The SoapBoxers

Guest writer Martin Kelly is participating in National Novel Writing Month.  NaNoWriMo pushes writers to write a fully contained 50,000 word novel (this equates to about 175 pages) in the course of just a month.  This is quite an aggressive goal – a bit too aggressive for Kosmo!  Martin shares his writing diary with us:

11/1 – calculated the word count that I will have to achieve 50,000 words by 11/30: 1667 words a day if I work every day, 1352 on weekdays and 4054 on Saturdays if I take Sundays off. Today is Sunday, and I’m taking it off.

11/2 – signed up for NaNoWriMo. Easy enough to sign up. You have to declare a genre. I chose general fiction. I may have to change to Romance later, but I am trying to stay away from that. Got to work on first chapter. I want to complete a chapter each night, about 2.5 pages in MS Word at 11pt Calibri. 1313 words by MS Word (-39 words for the day), 1316 by the web site counter. You can copy your text into a box on the web site and it will calculate your word count so far. It is considered “beta” until the end when the official counts are made. I’m going to stick with the MS Word tool for now. Introduced the main character and his wife, a couple of nurses and a doctor. Dialog is hard, description is easy, I will have to work on that. Having just been in the hospital recently helped the descriptions. Having a doctor and several nurses in the family helps too (all on my wife’s side).

11/3 – Chapter 2 was 1407 words, so I caught up from yesterday (+55 today, +16 over all). We will have to see if I can keep this pace up. Started the interaction of the main character and his wife. Since he is still in the hospital and weak, I was able to avoid dialog for a while longer. I have to stop reading what I have already written and editing. I can clean it up after 11/30. My wife is worried that I am staying up too late working on this. There are lots of support options on the web page, but I haven’t figured out how to use them yet. I am more concerned about writing right now. If I hit a block, I will probably spend some time diving into the site to get help. Everyone else who is trying, KEEP WRITING!

11/4 – Chapter 3 was 1723 words, anther good day (+329 today, +355 over all). Tried dialog today, Mother-Daughter. I will ask my wife to read it over to make sure it is realistic. I reread the first two chapters again and probably deleted more than I added. Introduced the wife’s mother and father. Started the conflict of the main character and his mother in law. It is all one sided for now, until I build up the main character. A lot of this book is going to include farming commentary. I will be depending on my father in law to make sure I do it right. He grew up on a farm in western Iowa. I am a townee.

11/5 – Chapter 4 was only 1310 words (-42 today, +313 over all). My overall count over/under count is not accurate any more as I continue to edit the earlier chapters. I think I have stopped deleting more than I am adding, but I am spending too much time editing instead of composing. I added in two more characters today and I think I am doing better with dialog. Two older men (like myself) so a little easier to think of what they would say and how they would react. Tried to capture some future chapter stuff at the suggestion of Kosmo, but can’t do it. I can revise stuff I have already written, but writing ahead poses the challenge of merging. I am writing almost like a soap opera. It all flows nicely, but I do not know where it is going.

11/6 – Chapters 5 and 6 are in the bag. I started an Excel sheet to keep track of just my totals. I was right about hosing up the count earlier in the week. My total is now 8447 words or just 100 words ahead of schedule. I really developed the characters of the main character’s minister (Methodist) and his wife’s priest (Roman Catholic). I really like both of them. That probably sound strange as I created them. I added a list of characters at the front to help me remember who everyone is, I will not include that in my word count. I brought in the news reporter who covered the accident for the local TV station. I don’t know if I will use her again, but she could be useful.

11/7 – Chapters 7 and 8 are good. I am falling behind on the word count. I got the main character out of the hospital. He is meeting his wife’s family, father in law first. Before he got out, the priest and minister set up a video of him in high school. He had been a football starter, so they had gotten footage from the TV reporter. It is all part of their effort to help him heal. I realized that in this blog, I haven’t given a summary of the story plot, so here it goes.

The basic story is that a young man (about 22 years old) is in a major accident. He was drunk and the other driver died. When he wakes up in the hospital he cannot remember anything. He spends the first few days awake listening to everyone to try to piece together what happened. His wife visits every day, that helps him a lot but also presents a problem, he doesn’t remember her. He had been a pretty lousy husband up to this point, drinking and carousing with his friends instead of taking care of their farm which he inherited from his grandfather. Her mother asks her priest and his minister to help them with their marriage. The young man confesses his problem to his minister. The minister and priest are good friends and decide to try to help the young couple together, including trying to help the young man recover his memories. The video in these chapters is supposed to give him some positive commentary on his life to this point, since he has only learned about the bad parts so far.

The plot goal is to get him to overcome his memory loss, not recover it. Finally admit to his wife what has happened. Reform his life in general, and face down the bad influences he has been hanging out with. The romance part of this story is the two main characters restarting their love life together.

11/8 – I had to keep working to stay on schedule even though it is Sunday. Chapter 9 introduced the main character’s brother in law. I needed someone to teach him what to do on his farm. Basically, his brother in law is a guide both for the main character and the reader. He tours the farm, the house, the chores and introduces some more characters for later. I am getting close to having the main character and his wife in bed. I don’t know why, but I am nervous about that.

11/9 – I was on an airplane all day traveling for business. This turned out to be a good thing. I got most of chapters 10 and 11 done. I am well ahead in word count now, about 2000 words ahead. I was uncomfortable writing a sex scene sitting next so a stranger on an airplane, so I had my characters avoid it to. I will be in a hotel room the next 11 nights so I should get a lot of writing done. I joined a writing group on NaNoWriMo today. They have “write-ins” where local groups get together at coffee shops and such to sit, talk and write. I don’t know if I will join it, but it seems friendly. There are also dedicated people in each group who have completed the event in the past who are on call to help. Help could mean explanation of the rules or help on plot. They also have a tracking graph to let you see if you are on schedule. I will have to copy my effort in every day. There is a distinct plateau and jump up on my graph.

11/10 – Chapter 12 was all description. Also started the main character taking on responsibility. I explained why only his in laws are part of the story. Dad is dead, mother move off to be with one of his older brothers. He came from a very cold family, but the farm house suggests that his mother came from a very warm and loving home. She was an only child but our character had lots of brothers and sisters. Again I don’t know what I am going to do with that, but it is an interesting branch if I need it.

11/11 – Chapter 13 the main character finds out that he was kind of a pervert. He had a rather tall stack of adult magazines that his bother in law stumbles across causing great embarrassment. Then the minister drops by to check on him. He confesses that he feels like a creep because he want to have sex with his wife, but he doesn’t know her. That is just me avoiding the sex chapter again. I am getting more comfortable with dialog. Others will have to decide if I am actually good at it. This was a short chapter so I have lost some of my advantage in words. I am right at 20,000 words now, which is still good. I have to have at least 25000 words by Sunday.

11/12 – Chapter 14 and a lot of editing of the earlier stuff. I had the time passage all messed up. I am about 3000 words ahead of my plan, which is great. In the story, the main character’s wife is having problems believing that he has changed his ways. It is hard to believe that a drunk can change quickly, even if the drying out is forced by a hospital stay. He still hasn’t told her that he has lost his memory. He is worried that he is doing everything wrong, what just about every man in the world worries about when his woman is upset.

As mentioned earlier, we recently canceled our HSBC card after yet another problem.

Yesterday, we received a letter in the mail discussing these problems.  One passage in particular jumped out at me.  Note: the errors in grammar, usage, and punctuation are those of the original writer.

“… With regard to the fraud alert placed on your account, our records indicate your account had a temporary block placed on April 18, 2009 due to the velocity of transactions made in one day, the time between transactions and the potential for fraud with one of these transactions.  You may have frequented these merchants before, however; systemically the account is reviewed for the above situations.  Please note, HSBC does not receive the name of merchants identified in these transactions …”

If HSBC claims to not receive the names of merchants identified in these transactions, then how exactly did they have this information at their fingertips (the transactions that were successfully processed as well as those that had been declined) when my wife called on her cell phone on the way home from the mall – a short time after the last attempted use of the card?

It would seem that the name and location of merchants would fairly useful when analyzing purchase patterns for potential fraud.  If my card is used in China one moment and Australia the next, I would hope that this would be flagged as suspicious activity.  If my card is used at the same merchants I have frequented for several years, I would hope that this is not flagged as suspicious activity.

Unless I receive further communications from HSBC, I consider this issue to be closed.  It was an interesting ride – equal parts bizarre, annoying, and unpleasant – but it’s over.

The final chapter was finally written in my saga with HSBC.

On Friday night, I made  a quick trip to get some over-the-counter medications at the drug store and some groceries at the grocery store.  My HSBC card was declined at both places.  (Why did I try at the second place after it was declined at the first?  Just in case the problem was related to the store).  When my wife (primary cardholder) informed HSBC, she was told that this was due to a problem the Mastercard was having during this timeframe.  This may indeed be correct, but I’m unable to find any news stories about this.  Did anyone else experience problems with Mastercards being declined on Friday night?

In any case, this was the straw that finally broke the camel’s back.  We decided to cancel the card.  It did take a bit of effort for my wife to convince the HSBC rep to actually cancel the card.  We received a notification on Saturday that the account had indeed been closed.  A big sigh of relief as we put this behind us.

We were running quite a lot of purchases through the card in order to take advantage of the cash back rewards (while paying off the full balance every month, of course).  I suspect that HSBC would consider our level of use to be rather substantial.

For those of you who didn’t read the original article, here’s a recap of the chronology.

• I do some research and find the HSBC Weekender card, which features 1% cash back on all purchases and 2% on all weekend purchases.  This sounded like a great deal.  (And, in fact, it was.  Redeeming the cash rewards was pretty easy).
• My wife signs up for the card and then does additional paperwork to add me as a second card holder.  This means that she gets her card before I get mine.
• My wife activates the card via the 1-800 number.  She attempts to use the card later that weekend and to her great embarrassment, it gets declined.  Why?  Because there was some sort of a problem with the automated authorization system.  (Note: this isn’t listed in the earlier article because I had completely forgotten about it).
• We begin getting calls from telemarketers.  The telemarketers appear to be shy and won’t tell us what they are actually calling about.  This was very bizarre.  We wouldn’t have bought the product or service anyway, but we couldn’t get them to tell us what they were selling.  We were getting a LOT of these calls before calling and complaining a few times.
• HSBC had a security breach (many accounts affected) and had to issue new cards (with different numbers).
• My new card had my name wrong (first and last names transposed).  The HSBC rep seemed to have considerable difficulty grasping the problem and the implications.
• After getting the new card, I try to use the automated authorization number.  This doesn’t work, and I get kicked to a live operator, who tries to sell me additional services while she is activating the card.  Bear in mind that I am speaking to her after a series of THREE problems by HSBC (security breach, wrong name on card, automated authorization failure).
• In April, we were at the mall for our weekly trip to Target and a few other stories.  As we make perhaps the most predictable purchases in the history of the world, HSBC’s fraud alert gets triggered and our card gets locked, causing it to be declined.  These purchases were so predictable that anyone armed with a copy of our past statement could have probably predicted them.  Suspicious was definitely not the word I would use to describe them.
• Five months pass.  Spring gives way to summer, summer gives way to fall.
• I am contacted by someone from the Executive Office of HSBC.  He appears to be genuinely concerned.  It has been five months since we have encountered any actual problems, but I’m happy to work with the if it means fewer troubles for other HSBC customers in the future.  He forwards my case to someone in customer service.  They leave an answering machine message to let us know they are on the case.  Later, they call and ask to speak to me.  Unfortunately, I am temporarily unable to answer the phone, and my wife is unable to focus on the phone call (busy with our toddler) and tells them to call back another time.  Alas, there is not another call.
• Finally, on Friday, the card is declined again and we cancel the card.

When I was a senior in college, I applied for a lot of jobs.

The College of Business at Iowa State would publish a list of companies that would be interviewing on campus each week, along with a job description. There was a set of numbered bins (or perhaps they were boxes) that corresponded to each job. If you were interested in a job, you left a resume and cover letter in the bin. The company would sift through the applicants and decide whom they wanted to interview on campus. If that interview went well, the company would have you interview at their site.

Every week, I diligently dropped off resumes. I had some interviews, but not job offers.

One week, I printed off my resumes in a computer lab at the far end of campus (where I worked) and trudged through rain to the other end of campus to submit them. I began dropping resumes into bins and noticed that I was missing one resume.

I had a dilemma on my hands. It was Friday afternoon, it was raining, and I was very close to my apartment. The only current copy of my resume was in the computer lab on the other side of campus. I could just say “good enough”, since I had applied for several other positions that week. Or I could trudge back across campus, print the resume, and then retrace my steps in order to apply for the one additional job. This would delay my weekend and result in me getting even more wet.

I decided to give the extra effort. I got soaked in the rain and I was late getting home, but I slept easier that night.

I received a total of one job offer that year.

Yes, it’s exactly what you’re thinking. I crossed campus twice in the rain to make sure that I applied for that one extra job – and that’s the job I’ve landed. I’ve worked for the company for twelve years now.

Remember this story the next time you’re tempted to cut a few corners.

What did you miss over the weekend?

• Peter Rabbit gave a recap of the Six Day War on Friday.
• Also on Friday, Johnny Goodman makes his NCAA football picks for week 1.
• On Saturday, Cheri Nobel reviewed World Wide Open, the new debut CD of the group Love and Theft.

I have been writing fiction stories since elementary school. In sixth grade, my teacher gave me the opportunity to attend a local young writer’s conference – if I could produce just one non-sports story for her. I dashed off a story about Bigfoot and got the chance to spend a day with a few classmates, attending writing workshops. On the same day, most of our class was pent up in the boring old school building.

It was also during the sixth grade when I first plunged into the world of publishing. I convinced a lot of classmates to write articles for my newly formed magazine, Howdy. Howdy was a critical success, but operations ceased after just one issue after a discussion on the proper and improper use of the school copy machine.

In high school, my short story The Case of the State vs. Santa Claus was among a handful selected for publication in the school paper.  The story detailed the prosecution of Santa Claus in the death of grandma (sing it with me – “Grandma got run over by a reindeer …”).

During my college years, my fiction writing ground to a near halt, due in large part to the increase in writing required for term papers.  I wrote a few very short stories, but really nothing subtantial.  Oddly, although I obtained a minor in English while in college, I did not take a single creative writing class; choosing instead to focus on pre-19th century British literature.

In my post-college years, I would write the occassional story.  The story Tina, for example, was written for a long-forgotten acquaintance by that name.  I also began writing invitations to a weekly dinner/movie event.  Most people would simply send out the location of dinner and the choice of movie.  I unleashed my creativity and typically threw several hundreds words into the email.  This would occassionally cause some confusion – such as the time when one person ended up at the wrong Australian steakhouse.

After moving back to my native Iowa, my writing once again dropped off.  It later regained some momentum when I joined a simulation baseball league (essentially, a cross between fantasy baseball and Dungeons and Dragons, with fake players).  Credits could be earned by writing about your team, and my favorite type of article quickly became fictional accounts of my player’s lives.

During my time in the league, I shared  my tongue-in-cheek investment advice.  After encouragement from friends, I launched a blog in October, with the investment advice piece as the very first article.  The blog was unlike many blogs in that it did not focus on a particular niche, instead trying to bring a diverse group of topics under a single umbrella.

I picked up my fiction pen again in November when I wrote  about Oregon’s election process.  After a few more satires, the first true original fiction piece, Release Point, became the first story in the Fiction Friday series.  Shortly thereafter, The Soap Boxers moved to its current address.  In recent months, I have added several writers to the staff, in an effort to add diverse content, as well as allowing me to focus on a handful of topics.  The most important of these topics is definitely the fiction stories.  In July, the Fiction Friday stories were collected into an eBook (along with a longer bonus story).  (If you’re a repeat visitor, you can click on the “Free eBook” link at the right edge of the blue bar toward the top of the screen).

I plan to perodically release new volumes of the compiled fiction – always with at least one brand new story.  I also have a few other irons in the fire, including a couple of possible book ideas.

While I do wish to devote energy to novels in the future, I do not want to forget my short stories, either.  It is for this reason that I am announcing my intention to enter the 2010  Iowa Short Fiction contest (see details about the 2009 contest).  The contest requires a 150+ page manuscript of short stories.  I will not be able to have a manuscript ready in time for this year’s content (submissions are due on September 30), but this is my goal for 2010.  I plan to dust off some of my books about writing (including on book that is devoted entirely to writing better dialogue) as I attempt to refine my writing style.  My hope is that this will result in stories that are more enjoyable to read.

What’s the moral to the story?  If you have the itch to write, grab a pen (or keyboard) and start!  It’s a cheap hobby.

I have to hold true to the word I gave the customer service rep from JCPenney and tell this story to the general public. I figure the bad press I can give counts for something.

My first impressions of JCPenney were very good. My mom in her travels to the States had decided to get a JCPenney credit card as she liked the things there, including the variety. Well I hadn’t really spent much time there myself, I decided to check it out when I went to Grand Forks last December for some Christmas shopping. Well, I was just about blown away. They had great sales, but even better, interesting gifts! I especially loved the thermos you could plug into your car to keep the contents extra hot (it also had a thermometer on the outside). On top of that, they had this massive kitchen set in a box for only 100$ which contained everything from cookie sheets to frying fans to a knife set. What a deal! I left there promising to be back next December to find more gifts to impress my Canadian family and friends. I will admit right now I will be breaking that promise.

My mom watches her finances closely. She isn’t someone who is short of money. So I knew when complained to me about JCPenney charging her a $35 late fee for the credit card we shared something was wrong. Well, she phoned and got it resolved…or did she? Turns out that once she received her bill, her payment was due the very next day. So she express posted a payment to them, incurring an extra $12 expense to try and get it there on time. Well the payment ended up being one day late, and she was met with this fee. So she phoned in, and JCPenney took it off. But the same issue was awaiting my mom the next month, and every month after. So what, she is stuck paying a total of an extra 47 dollars just to have this card? Well the CSRs for JCPenney weren’t so nice anymore. They told her it was as simple as a “mail issue” and there was nothing else they could do. Now I have worked as a CSR before (actually for Comcast) and I know that there is always something you can do.

So I finally had enough. Mom and I decided to cut up the cards, and she would mail one final payment. But this wasn’t enough for me. I decided it was time for me to phone and hear this for myself. To know me in person is to know I am not someone who flies off the handle at small things. I generally treat people with dignity and respect, and always make the extra effort with CSRs having done that job and knowing the crap they deal with. But in the end, I couldn’t take it with this woman. I let her have it, and went up and down a couple times. I appreciate she tried the famous “What would you like me to do to solve this for you” but when I told her, she said she couldn’t do it (Hint: don’t ask that kind of question if a reasonable answer is given but you still can’t/won’t do it). The obvious problem in the end here is that more time is needed between the billing date and the payment due date. But since that would break the contract we signed with them, that would not happen. I asked her “If the situation was reserved, what would you do”? She said “I’d re-think my usage of the card”. I told her we had re-thought our usage, and since this was the lame attempt to keep our business when there were so many other options out there, that our usage was done.

So word to the wise especially to all my fellow Canadians and international shoppers out there: Don’t get suckered into acquiring this card if you want to deal with all of these extra charges. And, when it comes to be December, go on strike against JCPenney with me.

I bought a board game at a local secondhand store last night.  The box was taped shut.  It seemed a bit thicker than it should have been, but I assumed that contents had just shifted.

Nope.

I just opened it.  Inside the box, on top of the actual game contents, were 17 sealed envelopes from student loan lenders (and the Department of Education).

In an age in which people go to great lengths to protect their indentity, someone handed a gold mine to potential indentity thieves.

Oops!

To the KFC on Highway 1 in Iowa City

I love your food.  My favorite is probably the mashed potato bowl.  Mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, and little nuggets of chicken, all combined into one bowl.  What’s not to like?  I’m also a fan of the original chicken.  My wife also likes your food.

Unfortunately, I will never darken your door (or drive thru) again.  Why?  Because your service is absolutely dreadful.  Let me count the ways.

First, on multiple visits (months apart) I have come across a situation where the drive thru speaker is broken.  This isn’t apparent until you actually wait in line for a while.  It is frustrating to arrive at the ordering station and realize that you’re not going to be able to order your food until you get to the final window.  This creates an additional delay.  Getting this permanently fixed would be a high priority if I owned the KFC.

Second, the service is too slow.  It is common for me to wait 15-20 minutes in the drive thru when there are only a handful (3-4) cars ahead of me.  This is not the exception, this is the rule.  I’m not exaggerating, either.  Since this starting become an issue, I keep track of what time it is when I pull into the line.  I can actually put my car in “park” a couple of times while I am waiting.  One time, while waiting in line,  I was approached by an older gentleman (apparently from out of town) who wanted directions.  I was able to give him detailed directions and send him on his way – and the line had not moved forward even an inch during this time.  From what I can see of the inside of the restaurant, the service doesn’t seem much quicker there, either.  This is supposed to be fast food, but it’s really not fast.  I can get a pizza from my favorite restaurant as quickly as I can get a potato bowl from KFC.

Finally, your employees simply make too many mistakes.  There are frequently problems with the order.  A recent order had the wrong variety of chicken (extra crispy instead of original recipe) and didn’t have any gravy on the mashed potatoes.  The order was taken correctly, as the correct items are on the receipt – the order was simply fulfilled incorrectly.  We complained about that incident and received a postcard for a free meal.  I redeemed that a couple of night ago.  After a very long wait, I finally pulled up to the window and ordered (since the speaker was broken).  As the lady was putting things into the bag, I asked for honey and butter.  She tossed something in the bag, and I assumed she gave us both, instead of checking.  Nope, she didn’t include any butter.

Quite honestly, you’re no longer worth the hassle.  There are a lot of other restaurants in town, and most of them provide a much better experience for the customer.

Note that I do not believe that this is indicative of all KFC restaurants.  Over the years, I have eaten at many KFCs and have had a lot of positive experiences.

No direction

I have lived my entire life with no real sense of direction.  I don’t mean this is the figurative sense – I am happy with the way I set goals and achieve them.  Rather, I am being quite literal.  My ability to determine North, east, south, and west has always been horrible.  Most of the time, I’d be better off just guessing.  I always assumed that there were a lot of people like me, literally lost in the world.  When I was in my mid 20s, someone shared a revelation with me.  My problem with directions likely stemmed from an inability to mentally rotate images.  This was a stunning revelation.  Indeed, I had always struggled with IQ test questions that involved mentally rotating images.

I was also stunned to realize that most people have some abilities that appeared to me to be quite supernatural.  Most people can go to the second floor of a house, walk around, and automatically know what room is beneath them! In order for me to do this, I would need to look out a window and try to remember which of the downstairs windows had the same view.  Normal people also have the ability to automatically retrace a route that they have just driven, even if for the first time.  This is definitely not the case for me – I’ll have the refer back to the directions on the way back.

Coping

How do I cope with this affliction?  First of all, I don’t let it bother me psychologically.  I lived for 25 years as a pretty highly functioning human being before I realized that I had this problem, so there was really no reason to panic once I knew the cause of the problem.

I am a big fan of Mapquest.  Unless I am traveling a route that I have committed to memory, I have written directions.  I also make sure to have an atlas with me – a nice, big version.  I also rely on technology.  It is quite possible for me to get completely turned around and not know if I am going north or south (although this is very infrequent).  Our car has a compass on the rearview mirror.  This allows me to have certaintly about the direction and not second guess myself.  Also, we recently purchased a GPS navigator for the car, which means that I will always be able to find my way back to civilization.

What if you’re completely lost and have no idea where you are going?  Watch the traffic.  It will likely be heavier in one direction than the other.  Follow the heavier traffic and you should eventually find your way back to a town.

More about images

I also have a second problem that is very likely related to the first.  I have extreme difficulty remembering facial features.  If you ask me if various friends have blonde hair or blue eyes, it is unlikely that I will be able to give you consistently accurate answers.  I have no problem recognizing photos of people, but I am simply unable to pull back individual features based on names.

I always hear people talk about the huge differences in image quality between various different formats (DVD / Blu-Ray, standard vs. HD), etc.  Really, I don’t notice the differences.  It’s not that I have any difficulty seeing the images; it’s just that I don’t notice hugh differences in quality.  My guess is that I don’t see the gradations of color very well.

This wasn’t meant to be a downer of an article.  These issues have very little effect on my life.  I just happen to find them interesting.

We have a card with HSBC that gives us 1% cash back on all purchases and 2% back on weekend purchases.  We’ve started charging a lot of things so that we get the cash back.  Note: we have not changed our spending patterns because of the availability of credit on the card; we simply use the card for purchases they we need to make anyway (such as diapers for the young ‘un).  We pay off the entire balance every month.  A credit card should never be used as an excuse for reckless spending. On the face, it’s a pretty cool card.  We’ve had quite a few negative experiences with the card, though.

Telemarketers

Soon after getting the card, we started getting telemarketing calls.  My wife is listed as the primary cardholder, so they would always ask for her.  When I would ask what the purpose of the call was (my standard question to weed out telemarketers) they would refuse to tell me.  The only wa y we knew that it was HSBC is that we kept track of the number, which we were later able to determine was HSBC, due to subsequent calls.

When my wife actually did answer the phone, she would ask for the purpose of the call, and the telemarketers would completely clam up and not tell her, either.  This was really bizarre.  I have encountered a lot of strange sales pitches over the years, but a sales call during which the caller doesn’t want to talk about the product or service they are selling is definitely a new trick.  After talking to a manager and threatening to cancel the card if these calls did not stop, they calls eventually stopped.  It’s almost as if these folks were in training and dealing with human beings for the first time.

Wrong name

HSBC had a security breach (widespread, not just us) and issued new cards with new numbers.  My wife’s card looked great.  My card, on the other hand, did not.  My name was backwards (Public Q. John instead of John Q. Public).  As someone with a background in IT, it amuses me that they managed to someone get one name right and the other name wrong – indicating that they do not have a particularly consistent process.

My wife called to get this problem fixed.  She’s the primary cardholder, so she gets to have all the fun dealing with HSBC.

The person she talked to seem to struggle to understand the actual problem at first.  This seems a bit odd, since my wife understood it fully in the three seconds I took to explain it to her (“hey, my name is backwards on the credit card”) – shouldn’t someone in the credit card industry be able to grasp this concept?

Finally, he agreed to send a new card, and then stated that he was going to activate the new cards and cancel the old ones.  Thus began another frustrating exchange for my wife, who pointed out that he should not do this, since this would cause me to be without a card.  The HSBC person said that I would be able to use the new card.  It took my wife a long time to point out that I would not be able to use the new card, since the name on the card did not actually match my name.  Sure, logically a merchant might decide that I am indeed the correct person, but they would be well within their rights to reject the card because the signature doesn’t match the name.

Can we sell you more stuff while we’re fixing our goof?

So I finally get the new card with the correct information and call to activate it.  For some reason, I can’t use the automated method and get dumped to a human.  (sigh).  During the activation, she tries to sell me a credit protection product.  I politely tell her I’m not interested and just want to activate the card.

As she is cancelling the old card, she tries once again to sell me this product, which causes me to get a bit upset with her and tell her that she is really not providing good customer service, and that she should just perform the service that I am actually asking for.  &^%%^$%##$@()(*, I already told you once that I am not interested.  I spend a lot of money with your card.  Are you trying to alienate me on purpose?  No means no.

Paranoid fraud alert

We’re at the mall this past weekend and hit Target and a few other stores.  We use the card a total of five times before it starts getting denied.  It turns out that they had flagged out account for suspicious activity.

Target was a fairly big charge, but not substantially larger than what we spend in typical trip.  We always spend a fair amount at Target, because it is our main place to shop.  We have a toddler, and Target is our main supplier of diapers, baby wipes, baby clothes, etc (which can really add up in a hurry).

The other four charges were pretty small charges (one was at Taco Bell).  All of the stores are places where we have repeatedly used the card in the past.  Additionally, the two locations where the card was denied were also places were we often shop.  (Why did I try at a second store after being denied at the first store?  I’m an optimist and assumed that Barnes and Noble had a problem with their card reader.  Nope, the card reader is fine – the card was the problem.)

At this point, I’m really not sure what was so suspicious about the activity.  The total dollar amount was well within our normal spending patterns, and all of the stores were places we had shopped before.

In closing

Needless to say, we’re looking for a new card.  Has anyone had good expereinces?  We’re looking for something with cash back, rather than airline miles or other “rewards”.

UPDATE: I have recently been contacted by someone from the HSBC executive office.  He is interested in taking a look at this situation and determining why these issued occurred.  I haven’t had a chance to respond to him yet.  I do appreciate the fact that HSBC is looking at this as a learning opportunity.  I will update this post with future developments.

SUBSEQUENT UPDATE: read the exciting conclusion to the saga.