The SoapBoxers

 This is a re-run from last year.  This is the third in a series of dark holiday tales.  You might also want to read What’s in the Chili (Halloween) and Friends for Thanksgiving.  This story has adult themes and is not suitable for young readers.

Chris leaned against the side of Santa’s workshop and exhaled a deep breath.  This was Christmas eve – a day when mall Santas around the world were finally taking a break from listening to kids rattle off the long list of items they wanted for Christmas.  Chris wasn’t actually a real mall Santa, but he was pretending to be one.

Chris noticed the women as they approached.  They were in their early 20s, and both were tall and slender.  One of them had shoulder-length blonde hair, while the other kept her dark hair short.

“Hey, Santa.  You come here often?” asked the blonde, winking and flashing a seductive smile.

“If you don’t have plans for tonight, you can come home with us for a Christmas eve dinner,” continued the brunette.  “We’ve been good girls this year!”

“I’m actually waiting for a friend to pick me up …”

“Oh, nonsense.  You’ll have much more fun with us, Santa.  We’ll be sure to get you home in time to deliver your toys.”

Chris smiled as he accepted the offer.  It never failed – hanging around a mall in a red suit on Christmas eve always got him an invitation to dinner.  Sometimes it was just turkey and mashed potatoes, but most of the time, there was dessert afterwards.  It was a bit of an odd fetish, but one that he was willing to satisfy.  He grabbed his cell phone and faked a call to the “friend” who was supposed to pick him up, cancelling the request for a ride.

When they arrived at their destination, Dawn – the blonde – took him on a tour of the house while Carmen escaped to slip into something more comfortable.

The owner of the house was a dot com millionaire who had hired the girls to look after the place while he was away on business.

“It’s a pretty good gig,” commented Dawn.  “We get to drive his Mercedes, charge take-out food to his bill, lay out by the pool … and we get paid for it.  And he’s hardly ever home, so we basically have the run of the place.”

When they arrived in the kitchen, Carmen was setting the table.  Chris was mesmerized at the image.  Carmen was wearing an impossibly short red dress, laced up the back.  Red stockings and heels further emphasized the fact that this was Christmas.  A Santa hat finished the outfit.

“Do you like it?” she asked, spinning around to give him a full view.

“Ah, yes.  It’s very, um,  nice.”

“Maybe Santa can unwrap Mrs. Claus if he’s a good boy,” Carmen said with a laugh as she ducked close and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

Yowza.  Chris wasn’t going to have to use much of his charm with Carmen – she was obviously quite willing to slip under the sheets with him.

The food arrived just as Chris and Carmen were finishing setting the table.  Turkey and all the trimmings from one of the nicest restaurants in town.  Surely he had died and gone to heaven.

Just then, the night got even better as Dawn glided down the stairs.  She, too, was dressed in red – just a red teddy that left very little to the imagination.  Chris pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.

“Carmen gets to be Mrs. Claus, but I’m the Christmas Mistress. I’m going to get some alone time with Santa, too.”

“Not if I can help it,” countered Carmen, in a mock stern voice.  She brandished a wooden spoon at Dawn.  Dawn giggled and jumped out of range of the weapon.

The food was excellent, but Chris had difficulty focusing on the meal.  His mind was completely focused on the seductively clothed Carmen and the even more seductively attired Dawn.  It took a great deal of effort to avoid having his eyes stare in their direction.

When they finished the pumpkin pie, Carmen suggested plans for later in the evening.

“It’s a nice night for a swim … but we should really stay out of the water for an hour after dinner.  Can you think of any way to kill the time, Dawn?”

“I can think of a way to kill the time and burn off the calories from dinner at the same time.”

“That’s a great idea, Dawn.  Let’s give our guest a better tour of the bedroom.”

The guest bedroom that the girl occupied was massive – featuring walk-in closets on two sides and a pink canopied king size bed in the middle.

“We’ve already decided,” explained Carmen.  “The mistress gets you first, then you come back to the wife.”

Chris nodded slightly and allowed the girls to continue to take control of the situation.  A moment later, he had been stripped to his boxers.

“Wait,” commanded Dawn, as Carmen reached for his waist.  “That’s my package to unwrap.”

Carmen reluctantly agreed, and Dawn slid in front of Chris and pulled his boxers to the floor.

“Now, do me,” she said, wrapping her arms around him and locking his lips in a passionate kiss.

Chris didn’t have to be told twice.  He quickly extricated her from her lingerie and followed her to the bed.

Dawn proved to be a very nimble and willing lover, and Chris was exhausted by the time they finally climaxed.  They lay side by side on the bed for a minute, recovering from the exertion.

“Oh, Santa,” gasped Dawn.  “You can ride my sleigh tonight – and any other night.”

“When you’re done with your sleazy mistress, your wife is waiting, Santa.”

In the passion of the moment, Chris had forgotten about Carmen.  She had been standing by the bed watching.  There was a broad smile on her face as she anticipated her own experience with Santa.

Chris took more time unveiling her body – in small part to give his body time to recover, but mostly to build the anticipation of the moment.  He kissed her neck as he fumbled with the laces on the back of her red dress.  When he had finally freed her from it, he held her in his arms for a moment. 

When they finally arrived at the bed, Chris was pleasantly surprised to find out that Carmen every bit as exciting as Dawn.  He wondered if the girls were gymnasts.  A minute after he finished, Chris fell asleep from exhaustion.

When he awoke, he was still holding Carmen in his arms – but noticed that Dawn had also climbed into the bed and was spooning him.  The girls were both sleeping quietly, so Chris didn’t move – it was a pretty pleasant position.

Forty five minutes later, Carmen yawned and her eyes fluttered open.  It took her a moment to figure out what was going on.  When the pieces clicked into place, she caressed his cheek and gave him a kiss.

“I thought I told her to stay away from you,” she said, pointing at Dawn.  At that moment, a blonde head popped up.

“You know I can give him something you can’t,” countered the mistress.

“Ho, ho, ho.  There’s plenty of Santa to go around.”

“Howe about a dip in the pool,” suggested Dawn.  “That should wake us up a bit.  Then we can take a nice, long shower and return to the bedroom for round 2.”

Chris wasn’t sure that he could handle a second round, but heartily agreed to Dawn’s plan.

“I’m afraid I don’t have any trunks.”

Carmen pretended to take some measurements.  “And I don’t think you’d fit into any of our suits.  I guess you’ll just have to go without a suit.”

“Hey, if he doesn’t have to wear a suit, I don’t want to wear one either,” pouted Dawn.

“That’s fine with me,” Carmen replied with a grin.  “We’ll just keep the lights off and go skinny dipping.”

As they crossed through the kitchen on the way to the outdoor pool, Dawn grabbed a bottle of champagne.

“Santa, would you be a dear and grab a few glasses from that cupboard?”

Chris opened the door and grabbed three crystal wine glasses from a shelf.  When they arrived poolside, Dawn poured three glasses of champagne and suggested that they do a toast.

“To Christmas,” she said.

“To hunky Santas,” added Carmen.

“To the sexy Mrs. Claus and the breathtaking Christmas Mistress.”

They clinked glasses and drank down the bubbly before jumping into the pool.

Chris made sure to lead the girls to the deep end of the pool.  When the drug began to take effect, Carmen and Dawn had no chance to get back to safety.  When Carmen suddenly slid to the bottom of the pool, a trickle of realization entered Dawn’s already clouded mind.  She made an effort to reach the edge of the pool, but was still far from the edge when she, too, slid beneath the surface.

After waiting to make sure they were dead, Chris took a few minutes to wipe his prints from any surface he may have touched.  He grabbed the keys to the Mercedes, popped the trunk, and began loading it with valuables.  He had experienced some good years in the past, but this haul was going to be beyond his wildest dreams.  A merry Christmas indeed.

Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday; have you participated to the fullest?  We have been told to spend, and from the news reports we have.  The reports have not directly stated that the season is looking good for retailers, but since there are no stories on the collapse of the American economy, then by deduction, things are good.  Now if the Europeans would just start spending like Americans, the world economy will recover.  That was sarcasm for readers who missed it.

The news has been concentrating on the apparent melt down of the European economy that was “saved” by the United States Federal Reserve making it easier for European banks to convert U.S. Dollars and borrow more money.  I guess I need to go back to college to understand how borrowing more money will get people out of debt.  It has never worked for me, but then I am just a fool who tries to live within the salary I am earning.

I have heard several reports on various media claiming that the states that have implemented spending cuts over the last two years are either recovering dramatically from the economic slow down or collapsing even faster.  Since none of these reports include any source data, it is difficult to sort through the political posturing to figure out what is actually happening.  I am waiting form NPR or Front Line to put out a comprehensive report.  Those outlets usually include detailed references, but you have to wait until the noise has died down before they can complete the task.

I have always suggested living within your means, both at a personal level and through our representative governments.  I do hope that each of you did participate in the holiday push for retail sales, if you could afford it that is.  Spending, actually exchanging money for goods and services is how the economies of the world work and will recover.  We can each do our parts as long as we act responsibly.  This is true every day of the year, not just at Christmas, this is just when it is advertised most.

There is a second part to the holiday season, not just Christmas, but all of the major religious events of this season, and that is charity.  Charity is giving to the needy out of your perceived duty based on your code of morals, most often instilled through your family and church.  Charity, but definition, cannot come from government where the money is taken from citizens and then redistributed.  That is aid and is also necessary.  Charity is individual, both for the giver and the receiver.  Give what you can, support your favorite charities, but please, in the spirit of the season, do not tell people what the “have” to do.

Officially I am on vacation until next year. Reality is that I will be going into my office at least two mornings this week to make sure deliveries are made and plans for next year are complete. With the actual time I will have off before Christmas, I will be attempting to spread Christmas Cheer. The best way that I know to do that is through charity.

Charity comes in many forms. I will be donating to various causes with new clothes and toys and food. I will be donating usable items that my family does not use or need any more to various organizations (Good Will, St. Vincent DePaul, Veterans of Foreign Wars, Disabled Veterans, to name just a few – yes I do have that much stuff to give away as I have two kids in college and one in high school). I will be making monetary donations all around town (Salvation Army is the most visible). I will also be making cookies for my office, the office my wife works at, a couple of schools, my boy scout troop and a couple of churches.

The great thing about charity is that it makes you feel much better than the actual cost of anything you give away and charity can be in the form of volunteering (through your church, synagogue or mosque or through an organization like the United Way) which costs nothing but time.

Now, I give away most of the cookies I make for two reasons, actually. I really enjoy making them, but as many of you have seen from my other articles, I have trouble keeping my weight under control. So in being charitable, I also protect myself from myself.

The great thing about charity is that it makes you feel much better than the actual cost of anything you give away and charity can be in the form of volunteering (through your church, synagogue or mosque or through and organization like the United Way) which costs nothing but time.

To keep myself organized this year, I compiled the recipes of my favorite recipes. Most of these recipes have been modified over time to meet the taste preferences of my family (such as substituting crushed graham crackers for nut coatings since my sister has a nut allergy). I am providing a copy of that compilation (it is only 6 pages and 11 recipes) to Kosmo to distribute to any of our readers who want it. I encourage you to keep writing, be charitable and spread the calories.

Download Martin’s cookie recipes (PDF)

We got our daughter’s picture taken with Santa yesterday.  (It’s actually a pretty good day to do this, because everyone else at the mall is busy pushing and shoving other shoppers).  We asked if “Merry Christmas” could be printed on the border.  The lady told us they couldn’t do that, because of “the law”.

I have friends who practice quite a variety of religions.  If some people want to say “Happy Holidays”, I really won’t take offense.  There is not, however, any law that forbids a private company from printing the phrase “Merry Christmas” (or, for that matter, “Happy Ramadan”) on a product.  If there was, the legal department at Hallmark would be very, very nervous, since they sell a lot of greeting cards that contain this phrase.

And to take the argument to the next level … note that these weren’t some sort of generic holiday photos.  They are photos with Santa Claus.  Santa is tied very firmly to Christmas.