Come on Husker fans … have a sense of humor :)

The score you saw in the papers was New Mexico 83, Nebraska 71.

This was not, however, the actual score of the game. Some wealthy Nebraska alums quietly negotiated with the media (and the New Mexico coaches) and the media took the cash and reported a close score. All recordings of the event were destroyed.

In truth, Nebraska got absolutely smoked. If I told you the actual score, you’d tell me that it was physically impossible to lose by that many points. Much of the blame was placed on the shoulders of interim basketball coach Tom Osborne Jr. The mistakes in the game were countless, so we’ll break them down by category

Personnel issues
The Huskers were given repeated technical fouls for having too many players on the court. More often than not, Nebraska broke the huddle with eleven players.

The Huskers featured a center who was 6’8” and weighed 320 pounds. This is perhaps understandable, but the presence of two guards who tipped the scales at 300+ pounds was a bit unconventional. Coach Osborne explained: “Hey, you need big guys up front to protect the quarterback.” The result of this decision was a fast break that moved at a snail’s pace, as well as a complete inability to get back on defense.

Style of play too physical
The Huskers got in foul trouble early. This was due to what could be loosely described as moving picks. Coach Osborne was quite upset by these calls. “I could understand a few holding calls,” he sputtered “but since when are you not allow to block the opponent and push him downfield?”

Forgetting to dribble
The Huskers had a tendency to toss the basketball to their power forward and have him charge through the middle of the defense. Unfortunately, he forgot to dribble. Or, in the words of one upset Nebraska fan “you’re supposed to drop the ball on purpose? Why would you do that? That’s a fumble.”

Incomplete passes
The favorite play of the Huskers was a sixty foot toss down the court. Unfortunately, so of these passes were not caught on the fly, and the receivers would pick up the “incomplete pass” and toss it to the referee, thinking that the ball was dead.

Ignoring the basket
Nebraska seemed to be completely unaware of the basket for much of the game, instead preferring to move the ball out of bounds over the end line for a “touchdown”. This resulted in a few dozen turnovers during the course of the game.

On the rare occasion when the Huskers did pay attention to the basket, they attempted to make a field goal by kicking the ball from mid court. None of these attempts were successful.

This was an absolutely brutal game to watch. I would strongly suggest that Nebraska disband their basketball team to avoid a similar disgrace in the future.

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Kosmo is the founder of The Soap Boxers and writes on a variety of topics. Many of his short stories have been collected into Kindle books.

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