[Editor’s note: this really should be obvious … but to avoid getting sued, I’ll point out that these are not serious.]

Get Wesley Snipes on the phone and ask what his tax guy recommends.  Rich guys always have the best tax advisors.

It’s called “voluntary compliance” for a reason.  Because it’s voluntary.

Certainly, Fido qualifies as a dependent.

Yes, the above ground pool qualifies as a business expense.

Sign your tax return “Mickey Mouse”.  You’re completely safe from allegations of fraud, since your name isn’t on the return.

April 15th is more of a suggestion.  End of the year-ish should be just fine.

Yep, you can include that $58,752 in charitable contributions without any sort of documentation.

The fact that he picks up garbage for a living doesn’t mean that Bob isn’t perfectly qualified to prepare the tax return for your S corporation.

If your son acts like a 12 year old, he still qualfies as a dependent – even if he’s 30 in chronological years.

Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to pay your tax bill with currency from the Republic of Meopolis.  Money is money.

Include 6,874 pages of documentation with your 1040EZ.  Confusion is your friend.

Include fake copies of your W-2’s and 1099’s which understate your income.  The IRS has no way of independently verifying this information.

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Kosmo is the founder of The Soap Boxers and writes on a variety of topics. Many of his short stories have been collected into Kindle books.

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