The SoapBoxers

This story originally ran on May 8, 2009. It’s much different than most of my other stories – because nobody dies.

It was a beautiful spring day, but Ferdinand the Turtle was in a grumpy mood.  The kids at school were making fun of him again.  All the other turtles had normal names such as Bill, Tom, and Ann.  Ferdinand had a long name, and it sounded funny.  The other kids made fun of him and told him that his name was too big for such a small turtle.  Ferdinand felt sad and left the playground.

Ferdinand walked by the old warehouse.  The workers were unloading a truck.  There seemed to be some excitement with one of the crates.  Suddenly, something popped out of the box and came racing across the grass toward Ferdinand.  Ferdinand was amazed at the sight.  It was an animal, but it was not like any animal he had every seen on Turtle Island.  This animal was covered in fur and had a big, bushy tail.  The animal seemed to be a bit stunned, so Ferdinand talked to it.

“Hello?  Hello?  Are you OK?”

The furry animal scratched his head and looked toward Ferdinand.

“I’m OK, I gue – whoa!  What the heck are you?  You’re the funniest looking animal I’ve ever seen.”

“Hrumph,” said Ferdinand.  “I could say the same thing about you.  At least I don’t have a big tail like you.”

“That’s very true,” admitted the mysterious stranger, “but you do have that thing on your back.  What is that?”

“It’s my shell,” replied Ferdinand.  “I can pull my body inside my shell when it rains.”

“Oh, I see.  That’s pretty clever.  I should introduce myself.  I’m Bob the Squirrel.”

“Hello, Bob,” said Ferdinand.  “I am Ferdinand the Turtle.”

“Well, Ferdinand, I somehow got myself packed up in one of those crates and my legs are stiff.  I need to take a walk.  Maybe you could show me around town.”

Ferdinand agreed, and they started walking toward main street.  Ferdinand saw a rock on the groud and gave it a kick with his foot.

“Ferdinand,” gasped Bob.  “What are you doing?”

“I’m kicking the little rock down the street.  It’s fun.  You should try it.”

“That’s not a rock, Ferdinand.  That’s an acorn.”

“A what?”

“An acorn is a type of nut,” explained Bob.  “You can eat it.  Acorns are yummy for your tummy.  Try one.”

Ferdinand didn’t think he would like an acorn, but he decided to try it anyway.  He bit into the acorn and it tasted awful.  He spit the acorn onto the street.

Bob furrowed his brow.  “Pehaps,” he speculated “it is an acquired taste.”

“Ugh,” replied Ferdinand.  “If it’s an acquired taste, I have no plans to acquire it.”

Today’s edition of Fiction Friday features a short children’s story about Ferdinand the Turtle.

When he was young, Ferdinand the Turtle did not like his name. He was a small turtle, and the name was too big for small turtle. The other turtles made fun of him, because his name was bigger than he was! Ferdinand asked them to call him Ferdie the Turtle for short, but they would not. Everyone called him Ferdinand the Turtle.

Eventually, Ferdinand grew into his name. Ferdinand became a big turtle. In fact, he became king of Turtle Island. Ferdinand was a very good king. His generosity was known far and wide. Everyone on Turtle Island loved Ferdinand.

Ferdinand’s best friend was Bob the Squirrel. When he was very small, Bob had fallen asleep in a packing crate and had been shipped to Turtle Island by accident. Ferdinand quickly befriended the misplaced squirrel. Ferdinand and Bob had lots of fun playing together. They would climb trees, swim, and ride around in Ferdinand’s red wagon.

When Ferdinand became king of Turtle Island, he quickly hired Bob to be his gofer. The greatly confused Bob, who thought that Ferdinand was hiring him as a gopher – and Bob was a squirrel, not a gopher. But the pay was pretty good, and the work was interesting, so Bob the Squirrel who worked as a gofer did not complain.

The residents of Turtle Island are completely free of income taxes. Many tourists visit Turtle Island to see the weekly parades, and a small hotel/motel tax completely supports the government of the island.

Turtle Island has parades every Wednesday. People from everyone around Turtle Nation to see the parades. The schools and factories are all closed on Wednesday so that everyone can see the parade. Lots of candy is thrown out to the little turtles watching the parade.