The SoapBoxers

My wife recently bought an item on eBay.  She has purchased a number of this type of item in the past.  This particular transaction wasn’t particularly noteworthy, aside from the fact that the seller shipped the item in a normal envelope, in contracts to most of the other sellers who had used some sort of padded envelope.

Since she had no real positive or negative feelings about the transactions, she left a “neutral” feedback.  At this point, the seller began a string of multiple emails.  At first the seller tried to strong arm her into changing the feedback to positive or removing in entirely.  When my wife refused, the seller accused her of trying to ruin the seller’s business.  (Remember, this was just a neutral feedback, not a negative).  The seller even mentioned that the two other times a buyer had given her neutral feedback, she had gotten the buyer to retract the feedback.  Yes, she actually took pride in bullying someone into removing honest feedback.

A key point to consider is that the purpose of eBay feedback is to provide accurate information about the seller (or buyer).  The purpose is not to boost the seller’s feedback count to some sky-high number.  The feedback my wife left was accurate and reflected her neutral feeling about the transaction.

The seller was quite rude in her response and it was very clear that she had no desire to improve the experience of future buyers – she simply wanted more positive feedbacks.  In the process of overzealously protecting her feedback score, she has managed to alienate a customer and ensure that my wife never buys another item from her.  The seller wasted significant time actively cutting off a source of future revenue.

Can you imagine this scenario unfolding in the brick-and-mortar world?  Imagine that a food critic eats at a restaurant and rates the establishment as “average.”  Do you think the restaurant owner would use the review to try to improve the experience for future customers or would they instead waste valuable time browbeating the writer in an effort to get the writer to retract the review?  The restaurant that focuses of pleasing the customer is going to be more successful in the long run.  The restaurant who attacks the writer will only ensure that the critic doesn’t give them a second chance.

This seller –and some others on eBay – aren’t seeing the forest for the trees.  If your feedback isn’t what you think it should be, don’t blame the feedback.  Instead, take a look at closer look at how you are doing business.  While you may think that your communication, shipping time, packaging, and fees are exceptional, this might not be the case.  You may be lagging behind your competitors.

In closing, I’d like to point out that I’m not trying to paint all eBay sellers with the same brush.  In general, eBay sellers are great.  I’ve personally bought tons of stuff over eBay and have had very few transactions that weren’t positive experience.  This particular seller is definitely the exception and not the rule.

I have previously mentioned that I will be entering the 2011 Iowa Short Fiction Contest.  Today, I throw down the gauntlet and ask you, the readers, to join me in this challenge.  I know that we have writers in our midst – so join me in this plunge.

You can read all of the details here, but these are the basics:

• Submissions are accepted between August 1 and September 30, 2010
• Submissions must be a 150+ page (typed, double spaced) collection of short stories.  Stories that have previously been published in periodicals or in self-published works are acceptable.
• There are no reading fees or fees of any sort.  Your only out-of-pocket costs are printing and shipping.  (Emailed submissions are not accepted).
• The contest is open to US residents, as well as non-Americans who are writing in English.  However, current students at the University of Iowa are not eligible.

Note: this is my paraphrased version of the rules, and not the official version.

What happens if you win?  You get your book published, and you’re able to claim a prestigious award.

I need to get going on my latest longer story, Hollywood. Once that story is completed, I’ll begin the work of compiling my entry for the contest.  While 150 pages sounds like a lot, it should entailed around 40,000 words, which I should be able to meet with just the stories I have written in the last 15 months or so.  Happily, I should have enough content that I should be able to pick and choose the stories I want to include, instead of cramming in every last story in an effort to get to 151 pages.

For several months, I have been kicked around possible titles.  Since my writing covers a multitude of different topics, most of the titles have been some sort of “stew” variant.  Then, last night, it hit me – Mountains, Meadows, Ravines, and Chasms.  The mountains represent the stories that detail the very high points in life; the chasms represent the low points, and the meadows and ravines the stories that are more neutral.  I doubt that this will be the final version of the title, but it’s the working title for right now.

What are my odds of actually winning the contest?  Not particularly good.  I’d actually be pretty shocked if the debut submission of my work won an award like this.  However, the actual submission is a goal within itself.  Not only have I been forced to produce enough fiction to meet the minimum requirements, but I’ll also have to act as an editor and separate the wheat from the chaff.  I think that some of my stories are pretty good, but I’ll be competing against some writers who are seasoned veterans – including writers who have frequently been published in large periodicals.

However, as the saying goes, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”  In a few shorts months, I’ll be printing out my manuscript and sending it off.  Who among you is with me?  (Martin Kelly, are you reading this?)

I’m not a very fashion-oriented person.  Spend a short bit of time with me and you’ll quickly discover that comfort trumps style.  While I CAN dress up in a shirt and tie when the situation warrants, I strongly prefer jeans, a t-shirt, and a pair of my trust Adidas running shoes.  (Why Adidas?  Because they seems to be lighter than competing brands, and light = good).

My taste in jeans is Wrangler relaxed fit.  I’ve tried other brands, but they just don’t seem to fit as well.  Whenever I need a new pair or two, I pull up WalMart.com and order the requisite number in 30W X 34L size.  The size is odd enough that it’s darn near impossible to find in a brick and mortar store.

However, I digress.   While jeans and shoes are comfortable, they don’t exhibit the personality of t-shirts.  I have dozens and dozens of t-shirts.  I’ll share some of my favorites with you.

The Rockies Collection – I have a wide array of Rockies shirts.  There’s my Troy Tulowitzki jersey shirt, two identical Todd Helton jersey shirts (one much more worn than the others), the 2007 National League Champions shirts, and of course the one emblazoned with the slogan “Baseball With an Altitude” (which is often misread as “attitude”).  I see out interesting and unusual Rockies shirts.

The Non-Rockies Baseball Collection – Although I am a Rockies fan, I am first a fan of the sport of baseball.  I just ordered a brand new Matt Holliday Cardinals jersey shirt (though Holliday obviously has a Rockies connection).  I have a Greg Maddux t-shirt that is around 15 years old.  A favorite shirt of mine shows logos of all the minor league teams at the time (waiting for an update to this great shirt).  I also have a Hall of Fame shirt from my trip to Cooperstown in 2002.  My “Tools of the Trade” shirt has become so worn and faded that it had to be removed from the rotation.  Much sadness.

The Cyclone Collection – I’m a proud alum and fan of Iowa State University.  In addition to a sufficient number of football and basketball shirts, I also have an Iowa State Wrestling shirt.  The collection is rounded out with several shirts advertising the university itself.

The Vikings Collection (on temporary hold) – My Vikings shirts have been temporarily mothballed until Brett Favre goes away for good.  A couple of my favorite Vikings shirts are my Randy Moss jersey (technically not a t-shirt, I know).  I remain a big Moss fan, and actually purchased the jersey after he was traded to Oakland (at a very steep discount).  I also wear my Michael Bennett jersey t-shirt from time to time.

The Fun Collection – I also have some interesting and offbeat shirts.  There’s my “Work Sucks – I’m Going to the Mountains” shirt purchased on a trip toRocky Mountain National Park in Colorado.  There’s my USA Luge shirt, of course.  I also have a shirt from the St. Louis Arch showing the arch with a timeline hidden in the details of the graphic.  I’m not a big fan of Hard Rock Cafe, but my shirt from the Cafe in Niagara Falls Canada is pretty cool – it features the Falls on the back.

I really need to mend my shirt from Disney’s Animal Kingdom – it features Winnie the Pooh peering through a magnifying glass and mistaking actual tiger for his friend Tigger.  I’m a fan of Pooh, and tigers are my second favorite animal (dinosaurs being my favorite), so this is a natural fit.  Continuing with the animal theme are t-shirts from a couple of zoos (I love zoos).  My shirt from the Tulsa Zoo features pictures of a lot of big cats.  My shirt from the Niabi Zoo in the Quad Cities shows a couple of zebras using paint brushes to add stripes to other animals.  I also have a long sleeved penguin shirt – the penguin has his “hands” over his ears – with the caption “Not Listening”.

The first customer at the Hyrax Publication Store today will get their entire purchase price refunded.  Yep, your purchase could be 100% free!

Even if you’re not the lucky first customer, I’m confident that you’ll find the prices quite reasonable.

If I had a million dollars, I’d be rich.

Well, that’s what Barenaked Ladies would have you believe. In actuality, a million bucks doesn’t stretch as far as it once did.

If you were indeed rich, how would you spend the money?

First, I’ll set down a few rules.

First, let’s assume that you have already donated a sizeable chunk to charities and taken care of your family.

Second, let’s make these without any thought as to what your spouse or kids would think of the decision.

Yes, this is a nice, breezy little “we can always dream” article.

Where to Live

I’d definitely want two homes. I’d want a summer home in the Florida Keys. I like the laid back atmosphere in the Keys, love being surrounded by water (which is odd, considering that I can’t swim), and most importantly, I intensely dislike cold weather. Lay under a palm tree reading a book and listening to Jimmy Buffett. Yeah, that’s the life.

Summers would be spent in the mountains of Colorado. Sadly, I’ve only been to the mountains once, but I absolutely love them. I’d spend lots of time hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park and shooting the wildlife and scenery with my digital camera.

Oh, and Colorado has one distinct advantage over other locations – it also happens to be the home of my favorite baseball team. I’d plunk down the cash for season tickets right behind home plate. None of those fancy skyboxes for me – I want to be able to hear that batter arguing with the umpire.

The House

There is one aspect to my dream home that has never wavered over the years – the presence of a large library. When I say large, I mean something that would rival the libraries in some small towns. Not only do I love to read, but I’d happily lend tomes to visitors. The library would have a media center with a couple of high end Power Macs.

I’d definitely want to grounds to be landscaped with synthetic turf in order to minimize the maintenance. They make some very realistic synthetic turfs these days. Grass is overrated.

The rest of the details are relatively unimportant.

The Cars

Lamborgini? Porsche? Mercedes Benz? Nah, just keep a Ford Taurus in the garage and I’ll be happy. My first car was a Taurus (had 96,000 miles when I bought it), as is every car I have bought since.

Could I spend lots more on a fancier car? Sure. But I see a car as a way to get from point A to point B. If I’m going to waste a lot of money, it’s certain not going to be on a luxury car.

Hobbies

What would I do with my spare time? Well, as mentioned above, I would read, hike, watch baseball, and listen to Jimmy Buffett. But I’d do other things, too, right?

I’d definitely try to make the cut for Jeopardy. I don’t watch a lot of TV – and even fewer game shows – but Jeopardy has been a longtime favorite of mine. I wouldn’t necessarily have to win – competing would be enough fun.

On there is one other thing. I want to go into space. Not just as a tourist, mind you. I want to take a space walk – tethered to civilization by just a thing line. I can only imagine the thrill this must give astronauts. The only downside is that I’m not much of a handyman, and most spacewalks involve fixing some sort of equipment.

Maybe I could hold the ladder for the other guy.

What would you do if YOU were suddenly rich?

Sometimes you start by jamming in someone else’s garage

In this case, The Soap Boxers first got its start in the Google garage, on BlogSpot.  Then Lazy Man offered one of the stalls of his garage and allowed us to customize our address.  Lazy Man also lends us tools and offers suggestions on how to improve the sound of the band.

Some bloggers rocket to fame American Idol style, some pay their dues for years

Baker of ManVsDebt became an overnight sensation in just a few months (although, to his credit, he had been an active commenter on other people’s blogs for years and poured a ton of effort into his blog once it was launched).  Other bloggers (such as your dear old kosmo) slog away month after month with just a small fraction of the audience the superstars attract.  Sometimes, like in music, this is simply a matter of paying your dues, and fame will be just around the corner.

Being an opening act can open doors

Many of the hottest acts in music started out as the opening act for other musicians.  This gave them exposure to larger audience and allowed them to attract a larger fan base.  The blogospheric equivalent of this is writing guest articles for bigger blogs.  I’ve been pitching my ideas to other bloggers in an attempt to get an opening act.  I’ve gotten some great opportunities on some blogs (Lazy Man and Money, 40Tech, Life, Laughs, and Lemmings, World’s Strongest Librarian) and continue to pursue other gigs.

Fitting into a genre is the surest way to gain fans

There are many different genres (niches) for bloggers to fit into.  Writing content that easily fits into one niche allows a blogger to interact with other bloggers who write on similar content.  There tends to be a community of readers who follow blogs of a particular niche, and interacting with other bloggers in those niches gets someone noticed.  Nonetheless, some blogs (such as your beloved Casual Observer) rebel, refusing to simply scratch a niche.

You need original music to hit it big

You’re not going to sell gold records doing covers of Hotel California.  Likewise, you can’t get to the top just by repeating the same topics that everyone else is talking about in their blogs – you have to strike out on your own with some truly original content.

Hooray!  After a few fits and starts, the first audio story is available in the store!  We expect to add stories as a regular basis, and within the next two months, we anticipate having the majority of the fiction catalog available.

The first story is Tale of the Wolf.  The audio is not perfect, since I’m an amateur making his first attempt at an audio version of a story.  The quality should improve as we move along.

You can download the MP3 for 40 cents in the Hyrax Publications Store.

thank you for your support.

Monetizing

OK, I swear, this is the last article in a long time that will relate to the finances of the site (although I may announce new store offerings occasionally).

I’ve been chasing the dime a bit lately.  After nearly 450 articles, the site really hasn’t produced much revenue.  Part of the reason for this has been due to the conscious decision to avoid showing ads to regular visitors.  This will change slightly in the future.  We will still block the large Adsense ads from being displayed to regular visitors.  However, we will have some smaller ads in the sidebars.  We already have two sponsors – Irrational Family and Lazy Man and Money.  I encourage you to visit these blogs to see what they have to offer.  More information on advertising can be found here.

We also launched a store, with the help of the free Zen Cart software (reviewed yesterday, right here!).  This was my first experience dealing with shopping cart software.  Even with my background in IT, it wasn’t completely intuitive, but I was able to get answer from other folks on the internet, and the store is basically configured the way I like it now.  My fiction eBooks (PDF format) are available for purchase ($3.65 for volumes 1 or 2, $1.95 for volume 3).

There is also a tip jar for the staff writers.  I stress that there is absolutely no obligation to donate.  If you don’t donate, you will continue to get all of the features of The Soap Boxers.  If you do choose to donate, simply place the writer in your cart and change the quantity to reflect the amount of your tip, in full dollars.  If the writer doesn’t fit in your cart, I’d suggest a fireman’s carry.

We will also be adding audio versions of the stories!  I haven’t finalized details, but my thought is that audio versions of the smaller stories will be 50 cents and that the 10,000 word stories will be $4.  In between stories (such as 2-3 part stories) will be somewhere in the middle (probably $1).

We will be modifying the current loyalty discount program on April 1.  Regular visitors  should click the tab just to the right of “Home” in the blue bar for details.  RSS readers should click the eBook link in the RSS feed signature for details.

We will also have an unlimited annual pass.    This will allow downloading of any the PDF eBooks as well as audio books.  Currrently, we have about 45 written stories in our collection.  Over the course of the next 2-3 months, these will be converted to audio.  For a limited time, the price of the annual pass will be set at $9.  Additionally, these passes will be good for 15 months, rather than 12! This is less than the combined cost of the three eBooks – and will also allow you access to unlimited audio stories as they become available.  Essentially, you’re buying the PDFs and getting the MP3s (as well as future PDFs) for free.  Once we have twenty audio stories online, this offer will disappear – so take advantage now.

We also expect to have combo packs for sports and crime – allowing you to download several audio stories for one low price.

I’m also looking for readers for the audio versions.  I’m not able to offer any cash up front, but will pay 30% of gross sales.  This means that it’s unlikely that you’ll get rich from this work, but if a story is reasonably popular, you might make a few bucks and gain some exposure.  If you’re a longtime reader of The Soap Boxers, perhaps you’d be interested in donating a bit of your time to read a few stories, rather than leaving a cash tip.  (Note: if you choose to donate your time, the 30% share will be split amongst the other writers of The Soap Boxers).  I’m guessing that you can knock out a story in fifteen minutes.

I have a degree in accounting, so rest assured that annual passes will be properly allocated (based on a weighted average of the cost of the items downloaded by annual pass purchasers) and that everyone will receive their fair share of the annual pass fee.

I’m looking for an assortment of voices and would like to match voices to stories.  If you have a bubbly voice, you’ll get an upbeat story.  If you have a gruff voice, someone will probably die in your story.  You do need to have the ability to create a good quality audio recording.  MP3 is best, but I can work with some other formats, if necessary.  unfortunately, I don’t have the free time necessary to provide tech support.  I provide everything else – the original story, storefront, payment processing, etc.

If you’re interested in lending your voice, contact me at kosmo@observingcasually.com

Olympics

We have dispatched a reporter to Vancouver to cover some of the happenings to the Olympics.  OK, maybe we found out about Joe Neuman’s trip and asked him to provide some coverage for The Soap Boxers while he is there.  You can also follow Joe on twitter.  We may try to do more of this sort of thing in the future – piggybacking on the exciting lives of others.

Random thoughts

I’ve been running low on sleep lately 🙁

Pitchers and catchers have reported to Spring Training

I was really bummed by Erin Hamlin’s poor performance at the Olympics.

This looks nifty diamond when I’m composing in WordPress, but is a bunch of jumbled paragraphs to you

Don’t buy gold coins, silver coins, or “state dollar bills” from magazine or TV ads.  The have negligible value to collectors.

Sarah Palin and The Family Guy are having a spat.  Interestingly, both part of the Fox family.

There may be an upcoming recall of Toyota Corollas.  Not a good year for Toyota so far.

I’m glad that Tiger Woods is sorry.  It would be disturbing if he wasn’t sorry.

Dude, that was quite the crash in the Super G.

If you’re a regular visitor, you’re seeing a menu option for “Free Stuff” at the top (in the blue bar).  Check this out for a free coupon code to use in the store.  This special deal is only available for regular visitors.

If you’re using an RSS reader, clicking on the “Free …” link at the bottom of this article will display the code for you.

OK, so there’s really just one small change.  We now have a store.  What’s inside the store?

• You now have the ability to leave a tip for your favorite writer(s).  This is, of course, optional.  If you choose to leave a tip, thank you very much.  If you don’t, that’s OK – you’ll continue to enjoy all future articles at The Soap Boxers.  To leave a tip, simply add your favorite writer(s) to your cart, and change the quantity to reflect the amount of the tip (quantity of 3 = $3 tip).
• Kosmo’s fiction eBooks are now available for purchase.  Volumes 1 and 2 are $3.65 each, while the shorter volume 3 is $1.95.  Again, this is completely optional.  We do anticipate having great discount coupons in the future to reward our loyal readers.
• The future?  Hopefully some audio books (recordings of the fiction stories).  It will be a little while before these are available.