The SoapBoxers

“Some people are going to be really surprised when Drew Brees stands up in Canton to give his acceptance speech.”

I’ve made comments similar to this a few times in the past year.  Even when speaking to knowledgeable fans, it’s often met with skepticism.  After all, Drew Brees is a nice guy, but he’s no Peyton Manning.  One friend even commented that he’s basically Dan Fouts, and that Fouts wasn’t good enough for the Hall of Fame.  I countered this by showing that Brees is better than Fouts was … and that Fouts is indeed enshrined in Canton.

Brees is definitely a nice guy.  He’s always involved in charity work and never in trouble – despite being the king of the party town of New Orleans.  In an article in Sports Illustrated, a Saints teammate pondered the question of how much trouble Ben Roethlisberger could get himself into in the Big Easy.  I do think, though, that Brees’ good-guy reputation may be preventing his greatness on the field from getting the recognition he deserves.

First of all, let’s stop with the comparisons to Peyton Manning.  Manning will go down as the greatest quarterback of this generation (sorry, Brady, but you’re going to come up shorting in counting stats, such as passing yards and TDs).  By the end of the 2014 season, Manning (who will be 38 at the time) will be the all time leader in passing yards and touchdowns (assuming that Brett Favre stays retired).

The presence of Manning, though, shouldn’t detract from the greatness of Brees, any more than the presence of Babe Ruth should detract from the greatness of Lou Gehrig.  Brees (who is nearly three years younger than Manning) has 35,266 passing yards and 235 touchdowns to his credit.  Let’s extrapolate a bit, assuming that Brees plays five more seasons.  (Yes, yes, we should be very careful when predicting future performance).

Brees has thrown at least 33 touchdowns in each of the past three seasons … but he’ll be getting older, so let’s assume a bit of decline.  Brees has seven straight seasons of at least 24 touchdowns – so let’s put him down for 25 more TDs in each of the next five seasons.  That’s 125 touchdowns to add to his current total of 235 – bringing the extrapolated total to 360.  In his five years as leader of the high powered Saints offense, Brees has averaged 4583.6 passing yards per year.  Again, let’s trim this down a bit, assuming for a bit of decline.  We’ll assume a still powerful Saints offense, but a “mere” 4000 passing yards per season.  That would add 20,000 passing yards to his total of 35,266 – bringing his extrapolated career total to 55,266.

How do those numbers stack up?  360 touchdowns would likely place him 4th or 5th all time (depending on how Tom Brady does during the same span) and 55,266 passing yards would likely rank 4th all time (Brees is currently behind Kerry Collins and Donovan McNabb, but I would expect him to be ahead of them at the end of the five years).

Bear in mind that my numbers are based on his retirement at age 36.  If he decides to play until he is 40, then 70,000 yards and 500 touchdowns might come into play.

Being top five in passing yards and TD would certainly punch Brees’ ticket to Canton.  Only three quarterbacks with more than 275 touchdowns are not in the Hall of Fame.  Two of theme aren’t eligible yet (Favre and Manning) but are locks to be enshrined – and the third is Vinny Testaverde, who took 21 seasons to toss 275 TDs.  Is Brees a product of a pass-happy era in the NFL.  Sure.  But there’s a reason why everyone isn’t racking up 4500 passing yards per year.  Most coaches don’t trust their quarerback to throw the ball 650 times per year.

Still, Brees must have some young gunslingers coming up in his rear view mirror, right?  Not really.  If we look at players younger than Brees, the leaders in touchdowns is Eli Manning with 156 and passing yards is Carson Palmer with 22,694.  That’s 75 fewer touchdowns and 12,572 fewer passing yards than Brees.

No matter how you slice it, Brees is one of the elite QBs in the game today.

We are just about to the end of the seemingly longer and longer NFL football season. This past weekend was filled with four games but I don’t think we really learned anything new watching any of the games. Here is a recap.

Jets vs. Patriots. – What we knew going in – The Jets are a loud mouthed smack talking bunch and so is their head coach. What we learned? Yep, that pretty much sums it up……

I was particularly entertained by Bart Scott going on a tirade following the game how they are all disrespected and that no one gave them a chance and everyone in the media is bad mouthing them. First off who is “they” Secondly, no one was disrespecting you in the media. The media has just pretty much been saying that the team you play for – starting with the head coach down to the 4th string kicker – like to run their mouths a lot. I guess you proved to everyone Bart after this weekend that YES – in fact the media had this one right all along.

Steelers vs. Ravens – What we knew going in – Flacco has never beaten Roethlisberger in the Playoffs. What we learned – Yep that pretty much sums it up….

Another old fashioned slobberknocker of a football game, but the main story here was the Steeler magic as the Ravens blow a HUGE halftime lead and get sent home, yet again, at the hands of the division rival.

Packers vs. Falcons – What we knew going in – The Packers are playing really good right now. What we learned? – The Packers are playing even better than we thought.

This was the most lopsided game of the weekend as Atlanta is good, they were at home, and they got whipped bad. This was not even as close as the score. This sets up a dandy this weekend with…

Bears vs. Seahawks – What we knew going in – The Bears live and die by the play of Jay Cutler – What we learned? This last weekend Cutler was pretty dadgum good.

Da Bears are not the 1985 Bears although the media has to ALWAYS go there. The defense is good, but nowhere close to the total stymie defense of 85. The offense is totally Jekyll and Hyde and that falls mainly on the fact the Bears have no good wide receivers, a limited run game, but the special teams and defense are good enough that it can keep them in most games, unless they become unraveled by the QB play. This one to me is the most intriguing matchup of the playoffs. Old School rivalry. Playing in the cold and the snow. Black and Blue division…..etc. Should be a good one.

I have the Steelers vs. the Packers in the Match Up next week. The Jets do not have enough defense to counter the power game of the Steelers and the Steelers defense…well…it is a WHOLE lot better than the Patriots.

In the NFC, I have the Packers moving on. I think they are playing better than anyone right now. Their defense is good enough, their offense is explosive, and most importantly I would take Rodgers over Cutler all day long.

Enjoy the weekend and some great football games.

Stay Classy Tucson!!

The conference championship games are now set; the New York Jets will be visiting the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers will be visiting the Chicago Bears. Both are #2-#6 seed match ups. Some of the games this weekend were messy. Each provided the coaches, even the winning coaches, plenty to teach this week.

In the Pittsburgh – Baltimore game, we learned you play to the whistle, as a Baltimore lineman picked up the ball and ran in for a touchdown on a fumble that no one else noticed, they were just standing around with the ball sitting on the ground. In the New England – New York game we learned that when you are going to run a fake punt, pay attention to where the ball is. In the Atlanta – Green Bay game we learned not to hurry at the end of the half with short dangerous passes. And finally, we learned in the Chicago – Seattle game, we learned that you have to run your pattern and actually catch the ball to win games. I am sure that you can see many more teaching opportunities (like do not commit stupid penalties at critical points in the game).

All four of the teams in the champion ship games have been to and won at least one Super Bowl, so no new story line there. None of these teams have matched up against each other in the Super Bowl before, so some interest there. The Steelers already have six Super Bowl Championships, the Jets are undefeated in the Super Bowl (but only have one appearance). Only one #6 seed has ever made it to the Super Bowl, Pittsburgh in Super Bowl XL, which they won. The #2 seed has made it to the Super Bowl 22 times, winning 11 and losing 11. Two #2s have met only once in the Super Bowl. Two of the teams come from large markets, the other two have storied Super Bowl history behind them.

The New York Jets beat Pittsburgh during the regular season in their only meeting. Chicago and Green Bay split their two games. The Jets beat Green Bay but lost to Chicago. Pittsburgh did not play either NFC team this year. I am sure that the pundits will have plenty of stories and angles to comment on.

The good new is that one of the New York teams made it to the Conference Championship. Why is this good news? About 95% of the talking heads predicted a possible NY-NY show down in Dallas for Super Bowl XLV. In week 2 of the season, most of those same experts called the both NY teams’ seasons over, so much for predicting 4 months and 16 games out. I guess that I get some juvenile pleasure out of seeing the experts proven wrong.

I was glad that Seattle won in the first round of the playoffs against the New Orleans Saints. I am not bashing the Saints, but there were so many people on talk shows saying that Seattle should not be in the playoffs because they did not have a winning record. I disagree. The rules as they stand today are that you have to win your division to get to the playoffs. If you don’t do that, there is the gift of 2 wild card spots for teams that played well, just not well enough to win their divisions. It was not that long ago that there were only three divisions and one wild card for each conference, now twelve teams out of the 32 get into the playoffs. My objection is the demand to change the rules in the middle (or near the end) of the season.

I still have a horse in this race, so I am pretty excited. I will be having a Super Bowl party regardless of the participants. The Super Bowl is usually a good game and there are those commercials. My friends and I usually skip the half time show, ever since Janet Jackson was exposed in front of my young children. American style football has produced great entertainment for years, with the Super Bowl being there grand finale each year. I do no expect to be disappointed this year.

The sound of Avril Lavigne’s voice was cut off suddenly when Beth Morgan pull out the earbuds and turned off her iPod.  It was time to rock and roll.

With one run remaining in the Olympics, the battle for the medals in the women’s luge was surprisingly tight.  The iconic German slider, Heidi Jager, had not been her dominant self and held a lead of just .092 seconds over fellow German Katarina Vogel.  Andrea Vogel – yet another German – was in third place, just .124 seconds back.  Beth – the great American hope – trailed by just .191 seconds, but an Austrian was just a hundredth of a second behind her.

The sliders were competing in reverse order of placement, with the best lugers waiting until the tail end for their turn.  Beth had been waiting patiently, and had now nearly reached the most important moment of her life.  She waited for the Autrian to finish her run.  It was a strong run, and Beth would need a mistake-free run to stay in fourth.

“Slide, baby, slide!” she told herself as she prepared for her run.

A moment later, Beth had launched herself down the hill.  She activated her mental map of the course and readied herself for the first turn.  She kept a low line into the corner and exited the curve with her speed still intact.  The adrenaline was coursing through her veins – racing down a sheet of ice at breakneck speed was perhaps second only to busting broncs on her uncle’s ranch in terms of pure excitement.  Beth struggled to keep the adrenaline from taking control – something that could cause her to oversteer and lose her line. 

As she zipped through the corners and straightaways, Beth realized that she was having the best run of her life.  She was perfectly in tune with the course – she was in the midst of a mistake free run, keeping a low line through every curve.  When she crossed the finish line, she glanced up at her time.  46.792!  It was the fastest time of the Olympics so far – and put her in strong contention for a medal.

Andrea Wagner was next on the course.  Beth held her breath as Wagner negotiated the course expertly.  It was a strong performance, but not quite good enough.  Wagner’s run caused her to slip behind Beth in the standings – clinching at least a bronze for the American.

Katarina Vogel had also been paying attention to Wagner’s run.  When Vogel reached the starting gate, she knew that a safe run wasn’t going to be enough to stay ahead of Beth.  She’d need a time of 46.89 or better to avoid slipping in the standings.  Vogel got off to a great start and was soon rocketing down the course.  Beth noticed that the German was taking a high risk, high reward approach.    Vogel made it nearly 2/3 of the way down the course before the risk caught up with her – her sled overturned coming out of a turn.  Vogel quickly righted herself and continued her descent, but she knew that a medal was an impossibility.

Beth Morgan could not contain her excitement!  Who would have ever expected an American to win a silver medal in these Olympics?  She watched Heidi Jager begin her run.  Jager needed a 46.982 to finish ahead of Beth – something she was certainly capable of.  Jager got off to a strong start and ran a low risk run – but, in typically Jager style, was able to get maximum speed out of it.  As the split times popped up, Beth saw that Jager was keeping pace with her time.

Three corners before the end, Jager exited the turn poorly, and it caused her to run bad lines through the final stretch of the course.  Certainly the mistake would cost her – but how much?  When Jager crossed the line, Beth looked up … and saw a time of 46.985!

Beth’s teammates mobed her before the reality sunk in – she was golden!

[Editor’s note: As many of you know, I am a huge fan of luge.  Unfortunately, for fans like myself, there are many good, independent luge sites on the internet – most of the sites are affiliated with governing bodies.  As a result, I have launched LugeFans.com, a place where luge fans can gather to discuss the sports.  I’ll be blogging on luge related topics – and seeking other writers to also write articles – but there are also discussion boards where free-form discussions can occur.  The site is still in its infancy (born yesterday), but expect it to grow considerably in the coming months.  As for Avril Lavigne?  Despite being a country fan for the most part, I’m a big fan of her music and just felt like slipping her into a story.  I always have her music on my iPod.]

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and the events of January 8th solidified it for me:

The United States is too divided.  We are, as a nation, scared.

Yes, I’ve written about this before, but it’s getting worse every day.  We’re too divided to prosper.  Too divided to revolutionize.  So divided we’re scared.  Partisan politics has reached a fervor beyond anything the Yankees/Red Sox, Lakers/Celtics, UNC/Duke, or any other sports rivalry has seen.  A large portion of the people we elect to office not only seem to care about making “the other side” look bad more than they care about serving their constituants, they’ve flat out said as much.  Mitch McConnell has said “the most important thing we (Republicans) want to achieve is to make Obama a one-term president.” 

He didn’t say we need to get out of this economic turmoil.  He didn’t say need to come together as people.  His primary concern doesn’t even seem to be that his party wins, but that the other guys lose.  With that kind of attitude, everyone loses.  Project fear that the government or economy will collapse if the other side stays in power and you increase their chance of losing.

Think about it, who has more say in how this country is run, your congressperson or the CEO of Goldman Sachs?  Who has more say in where the military is deployed, the average army captain or Exxon?  I’m not saying capitalism isn’t the least of all evils in terms of social policies, I’m saying that unless it’s on a tight leash if you give it an inch it will take a mile.  What better way to get the government to give you billions of dollars than to make everyone fear an economic collapse?

It’s not just fear (and greed) that’s ruining us, it’s an acceptance of violence.  Say what you want about Michael Moore, but on the issue of America and violence and fear he hit the nail on the head in his movie Bowling for Columbine – we can’t explain why we have a similar ratio of people-to-guns as Canada but they have literally a fraction of the firearm murder rate.  Why are we, the leader of the “civilized” world, so violent, so afraid?

Part of it is the media and the sensationalization of violence.  The expansion of coverage of violence in the media has certainly exploded, but aren’t they just giving us what we want?  What is it about violence that keeps us as a society couchbound and captivated?  I think a big part of it is fear.  Fear has always been used as a tool for control, and it’s being used more and more often now by both the media and the government.  What better way to drum up ratings than by scaring people so much that they have to tune in for more coverage?  What better way to keep the populous passive and your corporate overlords placated than by scaring the people with the TSA or the DEA and then broadcast it on the nightly news?

 So what can be done?  Small steps aren’t going to solve this problem, not even close.  I’ve heard it said that we need a 3rd political party to change things, well, I disagree:  we need a 2nd party.  The two we have now are just minor variations on the same beast sucking at the corporate teat, content to let fear keep us in line.  I’m sure some people will say my ideas are way too extreme, but we need to stop corporations from running this country and to do that complete overhauls of both the campaign finance system and lobbyist system are needed.  No more corporate donations.  Caps on personal donations.  100% transparency in all political donations.  A lockout period of at least 5 years on any ex-politician before they can become a lobbyist.  Complete disclosures on any politician/lobbyist meeting – yes, complete.  That means any and all politician/lobbyist meetings are recorded and publically available.  If you want to help run this country, you’re going to do it for the people, dammit, not for your own or your friend’s own personal gain.

Transparency.  Truth.  Information.  They will show us that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and that we can once again come back as the land of the free and the home of the brave.

As the stock market has meandered through peaks and valleys in recent years, gold has continued its rapid upward ascent. This has not gone unnoticed. On the one hand, we are bombarded by ads from companies urging you to invest in gold (by purchasing from them, of course). On the other side of the equation, everyone is offering to buy your gold jewelry – even the ugly and broken pieces. I must admit that I’m a bit confused at seeing both types of ads – is this a time to buy gold or sell gold?

So I have to ask myself – should I invest in gold?

It has often been said that gold tends to keep its value in a down economy. But why is this? As I see if, gold has two things going for it.

1. It’s pretty
2. It does a good job of conducting electricity

Obviously, the price of gold isn’t driven by its ability to conduct electricity. Certainly gold jewelry is pretty, but should this be the sole reason to pay more than $1300 per ounce?

There is another reason, of course. As gold enthusiasts will tell you, for thousands of years, people have used gold as currency – long before the advent of paper currency (this is the old argument of “this is how we’ve always done it in the past”). After all, you can always print more money, but you can’t make more gold. While that statement is literally true, it’s misleading. While the amount of gold existing in the world cannot be increased, the fact of the matter is that we don’t know how much exists. We know how much exists in the marketplace, but this can be increased by mining for gold. Is there a mother lode in the midst of the Amazon basin, just waiting to be extracted?

If the world economy was teetering on the brink of collapse, how valuable would gold really be? The basic necessities of life are food, water, and shelter. Gold provides none of these. Can you trade gold for these necessities? Sure – as long as your trading partner values gold more than food, water, or shelter.

Why, then, does gold continue to rise? I believe that it’s not because gold is intrinsically immune from economic downturns, but merely that a large number of people have convinced themselves that gold is immune from economic downturns. There’s a term for this – a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The “buy gold” advertisements tend to fan the flames a bit more. At some point, we’re going to reach a point where all of the believers have bought into the gold bull market. What will happen at that point? Will the bubble burst?
Invest in gold if you wish, but I urge you to keep an open mind and ask yourself what, exactly, is driving the demand. I can understand using gold as one aspect of your portfolio, but it might not be wise to put all your eggs in one basket.

The College Bowl Season is now in the books. The experts as usual were way off on the Tostitos National Championship game predictions last night figuring this game would be a high scoring offensive explosion. I for one missed on a ton of my bowl predictions but I did get this one right. The Johnny Goodman prediction was a lower scoring defensive battle.

Overall it was a close and entertaining game. Radio talking heads are crying foul on what was a decisive play late in the game where Auburn’s running back landed on top of the defender and then got up, and with the urging of his entire sideline, continued to run down field getting the Tigers, errrrr War Eagles … errrr whatever their mascot is this week into field goal range. Some of the sports talk analysts are indicating his momentum was stopped, the whistle should have blown etc. I for one did not think he was down when I watched the play live at full speed, but admittedly knew it was close.

Overall a great job done by the Big X officiating crew last night. Of all the plays that were reviewed the only one that they got incorrect and over-turned was the last long run and they corrected the call and placed the ball at the ½ yard line after reviewing that the runners knee was indeed down.

I totally missed the memo that indicated that the Oregon Ducks have changed their official school colors from Green and Gold to Black, Gray, White and Highlight Marker Yellow. Seriously Nike, those are the 2nd worst uniforms behind the Mustard Yellow and Mud colored Denver Broncos throwback uniforms. If this keeps up I fear we will see Notre Dame come out sporting Seafoam Green with Candy Apple Red and Electric Blue highlights around the jersey name and numbers.

Might as well look forward to August and the new rankings and I want to beat everyone to the punch, so here is my Top 5 to start 2011

1. Oklahoma – They seriously underachieved this year and get Broyles back along with an improved defense and offense.
2. Alabama – No Mark Ingram….won’t matter
3. Wisconsin – Big 10 will be soft next year, and thuh tattoo-oh state has to sit main players for 5 games
4. Oregon – The ducks and their horrific uniforms continue to rule the weak Pac 10 errrrr 12
5. South Carolina – Lattimore for Heisman!

Stay Class San Diego!

After several weeks off for the holidays, I am establishing my goals for the year 2011. These are not resolutions, those are far too easy to break or forget about sometime around the first of May. The goals that I wish to identify involve writing and getting the written word distributed to as many people as possible. I truly believe that our culture is enlivened through writing, bringing the past into focus, exploring the myriad of possibilities and eventually guiding the development of the future. Fiction or not, reality or fantasy, all written works stir imagination and thought.

With that in mind, I am embarking the recording of my first full length novel, now a full year old and no longer being edited. I should have that effort completed by spring. I am going to complete my second novel by the end of summer. I will participate again in the National Novel Writing Month in November. These are three very ambitious goals for one year. I hope that all of the aspiring writers out there establish similar challenging goals.

In addition to my own personal work, I have the opportunity to assist in the distribution of a pair of existing books. The chance to review and offer judgment on another author’s works is both exhilarating and daunting. The books that I am referring to were written by Brett Garrett. They are studies of the Celtic knots carved into crosses and other stone in the British Isles. Both of these books are available for sale as hard copy books at the Hyrax Publications store  under the printed books section (you can always access the store via the tab in the navigation menu).

The first volume, Celtic Knots: Exploring with J Romilly Allen, Method and Matrix, explores the stones and crosses in Wales. Brett systematically models the various knots, to validate and compare them. There are several designs that are repeated across many stones while others are unique. The models expose the fact that the knots are not a single thread, but can be two, three or even more. Additionally, all of the knots can be ‘tied’ using cordage, suggesting that the stone renditions are a more durable representation of knotting practiced on an every day basis.

This volume is beautifully annotated with color graphics and pictures taken by the author. It was originally published in 2007 and has only a limited number of copies available.

The second volume, Celtic Knots with & beyond J Romilly Allen, contains all of the technical information of the first volume expanded to include stone work from Scotland, Ireland and England. The additional works re-emphasize the original premise and provide additional beautiful examples of the art of Celtic knotting.

This volume is printed in a larger format and is in shades of grey (keeping the cost down). More models and more photographs fill the additional space. Both works take the study of these stone artifacts beyond the conclusions of the 1950s. The reality of the stones is explored separate from modern mysticism, allowing the systematic discovery of the purpose and meaning of the knots and possibly bringing us closer to the people who carved them.

Since Knotting is a highly visual art, an audio version of the books does not seem feasible for now, however, Brett will be making her models and various knot work available in electronic format in the near future.

[Kosmo’s note: This is the first time Hyrax Publications will be involved in the sale of printed books, although the store has offered eBooks (fiction and non-fiction) and audio books for quite some time.  At some point in the future, we may work with other authors who are seeking a place to sell their books.  While Brett Garrett’s books can be found other places on the internet, I think you’ll find our prices quite competitive.  A glance at Amazon finds Celtic Knots: Exploring with J Romilly Allen, Method and Matrix priced at $104.44 for a new copy and $49.50 for a used copy this morning … compare that the the $29.98 cost at our store.]

I like many others of both sides of the political spectrum are saddened by the events Saturday in Tucson, AZ, where thirteen people were wounded and six were killed at a political event for Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. While I do truly believe their sentiment at the results of this incident, the deaths of Gabe Zimmerman, John Roll, Dorthy Murray, Dorwin Stoddard, Phyllis Scheck and nine year old Christina Greene are clearly blood on the hands of the the political atmosphere created by the teabaggers, nurtured and encouraged by the Republican Party, publicized on its own “news” network and carried out by nutcases like 22 year old Jared Loughner.

Sarah Palin didn’t pull the trigger but she did put Giffords in her cross hairs as a target that her supporters needed to take out. (WINK)

Jesse Kelly, Giffords opponent in this past election didn’t pull the trigger. However he did have his supporters taking aim and shooting at pictures of her to help them practice taking her out. Kelly said Saturday that you can’t make any possible connection between the two things. Nope can’t find any connection at all between you wanting people to practice shooting at the Congresswoman to take her out and someone shooting her not in practice. Nah, no way at all. Give me a break. 

Is this the kind of Second Amendment remedy you were looking for Sharon Angle? The tea party candidate did lose the election to Giffords after all.

Isn’t a little revolution every now and then a good thing and we need to fight to take our country back. Michelle Bachman, that is what you wanted right?

The examples of the incitement and nurturing of the rhetoric by the politicians on the right as well as their supporters, that would lead to this are endless. Outside of her opponent literally having people practice shooting at her, the examples I give here are pretty anecdotal. They do prove a point though, hatred breeds violence and your followers will practice what you preach so you might want to tone it down a notch. This was stated by many over and over again during this past election cycle. To bad it took an event like this happening for the right to finally wake up and realize that maybe they might just be a smart idea.

Guess it seems to be working, Republicans have suspended the vote on their pointless vote on repealing that Job Killing Healthcare (that those evil, socialist, want to kill your grandma, gonna take your guns and religion Democrats brought upon you) Bill, that just the day before was too important to allow for any debate or amendments to. Guess its better late than never to decide to return sanity to the party.

Walter West popped open a fresh can of Pringles and plopped down into his chair in the oval office. It was nearly 10 o’clock in the morning, and the day had already presented him with a fresh batch of challenges. The reporters who had been so kind to him when he took office two short years ago had turned into barracudas, peppering him with difficult questions. Everyone seemed to want to gain instant fame for making the president fall flat on his face.

West’s proposed budget was dying a slow death in congress. He knew that the American people were in strong support of the budget, but business-as-usual in Washington was resulting in additional appropriations for pet projects. In its current form, the bill had more pork than a slaughterhouse. West sighed at the corruption that oozed out of every congressional orifice.

It was not the reporters nor the congressional weasels that had West at wit’s end this morning. It was, instead, a small issue of foreign policy. Today, he must choose to side with either France or Canada in a testy dispute.

“Charles,” he called out to a passing aide, “come help me with something.” His assistant quickly came over to his desk. When the president laid out the problem, young Charles was sitting on the fence.

“You could make a strong case either way, Mr. President. I really think this is a decision you’re going to have to grapple with on your own.”

“I feared as much. And Charles, you can call me Walter.”

“Yes, Mr. President,” replied the aide as he exited the office and raced off to slay another dragon for the administration.

At noon, the President enjoyed fried chicken with a group of war veterans. He posed his question to a quartet of vets. Two of them sided with France and two of them with Canada.

At two o’clock, West had a conference call with some of the movers and shakers on Capitol Hill. Pass the original version of the budget bill, he urged. They refused to capitulate to his request, insisting that their constituents demanded that they bring home the bacon to their home states. West hung up the phone and cursed the congressional nitwits silently.

In the late afternoon, West signed two bills into law. He smiled as he posed with supporters of the bills – but all the time was still wrestling with the issue of France and Canada. The end of the day had arrived, and the time for a decision was at hand.

West retired to the private residence. By the time Sam and Katie arrived home, the decision had been made.

“Daddy!” exclaimed his daughter. “French toast for supper. Yay!”

West smiled down at his crestfallen son. “Don’t worry, Sam. I’ll make the Canadian bacon pizza tomorrow.”