Hey dedicated Soapboxer readers! Miss me? I know you’re checking the website to see what I have to say about all of the developments in the ever-changing GOP race. Right?

I know it’s not nice to brag, but I totally called it. I should have bought a Powerball ticket on caucus day. I wrote an article for Yahoo! News  on caucus morning with my predictions. Granted it’s taken a few weeks for people to realize I was right, but such is my life. I’m used to it. When I’m right, I’m not humble. Especially when people slammed me for weeks saying that Santorum “had no chance” or “should have dropped out a while ago”. I told a friend that he’d be “eating his words” and he replied “doubt it”. Fork or spoon, buddy. Fork or spoon.

[Editor’s note: this is breaking news this morning.  The official tally gives Santorum the win by 34 votes.]

If you read the article, I was not only correct on the winner of the caucus but I called it ALL THE WAY DOWN THE LINE. Yeah. I’m awesome. Take that Miss Cleo. I also predicted Newt’s ex-wife issues, Romney’s win in New Hampshire and Huntsman’s mistake. Let’s take a look at that fun gaffe!

Where Jon Huntsman Went Wrong (Or Don’t Diss Iowa, Stupid)

The headline sums it up pretty well. If you want to be President of the United States, that means President of ALL of the United States, not just the East Coast. When you diss Iowa, you diss the whole midwest. And if you have a map (and are not Miss America), you’d know that’s a lot of the Country. As soon as he made his corn-Presidents comment, it was game over for Huntsman.

Newt’s Ex-Wife Problem

In my article regarding finishes in the Iowa Caucus, I stated that

Newt Gingrich isn’t conservative enough for Iowans, thus giving him a fourth-place finish. He’s got too many skeletons (and ex-wives) in the closet. He’s a brilliant and smart man, but Iowans believe if you can’t keep an oath to your spouse, what makes us believe you’ll keep an oath to the voters.

I had my husband in tears (from laughter) the other night. I compared Newt’s marital record to someone who is a habitual leaser of cars. You’ve got to trade up to the newer, younger, prettier model every few years…but you’ve got to take it for a test drive first. Am I wrong? I didn’t think so. It should be interesting to see (if the interview does air) what his ex-wife has to say. Forget the Kardashians, Newt should have a reality show titled, “Gettin Down with the Gingriches”. I’d watch it.

Perry is Dropping Out

I’m kind of sad to hear this news. It makes sense, he’s at the bottom of the pack, polling horribly and not getting endorsements. I thought he was a good enough guy, he was just horrible in debates. I think everyone can recall the “Ummm” heard round the world. Granted, W wasn’t the best debater either, but hey, I love me some W. Maybe it’s the accent or the Cowboy I like. Maybe Paula Cole was right, “Where have all the Cowboys gone?” Either way, this one is going back to Texas. Hopefully he’s “saved a pretzel for the gas jets.”

What’s going to happen after South Carolina? Who knows. Maybe I’ll make a prediction soon. I just hope whomever is the GOP candidate they can take out Obama. Keep the goal in mind, fellow Conservatives. OMG. Obama Must Go.