Today we sit on the precipice of one of the most hallowed days of the year – Groundhog Day.  It’s your day, Phil.  The world will be watching.

And you better do the right thing.  I know where you live.  Once you come out of your hole, you aren’t going back in.

How can I be so certain?  One word.


Lots of Quikrete in your hole as soon as you take two steps outside.  You might as well enjoy the sunshine, because you can’t go home again, you little rat.  Not unless bust out the concrete with a jackhammer.

I want my spring, Phil, and I want it now.  If you dare to sic more winter on me, we’ll be having groundhog-ka-bobs for dinner tonight.