since I know there are a couple of local readers, I’ll give the business a free plug : it is Hawkeye Sewer and Drain.

My favorite sport is baseball, America’s Pastime.

My second favorite sport is luge, which is definitely not America’s pastime. It is a sport that is only on TV during Olympic years, and even then gets less coverage than figure skating.

I’m not really sure how I became a fan of luge. I don’t live in a luge hotbed (such as Lake Placid or … Lake Placid) nor are any of my family or friends big fans of luge. Oddly, I hate winter and cold weather. But I love watching people put themselves in danger by jumping on a tiny sled and flying down a hill – within a tunnel of ice – at breakneck speeds. The perfect run is a difficult goal, with the sled having a mind of its own and often disregards the guidance of the rider. This makes the rare perfect run a sight to behold, and something to celebrate. I love to see a perfect run, and will cheer for that luger, regardless of their nationality.

The Winter Olympics are just a year away, and I’m getting excited for televised luge. I have even begun following luge news on the internet. If you have never watched luge, do yourself a favor and make it appointment viewing in 2010.

Luge is not the only unpopular sport that I follow.

At first glance, track would not appear to be an unpopular sport. Track gets a ton of coverage during the Summer Olympics, and everyone saw Usain Bolt’s record-setting run in the 100 meter dash.

However, I’m really not a fan of the sprints. Sure, I’ll watch them, but I’m a fan of the distance runners. On my fantasy Olympic team last summer, my track athletes consisted of 5K/10K runners and a hammer thrower – and all them won gold medals for me.

My favorite track athlete is Alan Webb, who is best known as the US national record holder in the mile. I received a pre-Olympic disappointment in 2008 when Webb failed to qualify for the Olympics in the 1500 meter run.

My interest in distance running – and the mile in particular – does have a logical basis. I ran track in high school, and my event was the mile. My efforts could best be described as “slow”.

My favorite track event, though, is not the mile. It is the steeplechase. The steeplechase is a 3000 meter (nearly 2 mile) race. The race also features 28 heavy duty hurdles (they don’t topple like the hurdles in shorter races) and 7 water jumps. The water jumps are essentially hurdles with water pit behind them – the further you jump over the hurdle, the shallower the water. You can imagine the athletic skills it takes to excel in the steeplechase (as well as the inevitable failures and people experience splashdowns)

Really, if someone does a good job of televising any sport, I’ll probably enjoy watching it. I even caught myself watching badminton during the Olympics.

One time, my wife happened to come into the room while I was watching something on TV. “What is that?” she asked. Why, the National Lacrosse League, of course!

I wake up every morning to the Billy Joel song We Didn’t Start the Fire. I’m not a particularly big fan of Billy Joel (although I also like “Piano Man”), but this one particular song is one of my all time favorites. My daughter (18 months old) also likes it a lot.

Not only is the song pleasing to the ear, but it also works as a great jumping off point for a history lesson. History seems to be a forgotten subject these days, so why not use music to create an interest in history? Most of you have heard the song, but do you really know all of the correct lyrics? The first time I saw the written lyrics, my curiosity was piqued and I had to immediately research some of the names and events. I’ll give short explanations of some of the lyrics to get you started. I’ve included the complete lyrics at the end of the post (hopefully I got most of the lyrics correct) – go ahead and research some of the others on your own.

Johnnie Ray – Ray overcame deafness in both ears to become a major music star of the 1950s.

Panmunjom – Panmunjom, Korea, was the site of truce talks during the Korean war. A sticky point was the topic of how to handle prisoners of war. Some had been brainwashed and others who did not want to return to their countries. On July 23, 1953, the United Nations, China, and North Korea (but not South Koreas) signed a truce.

Malenkov – Georgy Malenkov succeeded Joseph Stalin as leader of Russia’s communist party. He was an opponent of nuclear armament. He was forced out of the post after two years, and eventually forced out of the government completely after his involvment in a failed attempt to unseat Krushchev.

Dien Bien Phu falls – The French stronghold of Dien Bien Phu, Vietnam (French Indochina at that time) fell victim to a siege by the Viet Minh during the first Indochina war. The French surrendered at Dien Bien Phu in May, 1954, effectively ending their presence in Vietnam.

Zhou Enlai (alternate spelling Chou En-Lai) was a leader of the Chinese communist party. Zhou was a comrade of Mao Zedong (Mao Tse-Tung) and served as China’s foreign minister and later as chairman of the Chinese communist party. He advocated peaceful coexistence with the west.

Children of thalidomide – Thalidomide was sold to pregnant women as a method to prevent morning sickness and a sleeping aid. Thousands of children were born with birth defects that were linked to thalidomide, and the drug was banned.

Payola – In the 1950s and 1960s, record companies began a practice of paying disc jockeys to play specific songs. This was illegal, and ruined the career of star disc jockey Alan Freed (and others) when he testified that he had accepted payola.

Bernie Goetz – Goetz was attacked by four men on a subway in New York City in 1984. Goetz shot his four attackers, rendering one a paraplegic and seriously wounding the other three. He was arrested and charged with attempted murder, assault, reckless endangerment, and multiple gun law violations. A jury found him not guilty on nearly every charge. He did spend eight months in jail as a result of being found guilty of a firearms violation. The Goetz incident gained national exposure to the topics of crime and self-defense.

** Lyrics for We Didn’t Start the Fire **

We Didn’t Start the Fire

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe

Rosenbergs, H-bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, The King and I and The Catcher in the Rye

Eisenhower, vaccine, England’s got a new queen
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye

CHORUS
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc

Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, dacron
Dien Bien Phu falls, Rock Around the Clock

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn’s got a winning team
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland

Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Krushchev
Princess Grace, Peyton Place, trouble in the Suez

CHORUS

Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac
Sputnik, Zhou Enlai, Bridge on the River Kwai

Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball
Starkweather homicide, children of thalidomide

Buddy Holly, Ben Hur, space monkey, Mafia
Hula hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go

U-2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy
Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo

CHORUS

Hemingway, Eichmann, Stranger in a Strange Land
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion

Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatlemania
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British politician sex
JFK, blown away, what else do I have to say

CHORUS

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline
Ayatollah’s in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan

Wheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide
Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz
Hypodermics on the shores, China’s under martial law
Rock and roller cola wars, I can’t take it anymore

CHORUS

We didn’t start the fire
But when we are gone
Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on

A woman in Ohio is in trouble for breast feeding in public. Well, to be more precise, it’s the fact that she was driving while breast feeding that seems to be the larger issue. Impressively, she was able to do this while still carrying on a conversation on her cell phone. I’m not even sure how this is physically possible. The mother’s reasoning was that her baby was hungry and she didn’t want the kid to starve.

I can’t begin to comprehend the logic that came into play. First of all, children that age are required to be in a child safety seat in the rear seat of the car. Having the child in the front seat, without using a safety device, puts the child in extreme danger in the case of a crash. The possibility of a crash was then greatly increased by the fact that the lady was distracted not only by the nursing baby, but also by the cell phone.

This lady was extremely lucky that her baby made it through this escapade in good health. The mother faces 180 days in jail and a fine of $1800. I would recommend at least some jail time – if only a few days – to drive home the point of how serious this is. I would hope that 99.9% of people would realize that you should pull over to the side of the road (or take an exit) and feed the baby only when the vehicle is at a complete stop.

A big “thank you” to the driver who called to report her to the police. You may have saved a life. You are a hero.

A 15 year old British girl is in trouble after a teacher discovered condoms and lubricants in her school bag. That probably wouldn’t have been such a big deal if the bag hadn’t also contained information about the agency the girl worked for.

The 15 year old girl had made around $30,000 working weekends as a prostitute over a period of two months. If you extrapolate that to a full year, she was on pace to earn $180,000 per year – and she was only working weekends. She was making $3500 a weekend.

Those numbers are just staggering. In order to make this sort of money at a legal job, you have to be a brain surgeon or a member of congress (OK, so perhaps that tests the definition of “legal”). It is easy to see why this lifestyle could be tempting, especially at an age when money seems like the solution to all problems.

What’s the solution? Harsher penalties, I suppose. Maybe a D.A.R.E. style program focusing on the negative aspects of prostitution. Unfortunately, I don’t see a silver bullet to this problem. In this particular case, a man and woman in their 40s (the girl’s parents?) were arrested on charges of inciting child prostitution but were later released. The 15 year old girl faces no charges. I’m not sure what sort of message the authorities are trying to send.

With the magnitude of money that is at stake, it seems rather likely that this girl is going to reappear in another part of the country (were she is not known to the authorities) and go back to work.

[Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. The author has taken dramatic liberties with the personalities of any real person portrayed within this story.

Note: when reading this, keep in mind the fact that the exchange rate is roughly 100 yen per 1 US dollar]

The Soap Boxers has had some well placed sources eavesdropping on the Manny Ramirez situation. As a result, TCO is the first media outlet to bring you this breaking news – Manny Ramirez has signed with the Tigers.

No, not those Tigers. The Hanshin Tigers of the Japanese Central League. TCO sent our Chief Observation Officer, reporter Scoop Chevelle, to the Ramirez compound to get the inside information. When Scoop arrived on the scene, Manny was dressed in a kimono, resting in his Lazyboy and sipping some red sake.

Scoop: Manny, I must say that I am shocked at this news, as is the rest of the sports world. It really seemed to come out of nowhere. Why did you decide to sign with Hanshin?

Manny: Well, Scoop, they offered me a three year deal at thirty million yen per year. Thirty million! I was having a lot of difficulty getting the Dodgers to give me even twenty five, and then Hanshin drops in with an initial offer of thirty. Needless to say, I was very impressed. I was able to negotiate the deal myself – I didn’t even involve Boras in the deal.

Scoop: Are you sure that it was wise move to negotiate the deal without an agent?

Manny: Yeah, I saved a few bucks cutting Scott out of the deal. He takes a big chunk of the money.

Scoop appears to be on the verge of making a comment, then thinks better of it and remains silent.

Manny: Also, they’re naming the stadium after me. Very cool.

Scoop: How familiar are you with the Japanese culture? Do you expect to have any difficulty adjusting to a new country?

Manny: Me, have trouble adjusting? No, way, man. I’m like a chameleon. Manny the chameleon is what they called me in Boston. I blend in wherever I go. I’m really looking forward to experiencing the Japanese culture. I love egg rolls and fortune cookies, and I’m anxious to see that wall that everyone is always talking about.

After wrapping up that interesting interview, Scoop jumped on TCO’s private jet and flew across the Pacific Ocean to talk to Hanshin manager Akinobu Okada.

Scoop: Congratulations on signing Manny Ramirez, Mr. Okada.

Okada: Thank you Scoop. We were actually pleasantly surprised at how quickly we were able to negotiate a deal with Mr. Ramirez. We think we have a deal that is fair to both sides.

Scoop: Manny mentioned that Hanshin will be naming the stadium after him. Is that really true?

Okada: That’s not quite true. We’re actually naming the field after him. We will play on Manny Ramirez field at Koshien Stadium. You might say that we’re taking a page out of the book of your Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

Scoop: What do you expect from Manny? Do you anticipate any problems with his adjustment to the Japanese style of baseball?

Okada: We think that Mr. Ramirez can really help strengthen our offense. Hanshin not won a Japan Series since 1985 nor a Central League title since 2005. Our fans deserve a title. We feel that signing Mr. Ramirez gave us the best chance to win. We certainly don’t expect any problems with Mr. Ramirez’s adjustment. The American players typically adjust fairly quickly to the mindset that the players must always follow the orders of the manager. We foresee a quick adjustment for Mr. Ramirez.

Scene shifts to TCO Studio

Scoop: Well, there you are, folks. After months of wooing Manny, the Dodgers had him stolen away at the last minute by Japan’s Hanshin Tigers. The addition of Manny should put Hanshin in a position to battle Central League juggernaut Yomirui for the league title.

CNN.com has a disturbing article about two 16 year old girls who pimped out other girls at their school (age 14 to 17). They rented an apartment for the sole purpose of setting up sexual liaisons – in essence, running a brothel.

The girls are being tried as adults – one girl faces thirteen felony counts and the other girl faces four felony counts. The grandma of one of the girls (the one facing four counts) is stunned that they are being tried as adults. Personally, I’m not surprised that they are being tried as adults. This was not some childish prank or someone unable to control their childish anger. There was a level of sophistication that you do not typically see in juvenile cases.

There are a lot of disturbing angles to this story. I’ll touch on just a few.

The girls that were recruited
These girls recruited 14 to 17 year old girls with the promise of lots of cash. They claimed that it would be a better environment for the girls, since they wouldn’t beat them up like a male pimp might.

Did any of these girls stop to think for a minute and realize that they were placing their lives in the hands of 16 year olds? Teenagers aren’t always known for having the best judgment. Who knows that sort of guys the prostitutes were being set up with. Then, of course, are the obvious dangers of STDs. Teenagers also occasionally overreact to perceived slights. What if one of the prostitutes has unknowingly insulted one of the girls – would they have intentionally put her into a dangerous situation?

These girls should have seen lots of red flags.

The customers
Granted, we’re not talking about model citizens here. And perhaps the 14 year olds really looked like they were 18. But at some point, people were finding out about this brothel by word of mouth, and this word of mouth likely originated at the high school. It’s possible that all of the customers were high school kids, but it seems likely that some older men were involved. Apparently, some of the kids who were spreading the news thought it would be a good idea to create a situation where the men would be committing statutory rape (note: the article does not mention anyone being charged with statutory rape). These men might want to reevaluate the people who are giving them advice.

The families
How did everyone overlook the warning signs that something odd was going on? At the very least, they were probably spending considerably more money than they had in the past . The one girl was staying with her grandma after leaving her mom’s house – perhaps this caused things to slip through the cracks a bit.

The school administrators
They were actively recruiting girls and the school administrators didn’t hear any gossip about this? At some point, you would think that a girl would have rebuffed their offer and reported it to the authorities.

The landlord
These girls rented an apartment to use as their brothel. How, exactly, do two 16 year olds rent an apartment? I would think that their credit history (or lack thereof) would have raised some red flags. Perhaps they paid an older friend to rent the apartment for them. In this case, that “friend” should have been curious why they wanted to rent the apartment. Did they pay with cash every month? Again, this should have raised a red flag. Complaints from neighbors about strange men coming and going at all times of the night? Red flag.

Tax issues
Taxes are probably the least of their worries right now. However, income from illegal sources is fully taxable. If they don’t claim the income on their tax return, the IRS might also take a swing at them. Additionally, there is the question of whether or not the girls they recruited were independent contractors or employees. Does the fact that a brothel was used (as opposed to having the girls find their own accommodations) tip the scales toward employee? In that case, they would have been responsible for withholding income tax and FICA.