The SoapBoxers

A few unusual stories were making the rounds last week. I picked a few of them to highlight.

The saga of Octomom

Nadya Suleman has filed a trademark application for the term “Ocotomom”. She intends to use it in conjunction with baby products and a TV variety show.

I’m not even sure that she has a valid claim to the trademark. I believe the term originated from the media, not from Suleman herself. Thus the reporter who first coined the term could probably claim prior use and invalidate Suleman’s claim.

Second, and more troubling for Nadya is that people aren’t having a particularly positive reaction to her situation, and this would inhibit her ability to cash in with the trademark. I simply don’t see a lot of companies who will be jumping at the chance to hitch their wagons to her star.

Fir goodness sake

A Russian man was diagnosed with lung cancer. He had an operation to remove a tumor from his lung. Doctors were stunned when they removed a two inch fir tree from the man’s lung.

The prevailing theory is that the man inhaled a seed at some point, and that it sprouted with the moist can carbon dioxide rich lungs.

While having a fir tree lodged in your lung isn’t the best thing in the world, it’s a whole lot better than having lung cancer.

Money back

In 2005, Deere and company pledged to create 300 new jobs in the state of Iowa and received seven million dollars in tax credits for creating the jobs. The jobs were created, but in the current economic situations, Deere is not sure that it will retain the jobs through 2010 (as required by the agreement) and has offered to refund $1.8 million to the state.

I do realize that Deere probably doesn’t have much leverage in this situation – if they break the agreement, the state very likely has the ability to pursue some sort of repayment. However, the fact that a company is offering to pay back money before the state even asks for it seems a bit unusual. Far too often, it seems that companies fight tooth and nail to keep money that they aren’t entitled to.

We always had red (Farmall, International, Case IH) on the farm when I was growing up, but I have always considered Deere to be a good corporate citizen.

For those of you who are paying attention, I am going to swap the news and sports days.  News will be on Mondays, Sports on Tuesday.

Minnesota Senate

I have already lampooned this situation once, but this election continues to be contested.  Al Franken leads Norm Coleman by 312 votes.  Coleman is very likely to appeal to the Minnesota supreme court, and if he loses there, the US Supreme Court (although I’m not sure why the SCOTUS would hear a case that appears to be fundamentally a state issue).

I’m not going to put one party at fault.  If Franken was 312 votes behind, it is likely that he would be following the same steps.  However, as months and possibly years go by as this election is sorted out, Minnesota will be have only one US Senator.  It would be beneficial for the citizens of Minnesota if a quick solution could be hammered out, although I am not sure what that solution would be.

Palin / Johnston

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston, the father of her child, recently broke up.  Certainly that is unfortunate.  What is even worse is that the Johnstons and Palins have been taking pot shots at each other in the media.  Come on, folks, let’s keep the dirty laundry behind closed doors.

Gay Marriage

Last week, the supreme court in my home state of Iowa struck down a legislative ban on gay marriage.  Iowa is the first state outside of New England to legalize gay marriage.  Republicans in the legislature would like to add a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage (which would invalidate the Court’s opinion that the existing law was unconstitutional).  This is not likely to happen for a while, though.  Such an bill would have to be passed in two consecutive sessions of the legislature before being place on the ballot.  The majority leaders seem to not be interested in pursuing such a course of action.

In Vermont, the legislature legalized gay marriage.  This is the first instance of a legislature, rather than a state court, legalizing gay marriage.  The bill had broad support in the legislature, as they needed to override a gubernatorial veto.

I personally applaud these decision.s  Many people say that this will tear apart the fabric of traditional marriage.  I disagree.  Divorce and domestic violence are the problems that are tearing apart the fabric of traditional marriage.  I have come to believe that sexual orientation is largely a biological issue.  I do not believe that the vast majority of gays choose that orientation.  If it was a matter of choice, why would people choose a path that is filled with so much hatred and so many obstacles?  Recent polls show that public support for gay marriage and civil unions is on the rise; I feel that it is a matter of time before gay marriage is legal in all states (although it may taken a few more decades).

America’s first family of comedy is being formally recognized by the government.  The Simpsons will be featured on postage stamps.  The stamp design will be unveiled on April 9.

The Simpsons debuted on the Tracy Ulman show in 1987.  The Simpsons broke free as their own TV show in December of 1989 and have won dozens of Emmys and billions of other awards since their debut.  When the show first came out, its irreverent humor received quite a bit of criticism.  It’s funny – if you watch one of the early shows now, it’s often difficult to determine which aspects could have been so offensive.  It’s also cool to watch the older shows to observe the quality of the animation.  The images and voices have improved a lot over the years  – they were fairly rough in the early years.

We didn’t have Fox when I was growing up (just the three networks and Iowa Public Television, since those were the only stations the antenna picked up).  I started seeing the show on a regular basis when I was in college, and I have been a huge fan ever since.  I don’t see a lot of the new episodes, simply because I have really gotten out of the TV habit.  I wasn’t blown away by the movie, although we finally figure out which states border Springfield – Ohio, Nevada, Maine, and Kentucky.

I consider The Simpsons to be a wonderful social commentary on life.  Negative actions typically have negative consequences.  Moe and Mr. Burns, for example, do not have the happiest lives (in fact, when Mr. Burns gets shot, everyone had a motive).  Of course, it’s also hilarious.

The Simpsons also does a great job of parodying others shows and movies.   I can remember one episode in particular.  Grandpa Simpson goes to a church to break up the wedding of the woman he loved.  A couple of years later, I was watching The Graduate (honestly, not terribly impressed) and saw Dustin Hoffman do the exact same thing.  My mind immediately yelled “hey, they ripped that off from The Simpsons.”

D’Oh.  Maybe it was the other way around.

Keep an eye out for these stamps when they come out.  Rarely have we had the opportunity to invest 44 cents more wisely.

Gerrymandering

There will be gubernatorial elections in 38 states in 2009 and 2010. This is causing great happiness or sorrow among hard core party members, depending on the situation.

Why the big fuss?

In 2010, states will redraw district lines as a result of the census. Some states will lose members of the US House of Representatives, other will gain members, and some will simply redraw lines to balance the number of residents in each district.

Sounds incredibly straightforward and boring, huh?

Unfortunately, there is a lot of politics inside the art of redrawing the lines. If the governor is from the same party as the party that controls the state legislature, they can basically redraw the lines in any manner they see fit, and there’s not much the minority party can do.

The key is to consolidate the constituents of your opponent into as few districts as possibly. Let’s take an example state that has 100 voters and 10 congressional districts. 60 are party A, 40 are party B. If the voters are equally dispersed among the districts, party A would win 6-4 in every district and thus all of the states representatives in the US House would be from party A.

Let’s mix those voters up bit.

District 1: 10 A, 0 B
District 2: 10 A, 0 B
District 3: 10 A, 0 B
District 4: 6 A, 4 B
District 5: 4 A, 6 B
District 6: 4 A, 6 B
District 7: 4 A, 6 B
District 8: 4 A, 6 B
District 9: 4 A, 6 B
District 10: 4 A, 6 B

By pushing half of the party A voters into districts 1-3, party B created a situation where they hold an advantage in 6 of the 10 districts!

Obviously, in the real word, it isn’t quite that blatant. But politicians do draw some funny looking districts in an attempt to minimize the impact of the opponents.  The name Gerrymander is in “honor” of Elbridge Gerry who served as governor of Massachusetts from 1810-1812.  Some of the districts drawn during his tenure resembled a salamander.  Gerry + salamander = gerrymander.

I loathe this practice nearly as much as I hate filibusters. I don’t know if there is a perfect solution, but I would propose creating a bipartisan commission to draw the boundaries – half of the members would be from each party. They would be forced to agree on a compromise (which, in theory, should be a map that is fair to both parties).

And if they refuse to agree? They would not be allowed to hold the next scheduled house race until the situation was resolved. A situation could be created where a state did not have representation for a period of time. Can you imagine the impact if a state like Texas or California was unable to seat representatives? My hope would be that the fear of backlash from voters would be enough to force a compromise.

Josef Fritzl of Austria was sentenced to life in a psychiatric prison. Fritzl is the man who kept his daughter imprisoned in a secret basement in his house for 24 years. He repeatedly raped her and fathered seven of her children. One child died after Fritzl refused to allow medical attention. He later threw the baby’s body into a furnace. Fritzl faced charges that included murder (murder by neglect for refusing to allow medical care for the infant), incest, rape, and enslavement.

Fritzl would be eligible for parole in 15 years. However, he is 73 years old, making it quite likely that he will die in prison.

I hope Fritzl’s daughter can see this is as final chapter of this story and somehow put the past behind her and have a happy and productive life. Of course, this is easier said than done.

Weird tangent: I saw the story of Fritzl pleading guilty to the murder charge when I was at a restaurant. I could see the TV screen and read the closed captioning, but couldn’t hear anything. The closed captioning and video were a bit out of sync. I saw an image of Don Imus getting out of a car, and saw closed captioning talking about incest and murder. Say what you will about Don Imus, but he has never (to my knowledge) been accused of incest or murder, so I wasn’t sure what the actual story was. Eventually, the closed captioning got to the Imus story – he has prostate cancer. Why, exactly, can’t the news shows just dump the teleprompter feed into the closed captioning system? You have a script for the show – use it!

On Thursday, the US House of Representative passed a bill that would tax recipients of the AIG bonuses at a rate of 90% The method of using language that was clearly intended to isolate one specific group of individuals, combined with the angry statements from some legislators, makes this bill walk the fine line between proper legislative activity and a bill of attainder (in essence, convicting someone of a crime and penalizing them without benefit of a trial.

Personally, I would like to see these bonuses looked at on a case-by-case basis. I’m really not sure why congress is in such a rush. They could spend a bit more time taking a deeper look at the issue, and if they still felt that this was an appropriate course of action, they could pass this legislation.

Game 5 of pool 2
Japan’s Hisashi Iwakuma and Toshiya Sugiuchi combined on a five hit shutout of Cuba. This knocks Cuba out of the WBC. The semifinalists are now set – US, Venezuela, Korea, and Japan. Evan Longoria will replace Kevin Youkilis on the US team because of an injury.

The biggest story of the day was almost an upset of #2 seed Memphis. Memphis was down to Cal State Northridge late in the second half, but Memphis was able to rally and win. A Memphis loss would have been tragic to my bracket, since I have them as my champion.

In the end, the lowest seed to win in day one of the tournament was #12 seed Western Kentucky, which knocked off #5 seed Illinois. The Hilltoppers led by 10+ points for much of the game, before allowing a rally that let the Illini pull to within two points. Western Kentucky was able to seal the deal, though, and will advance to a second round game against Gonzaga.

An interesting image of the day is Oklahoma star Blake Griffin getting flipped by Morgan State’s Ameer Ali. Ali was immediately ejected from the game. Griffin missed time earlier this year because of a concussion. Griffin scored 28 points and grabbed 13 rebounds in the game.

My alma mater, Iowa State, is tied for the lead with archrival Iowa after day one of the NCAA wresting tournament. Unfortunately, Iowa has more wrestlers still alive in the winner’s bracket (6 for Iowa, 5 for ISU) and they are generally higher seeded. Still, we do have some opportunities. David Zabriskie is the top seeded heavyweight, and Jake Varner is seeded #2 at 197. Nick Gallick, #6 seeded at 141, is the second highest seed still remaining at that weight, as four of the top five have lost.

Hopefully Iowa will suffer some losses, the Cyclones will nab some wins, and the ISU guys who lose are able to claw their way back in the consolation bracket. Let’s get a title for coach Cael Sanderson!

A woman in Ohio is in trouble for breast feeding in public. Well, to be more precise, it’s the fact that she was driving while breast feeding that seems to be the larger issue. Impressively, she was able to do this while still carrying on a conversation on her cell phone. I’m not even sure how this is physically possible. The mother’s reasoning was that her baby was hungry and she didn’t want the kid to starve.

I can’t begin to comprehend the logic that came into play. First of all, children that age are required to be in a child safety seat in the rear seat of the car. Having the child in the front seat, without using a safety device, puts the child in extreme danger in the case of a crash. The possibility of a crash was then greatly increased by the fact that the lady was distracted not only by the nursing baby, but also by the cell phone.

This lady was extremely lucky that her baby made it through this escapade in good health. The mother faces 180 days in jail and a fine of $1800. I would recommend at least some jail time – if only a few days – to drive home the point of how serious this is. I would hope that 99.9% of people would realize that you should pull over to the side of the road (or take an exit) and feed the baby only when the vehicle is at a complete stop.

A big “thank you” to the driver who called to report her to the police. You may have saved a life. You are a hero.

A 15 year old British girl is in trouble after a teacher discovered condoms and lubricants in her school bag. That probably wouldn’t have been such a big deal if the bag hadn’t also contained information about the agency the girl worked for.

The 15 year old girl had made around $30,000 working weekends as a prostitute over a period of two months. If you extrapolate that to a full year, she was on pace to earn $180,000 per year – and she was only working weekends. She was making $3500 a weekend.

Those numbers are just staggering. In order to make this sort of money at a legal job, you have to be a brain surgeon or a member of congress (OK, so perhaps that tests the definition of “legal”). It is easy to see why this lifestyle could be tempting, especially at an age when money seems like the solution to all problems.

What’s the solution? Harsher penalties, I suppose. Maybe a D.A.R.E. style program focusing on the negative aspects of prostitution. Unfortunately, I don’t see a silver bullet to this problem. In this particular case, a man and woman in their 40s (the girl’s parents?) were arrested on charges of inciting child prostitution but were later released. The 15 year old girl faces no charges. I’m not sure what sort of message the authorities are trying to send.

With the magnitude of money that is at stake, it seems rather likely that this girl is going to reappear in another part of the country (were she is not known to the authorities) and go back to work.

CNN.com has a disturbing article about two 16 year old girls who pimped out other girls at their school (age 14 to 17). They rented an apartment for the sole purpose of setting up sexual liaisons – in essence, running a brothel.

The girls are being tried as adults – one girl faces thirteen felony counts and the other girl faces four felony counts. The grandma of one of the girls (the one facing four counts) is stunned that they are being tried as adults. Personally, I’m not surprised that they are being tried as adults. This was not some childish prank or someone unable to control their childish anger. There was a level of sophistication that you do not typically see in juvenile cases.

There are a lot of disturbing angles to this story. I’ll touch on just a few.

The girls that were recruited
These girls recruited 14 to 17 year old girls with the promise of lots of cash. They claimed that it would be a better environment for the girls, since they wouldn’t beat them up like a male pimp might.

Did any of these girls stop to think for a minute and realize that they were placing their lives in the hands of 16 year olds? Teenagers aren’t always known for having the best judgment. Who knows that sort of guys the prostitutes were being set up with. Then, of course, are the obvious dangers of STDs. Teenagers also occasionally overreact to perceived slights. What if one of the prostitutes has unknowingly insulted one of the girls – would they have intentionally put her into a dangerous situation?

These girls should have seen lots of red flags.

The customers
Granted, we’re not talking about model citizens here. And perhaps the 14 year olds really looked like they were 18. But at some point, people were finding out about this brothel by word of mouth, and this word of mouth likely originated at the high school. It’s possible that all of the customers were high school kids, but it seems likely that some older men were involved. Apparently, some of the kids who were spreading the news thought it would be a good idea to create a situation where the men would be committing statutory rape (note: the article does not mention anyone being charged with statutory rape). These men might want to reevaluate the people who are giving them advice.

The families
How did everyone overlook the warning signs that something odd was going on? At the very least, they were probably spending considerably more money than they had in the past . The one girl was staying with her grandma after leaving her mom’s house – perhaps this caused things to slip through the cracks a bit.

The school administrators
They were actively recruiting girls and the school administrators didn’t hear any gossip about this? At some point, you would think that a girl would have rebuffed their offer and reported it to the authorities.

The landlord
These girls rented an apartment to use as their brothel. How, exactly, do two 16 year olds rent an apartment? I would think that their credit history (or lack thereof) would have raised some red flags. Perhaps they paid an older friend to rent the apartment for them. In this case, that “friend” should have been curious why they wanted to rent the apartment. Did they pay with cash every month? Again, this should have raised a red flag. Complaints from neighbors about strange men coming and going at all times of the night? Red flag.

Tax issues
Taxes are probably the least of their worries right now. However, income from illegal sources is fully taxable. If they don’t claim the income on their tax return, the IRS might also take a swing at them. Additionally, there is the question of whether or not the girls they recruited were independent contractors or employees. Does the fact that a brothel was used (as opposed to having the girls find their own accommodations) tip the scales toward employee? In that case, they would have been responsible for withholding income tax and FICA.

For years, I have been frustrated by the apparent lack of interest that banks have shown in security cameras. Any time video or photos were shown on TV, the images seemed to be grainy. This always seemed odd. If any business were going to invest in high quality cameras, wouldn’t it be the business that is trying to protect a vault full of cash?

In October, a local bank was robbed. The security photos were awesome. The images were crystal clear, and the robber was even nice even to turn to the side and give the camera a nice view of his profile. Someone actually correctly identified the robber within the comments section of the TV station’s web site. The guy was a local. (Hey, maybe consider robbing a bank more than 20 miles from your house?) Needless to say, it did not take long for the cops to arrest him. Just one day, in fact. They managed to find him in possession of they money, which tends to help the criminal case a bit.

Hopefully more banks will move to higher quality cameras.

In January, a bank robber in Ohio got a bit of a surprise when he tried to flee the scene. After he passed through the first door, the teller flipped a switch the locked both of the double doors, trapping the robber in the entryway. The glass doors were bulletproof, so the robber could only wait until policy arrived to arrest him (of course, this particular robber didn’t have a weapon, anyway).

Not only is this a cool way to stop the robber dead in his tracks, but the bank might even making a profit selling the video to COPS. The robber’s first few frantic minutes running around inside his cage could be quite entertaining.

As you probably know, Nadya Suleman is the woman in California who recently have birth to octuplets. Typically, when a family has experience a large multiple birth, there is an outpouring of support from the public. This has not been the case for Nadya. In fact, a recent survey by USA Today showed that only 25% of people were sympathetic.

Nadya says that she is being unfairly criticized because she is a single mother. Is this true?

In a word, no. There are a couple of aspects to her situation that would turn people off, regardless of the marital status of the parents.

Nadya’s original story does not seem to be holding up. She originally said that she was going to raise the octuplets (and their six siblings) on her own and would not be on welfare.

Later, media outlets found out that she is receiving SSI benefits and food stamps for some of the six older children.

Then we found out that the hospital was requesting reimbursement from the state of California.

Then we saw the website requesting donations from the public. (I have made a conscious decision not to provide a link to the web site.)

Is this your definition of raising kids on your own?

If she didn’t walk to speak to the media, that would have been fine. But once she starts talking to the media, there is the expectation of honesty.

Nadya’s other six children are all between the ages of 2 and 7. At an age where kids need a lot of attention from their caregivers (apparently Nadya and her parents, in this case), there was already a lot of competition for the attention of the caregivers. At this point, Nadya chose to have eight eggs implanted, guaranteeing a situation where the kids would have to fight even more for attention.

Nadya’s parents are ten months behind on her mortgage payments and face foreclosure. For those of you who are good at math, you would realize that they were behind on payments at the time the eggs were implanted. I guess it is possible – but probably not likely – that Nadya is not receiving financial support from her parents (meaning that she wouldn’t be the direct cause of the financial trouble). However, she and her fourteen kids are living with her parents. This means that Nadya’s parents really don’t have the option of downsizing to a smaller house. I feel bad for her parents, as they are in a very awkward position. If the foreclosure goes through, a family of sixteen could be homeless.

It simply seems that Nadya may not have been considering the best interests of her children or her parents.

I really hope that Nadya does find success in her career field when she finished college. I also hope that the fourteen kids all have strong, positive relationships with their mother. Unfortunately, I am a bit pessimistic about that possibility.

I’m a fairly new subscriber to Archaeology, which is a pretty cool magazine. It cost $22 for a one year subscription (6 bi-monthly issues). Archaeology has stories various aspect of archaeological discoveries – the culture of the society that left the artifacts, the mechanics of the digs, and even stories about artifact trafficking. My interest in crime causes me to get sucked into the trafficking articles.

The March/April edition has a story about artifact thieves in the southwestern US. There is a lot of federal land in this part of the country. It is illegal to take artifacts from federal land, but much of this land is pretty remote, resulting in the agents from the Bureau of Land Management being stretched pretty thin in their efforts to catch thieves.

There is a new breed of artifact thieves who seem to enjoy the task of searching for artifacts – a process that involves digging holes, scanning the ground closely for artifacts, and repeating the process over and over. It is hard, tedious work.

These thieves are receiving some help, though. The are meth users, and the drug gives them a lot of energy (great when you need to dig a bunch of holes) and also the intense concentration to comb for the artifacts.

The users take the artifacts they find, and trade them to their dealer in exchange for more meth. The dealers then turn around and sell the artifacts for a nice profit. Essentially, the meth dealers in the southwest are financing (with meth) a massive theft of government property. Artifacts that could be in museums, educating everyone about the cultures of the past, end up in a private collection.

Subjects for upcoming blog articles will include:

Reviews of TV shows Monk and Psych

NASCAR brand disloyalty

The best baseball sites

Profile of author Lawrence Block