The SoapBoxers

here.  And now, the conclusion …

My mom came the next morning.  My daughter was already up.  I was standing in the kitchen with my mom and I started crying.  My daughter was standing in the hall looking at me and wondering what was wrong with mommy.  My mom told her that mommy would be alright.  I told my daughter that too although I didn’t believe it.

My husband and I parked in the ramp.  When I was walking across the sky walk and the hall towards the elevator, I felt like I was walking to my doomsday.  I was here to lose my baby.  I told my husband I can understand the blood sugars being good if I wasn’t pregnant, but I didn’t understand how my blood pressure could be so low if I wasn’t pregnant.  Pregnancy causes low blood pressure in the first trimester.  I said I had been sick too, but not like I had been with our daughter.  We checked in with the guy I like at reception.  I could tell he could see what I was there for even though he didn’t say anything.  They must have had my appointments in the computer backwards, but he quickly corrected it so that I had the ultrasound and then saw the OB.  He didn’t say he was doing that, but I could tell from what he did say.  He was friendly and professional, but not quite the same as he had been in the past.

We went to the waiting room to wait to be called by the sonographer.  There was one lady in the waiting room.  I tried watching TV to take my mind off everything.  It didn’t work.  I don’t like crying in public or in front of others, but I broke down and started crying.  The lady ignored me and kept reading her magazine which I was thankful for.  They called my name.

The sonographer had to do a vaginal ultrasound since it was early in the pregnancy.  She found the baby right away and the baby was alive and seemed ok!  I was so happy!  I asked if the baby was ok and she said that she had to take all the usual measurements and dopplers.  Everything looked good!  It was too early to tell if it was a boy or girl.  She determined that the OB had been looking at a cyst or fibroid.  We knew that I had that from the 7 week ultrasound.  Even with my tipped uterus, the sonographer found the baby right away!  We were sent back to the waiting room.  The lady was still in there.  A few more people were in there too.  I called my mom and told her that the doctors were wrong and that the baby was fine!  I saw the lady smiling.  I called my dad to tell him the good news.  I called a friend at work.  She had a sad voice when she answered, but then was excited when I told her the baby was fine.

We went to a room and waited for the OB.  She came in and was so happy that she was wrong and the baby was fine.  She was going to let my OB know.

We went home.  I was so tired, but too keyed up to take a nap.  My mom went home.  My husband worked downstairs.  I took care of my daughter.  My daughter took a nap in the afternoon.  I tried to take a nap, but I couldn’t sleep even though I was very tired.  Even though we received the best news that our baby was ok, I was still shaken at the thought of losing my baby and everything I went through.

I e-mailed my OB also as I had a question if she wanted to see me in 3 or 5 weeks since she was out of town in 4 weeks.  She e-mailed me back and said she was so happy and she almost had tears in her eyes.

This incident still shakes me up and still makes me cry sometimes when I think about it even though everything turned out ok.  I am so happy to have my happy and healthy baby boy today.  My baby boy is 6 months old.  I always wanted children and knew I would cherish them.  I may even cherish my children more due to the hardships I went through to get pregnant with them both, the high risk pregnancy and complications with my daughter, all of the additional tests and things for my son due to my first high risk pregnancy, and this “complication” with my son of walking to my doomsday.

part 2.

Image via Wikipedia

I’m a firm believer that lowering the stress in your life will help you live longer.  The best way to do this is to make your attitude more positive.  But how do you do this?

Work to live, don’t live to work. I work for a great company and enjoy my career.  However, I don’t let it consume my life.  When I’m away from work, I try not to think about it very much (other than those time when the phone rings at 2 AM and I have to help resolve a production problem).

Get a hobby. Having a hobby can take your mind away from problems for short periods of time.  It can be following a sport, mountain climbing, or stamp collecting.  It’s not terribly important that the hobby is, just that there is a hobby.  I have a few hobbies in my life.  Obviously, The Soap Boxers is my biggest hobby, and I am also a rabid baseball fan.

Spread happiness. A good mood can be contagious, so try to spread it around.  I generally try to get a few people to laugh every day.  I like to pipe up with a random “whutup, dawg?” as a greeting as some point in the day.  It’s a complete departure from my normal manner of speaking, and usually catches a person off guard.

Make your workplace a less dreary environment. Like it or not, you will spend a lot of time at work over the course of your lifetime.  First and foremost, find a way to get along with your co-workers.  They don’t have to be your BFFs, but if you can comfortably chat with them around the water cooler, it will be easier to work with them when the stress level is higher.  If you have some control over your work environment, customize it to make it less of a downer.  I have worked in a cubicle for the last 13 years.  I’m one of those people who over-customize their cubicle.  I have a parade of small animals lined up on my cubicle walls.  During a high stress situation, looking up and seeing the T-Rex stalking the squirrel puts a smile on my face.  My co-workers are also amused by the animals.

Music, baby.  MUSIC. Music can be a huge key to happiness.  There are a few “happy songs” that can pull me out of just about any bad mood.  Off the top of my head – Take it Easy by The Eagles, Let it Be by The Beatles, Fins by Jimmy Buffett, and Cheap Seats by Alabama.  If I can get those songs going through my head, my mood will almost certainly improve.

Finally, realize that some things are simply beyond your control.  Example: you have plans to go to a baseball game this weekend.  There’s a massive storm cell threatening the area.  If your city gets pounded by the storms, the game is going to get rained out and your weekend will be ruined.  This is a bad situation – but what are you going to do about it?  You can’t control the weather … so just let things unfold and make the best of the situation.  There’s no point in getting stressed out over something as uncontrollable as the weather.

I love technology as much as the next person.  Yet, when it comes time to pick a cell phone, I always end up with the model that has the fewest features.  No “smart phone” for me.  Why?

• Price – Those extra features cost money.  You pay more for the phone, and you pay more for data plans.  Honestly, I don’t spend a lot of “quality time” with my phone, so it’s really not worth the extra cost.  Seriously, I can wait until I get home to check Facebook.
• Battery life – Those extra features also drain the battery.  My current phone will last about five days between charges.  Honestly, I’d sacrifice some features of the phone if I could squeeze an extra day or two out of the battery.

So, what do I look for in a cell phone, then?

• Battery life – As mentioned above, I’m always concerned about battery life.  That’s the second thing I look for in the details about a phone (price being first).  If the battery life isn’t at least 100 hours on standby, I won’t consider the phone.
• Incoming text messages – This is a pretty standard feature any more, but that wasn’t always the case in the past.  I keep up with sports and a few other things via 4Info’s free text messages.
• A card game – Every now and then, I do find myself with time to kill and nothing but my cell phone to entertain me.  Blackjack is my favorite of the card games, but Poker works pretty well, too.  My current phone has a demo of a poker game.  It lets me play two hands before quitting.  That’s good enough for me, since I rarely play more than a half dozen hands at a time.  Despite not being an expert player, I somehow turned by starting bankroll of $1500 into $20,000.  I suspect that the computer players are really bad.
• No flip phone – I absolutely hate flip phones.  I much prefer the “candy bar” style.  For the better part of a decade, I used a few different Kyocera models.  My current carrier doesn’t carry Kyocera, so I have a Samsung A-737.  The Samsung is a slider, which I don’t like as much as the candy bar phones, but prefer to the flip phones.

I’m frugal when it comes to my cell phone.  Here are a few more money saving tips.

• Check for discounts – Nearly every national carrier provides discounts for my company’s empoyees.  The lone holdout seems to be US Cellular.  I actually prefer US Cellular’s service, but withouth the discount, they are a bit more expensive than most other companies.
• Record your own ring tones – A lot of money is spent on downloaded ring tones every year.  But with the right software, you can easily record your own ring tones.  Take an MP3 and use something like Audacity to take out the best chunk of the song and use it as a ring tone.  I have a rather extensive collection of MP3 (legally obtained from my own CDs) and have created quite a few ringtones.  Currently, my ringtone is Runaway by Love and Theft, and my morning alarm is 1969 by Keith Stegall.  In the past, I’ve used Hello, Goodbye from The Beatles, for obvious reasons.
• Buy accessories online – Whether it is a car charger or a carrying case (a holster, in my case), I buy accessories online.  You pay a fraction of the cost for an identical item.

The year was 1999 and I was living in Illinois.  My parents came up for a weekend visit.  At the time, I was driving a 1988 Ford Taurus.  Among its many positive features was the fact that it was paid off in full.  I had poured a bit of money into it over the few years I owned it, but it had been a pretty reliable car.  It had about 130,000 miles on it, but I liked it.

On this particular weekend, Dad noticed that the car seemed to not be driving very smoothly and asked when I had last replaced the spark plugs.  That would be never.  When it comes to cars, I pump gas and check the fluids and air pressure.  That’s about the extent of it.  Dad didn’t want me spending a lot of money getting the plugs replaced, so he decided to do it himself.

It was raining that weekend, and I didn’t have covered parking, so we sought a covered space for the job.  A municipal parking garage fit the bill.  It would keep us dry, even if the lighting was pretty bad.  Actually, since we parked near an exterior wall to maximize the available light, it didn’t even keep us completely dry.  It wasn’t the greatest environment for the job, but Dad persevered and got the plugs changed, with some (but not much) help from me.  He was 76 at the time; I was an able-bodied (but mechanically challenged) 24 year old.  The Taurus was back in tip top shape.

The very next weekend, I headed back to Iowa to visit some friends.  As I came around a curve on westbound I-74, I encountered another group of friends – a small herd of deer gathered on the interstate.  I managed to elude all but one of the deer.  Although the car was still mechanically sound, the amount of body damage rendered it a total loss. 

The time and effort my dad spent replacing the plugs was completely wasted – but it was never forgotten.

If you wish, share a memory of your own father.

Yesterday’s story, In Defense of Art, features a main character who defends her artwork from a critical colleague.  Today, I’ll break down the creative process involved in writing the story.  Spoiler alert: I’m going to talk about the entire story, including the ending.  So if you haven’t read the story, you might want to read it first.

As is often the case, the end of the story came to my first.  In the end, the heroine’s revolver twice lands on empty chambers before finally hitting a live one, allowing her to kill the antagonist.  Why the first two failures?  To build suspense, of course – and to allow the attacker to show himself as even more of a jerk.

After composing the final scene mentally, I ran into a block that lasted for a few days.  What could be important enough to force the main character to respond with deadly force?  An attempted sexual assault was a possibility, but I’ve been thinking an awful lot about The Cell Window lately, and just didn’t want to go in that direction again.  (Don’t have a copy of The Cell Window yet?  You can buy the audio book or print version – which contains many other stories – at the Hyrax Publications Store.)

I considered having the main character be a zoo keeper who stumbled across someone killing ducks by throwing rocks at them (which, unfortunately, happened in this area a few years ago), but I didn’t think it was very realistic that a zoo keeper would be packing heat.  Eventually, I settled on the main character being an artist who operates her own gallery.

I immediately began painting the painter in a positive light.  I softened her image by having her paintings be peaceful nature scenes, and gave her pink bunny slippers to wear.  The antagonist, on the other side, was an impressionist, and his fashion accessory was a maul.  I could have made this a sledge hammer (there’s not a great deal of difference between the two), but maul is a compact word, and also has a second meaning.  As a verb, maul means “to injure by a rough beating, shoving, or the like” according to dictionary.com.  This makes the weapon sounds more foreboding.

Now that I had the main plot of the story figured out, I needed to pick names for the characters.  Quite often, I’ll use the names of friends, especially for positive characters.  I have a new co-worker named Kailey, and she slid into the role of the artist.  The last name of Bell was picked because I like bells – they make nice noises.  A positive word for a positive character.

But what about the name of the antagonist.  Where did I come up with Sylvester?  Well, I have Warner Brothers to thank.  Yes, he is named after Sylvester the Cat, the perpetual tormenter of Tweety Bird.  Barnes is simply the twisted version of a public figure’s name.

Every now and then, you’ll see a news story about franchisees who are up in arms about being forced to sell a cheap burger at a loss.  The situation is typically something like this: the burger is being sold for 99 cents, but the cost is $1.15 when you account for ingredients, labor, rent, etc.

I’d feel sorry for the franchisees – if it wasn’t for the fact that they are wrong.

Let’s break the situation down a bit further.  Let’s say that the Kosmo Burger sells for $1.25.  The raw ingredients for the burger (meat, cheese, bun, etc) cost 50 cents, and fixed costs (such as rent) run $500 per month.

If we sell 1000 burgers per month:

Revenue = $1,250 (1.25 X 1000)
Variable costs (ingredients) = $500 (0.50 X 1000)
Fixed costs (rent, etc) = $500
Total costs = $1000
Total cost per burger = $1
Profit = $250

Let’s say that Kosmo Korporation’s executives force the franchisees to sell a “Junior Kosmo Burger” for 75 cents.  Ingredient costs are 40 cents.  The fixed costs remain at $500, but are now spread across the flagship Kosmo burger as well as the Junior Kosmo.  The restaurant sells 200 Junior Kosmo burgers for the month, in addition to the 1000 Kosmo burgers.  The numbers for the Junior Kosmo break down like this:

Revenue per burger = 75 cents
Variable costs = 0.40 per burger
Fixed costs per burger = 0.42  (500 / (1000 Kosmo Burgers + 200 Junior Kosmo Burgers))
Total costs per burger = 0.82
Loss per burger = 7 cents

That looks bad, but let’s look at the combined numbers for both burgers:

Kosmo Burger Revenue = $1250
Junior Kosmo revenue = $150 (0.75 X 200)
Kosmo Burger ingredient costs: $500
Junior Kosmo ingredient costs: $80 (0.40 X 200)
Fixed costs: $500
Total revenue: $1400
Total costs: $1080
Profit: $320

Wait a second.  Profits have jumped $70 from the example where we were selling just the Kosmo Burgers.  How did we add the unprofitable Junior Kosmo Burger into the mix and make more money?

The problem is that allocation of costs is an artificial construct used to estimate profitability.  It’s a quick and easy method to use to estimate profitability, but it doesn’t actually reflect the reality of the costs.  Really, the true cost structure is:

Costs = 500 + 0.50K + 0.40J

(K = Kosmo Burger.  J = Junior Kosmo Burger)

It is possible to make a profit by selling the Kosmo burger at any price higher than 50 cents and the Junior Kosmo burger for any price higher than 40 cents.  You simply need to hit a high enough volume of sales to offset the $500 of fixed costs.  You’re not going to go broke selling Junior Kosmo burgers at 75 cents.

A few related notes:

• The cost structure used in the example is artificially simplistic.  You will also have expenses like labor, which is a somewhat fixed cost.  Very few fixed costs are completely set in stone – they are simply fixed “within the relevant range”, to use the words of my Cost Accounting professor.  Even facilities costs will vary if you outgrow your location.  The labor costs will stay the same until productivity approaches 100%.  At that point, you’ll need to hire more staff.  But if your workers are only about 50% productive, there’s no marginal labor cost related to an increase in customers – as you’re currently making inefficient use of those employees.
• The low cost items can have an effect on profits if they cannibalize sales from existing products.  In our example, the Kosmo Burger has a gross margin (revenue – variable costs) of 75 cents, while the Junior Kosmo has a gross margin of 35 cents.  If I normally buy a Kosmo Burger but decide to buy a Junior Kosmo instead, the restaurant makes 40 cents less in gross margin.
• Many people who buy the cheap menu item will also buy a high profit item (such as a soft drink) as well.  Thus, it’s important to pay attention to the impact of the total purchase on the bottom line.

(Still confused about the math in the example and wondering how a 7 cent loss on the Junior Kosmo turned into an increase of $70 in profits?  It’s because we’re spreading the fixed costs over a broader base – the fixed cost allocation for the Kosmo Burger would also be brought down to 42 cents.  If you’re still off by $4, it’s due to rounding).

When I was in college, Statistics 227 was a required course for all business majors.  Unfortunately, there were never enough openings in the class.  There was actually an endorsed workaround.  Instead of taking the 5 credits Stat 227 class, you could take Stat 101 (4 credits) and Stat 201 (2 credits).  In an effort to cross this degree requirement off my list, I took this alternative.

Within days of the start of class, I regretted my decision.  The concepts being taught in the class were very basics – concepts such as mean, median, and standard deviation that I had learned in high school.  I cursed myself for not having realized this.

The instructor was nice, and I gave the appearance of following along in class.  In actuality, I was only attending class because attendance was part of the grade.  I spent a minimal amount of time studying for the class – just glancing through the book before each test.  During the actual class, I was usually working on homework for another class.  I sailed through the course, earning the highest grade in the class.

That doesn’t mean that the class was without its challenges.  The guy who sat next to me was named Jay.  Jay had worked full time while attending college to ensure that he graduated without any debt.  It had taken him six years to get his degree in Sociology, but he would be graduating at the end of the semester.

Jay had one little problem.  He had an extreme aversion to math.  This statistics class was the only math-oriented class required for his degree.  The class that was a complete joke to me was a major problem for Jay.  He needed to pass this class in order to get his degree – and he wasn’t quite sure that he was up to the challenge.   

Jay seemed like a nice guy, so I didn’t want to see him fail.  He had a strong work ethic and a desire to succeed, but just seemed to have a mental block when it came to the subject.  Within weeks, my goal for Stat 101 was making sure that Jay passed.

Along with the lecture portion of the class, there was also a hands-on session once a week where the class would meet in small groups to solve problems.  Most of the groups would finish the assignment, hand it in, and then leave.

Jay and I were usually among the last people to leave.  After finishing the actual assignment, we would delve into discussions on any topic that was causing Jay problems.  I served as an unofficial (and, of course, unpaid) tutor, helping Jay through these topics.

I won’t lie to you and say that Jay aced the class.  He didn’t.  However, he compiled acceptable grade time after time.  By the time the end of the semester rolled around, Jay had earned a C and had satisfied all of his degree requirements.  Never in my life have I seen someone so happy about a C.

Jay and I had a deal.  If I could tutor him well enough to pass the class, he’d buy me a pizza.  However, the end of the semester can get hectic, and we lost touch without a pizza ever changing hands.

So, Jay, if you’re out there, you owe me a pizza – preferably Canadian bacon.

For the last year, I have been spending a fair amount of time writing fiction.  Every Friday, with very few exceptions, there has been a brand new short story.  There have been occasional bonus stories on other days, and even holiday specials like Friends for Thanksgiving.

Most of these stories are less than a thousand words.  Every few months, I have had the goal of writing a 10,000 word longer story to be included in the short story collections that I sell in the Hyrax Publications store.

The longer stories have a dual purpose.  First of all, they provide exclusive content for the purchasers of the short story collections.  Purchasing the eBooks is the only way you can obtain these stories.  The main goal, however, is to get me into the habit of stretching my ideas into longer stories in preparation for my novel.

Several months ago, I began work on a novel focusing on the exploits of a serial killer.  I sketched out a synopsis of the story, and quickly got 6000 words written.  At that point, life got much busier.  Unfortunately, I haven’t written a single word in the novel in months.  In fact, I have struggled even to write the 10,000 word stories.

I expect to be able to begin making progress on the novel again, as the kids settle into a more predictable bedtime routine.  However, at age 35, I seem to be getting a bit of a late start.  What if I never finish my novel?

Throughout most of my entire writing career (dating back to elementary school), I have considered the novel to be the highest art form.  All other forms of writing – shorter fiction, poetry, and non-fiction –  were of considerably less interest to me.  In the words of John, Paul, George, and Ringo, I wanted to be a paperback writer.

I still do want to finish my novel.  However, over the course of the last year, my opinion of short stories has changed considerably.  When I began writing short stories, the main goal was to refine my writing style and experiment with various techniques – all in an effort to improve the writing in my eventual novel.

At some point along the way, the stories stopped being stepping stones toward a future goal and became writings that I was proud of.  Is it possible that I’ll never become a novelist, and will instead spend my time churning out hundreds of short stories?    The one downside is financial – as mentioned in my guide to short story writing, publishers don’t pay very much for the stories.  However, there’s a certain feeling of accomplishment in writing an interesting, yet compact story.  At times, I can hammer out a short story in 20 minutes (which, given my typing speed, is very near the theoretical minimum time).  Others have taken an hour or more.  Interestingly, there’s not a strong correlation between the time taken the write the story and the quality of the story.  Some of the more popular stories have been written during an episode of The Office.

Today, I celebrate my 35th birthday.  Or, as I like to refer to it, “the end of the first third of my life.” Here are some Casual Observations from my first 35 years.

• Laughter is the best medicine.  It’s not always the most effective – insulin is much more effective for treating diabetes, for example – but it’s free, and it can be used to treat any ailment known to man.
• When I was younger, I always assumed that the Challenger disaster would be the dominant news memory of my lifetime.  In fact, I had the foresight to save two newspapers from the next day.  Then came 9-11 and took Challenger down a notch.
• I am now old enough to run for president.  I think I’ll take a pass on that for the moment.
• Fantasy baseball teaches some great skills.  Most notable are negotiation and scarcity of resources.  A shortstop who hits 40 homers is worth a lot more than an outfielder with a similar offensive skill set.
• Everyone should hike in the mountains and play in the ocean at least once in their life.  I’m what swim coaches refer to as a “drowner”, but I thoroughly enjoyed the ocean at Daytona Beach.
• You have some control over the stress in your life.  A favorite quote of mine comes from Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer:
  

  God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

• Technology is a tool, but not a panacea.  It cannot be used as a substitution for adequate parenting, teaching, or training.
• Past performance is no guarantee of future results – but it can often be a solid predictor.
• Take time to stop and smell the roses.  Or even better, watch the birds and squirrels play.
• Tolerance breeds peace.
• Eat lots of bacon.
• One of the best ways to improve your writing is to read books written by great writers.
• College is a time to learn.  You’ll certainly gain academic knowledge during these 4 (or 6) years, but just as important are the life skills you’ll acquire.
• Wave a pedestrian across the crosswalk when you’re at a stop sign.  Really, are you in that big of a hurry?
• I have been a baseball fan since I was very young.  My teams have made the playoffs five times – the ’84 and ’89 Cubs and the ’95, ’07, and ’09 Rockies.  The long waits make the eventual experience even sweeter.
• Don’t confuse education with intelligence.  You can have education without intelligence or intelligence without education.
• Tackle a fear every now and then.  I went from being afraid of roller coasters to being a huge fan – literally in a matter of minutes.  In the words of President Franklin Roosevelt, we have nothing to fear but fear itself.
• Whether you support the actions of your government, show support for the armed forces.  These brave men and women don’t have the ability to choose their work assignments.

Well, that’s all for now.  This turned a bit more into advice than I intended, so I’ll hop off my soapbox now.