The SoapBoxers

As an author, it is important to read; a lot. Reading other works broadens your vision and provides examples of both good and bad expression. Reading a wide range of works will also help develop the appropriate attitudes of your characters.

If you place your story in the early seventeen century, you need to have an understanding of what “real” people believed and sought during that time. If you create a crowd of characters to whom “free love” and “equality” were social norms, you fall into the trap of inserting your values or the values of the society in which you live into an inappropriate scheme. Just as setting a story in the late twentieth century with public figures extolling the virtues of slavery would be just plain wrong. That is not to say that such inconsistencies would not create a story in themselves, just that period writing should be consistent.

There are plenty of efforts to suggest that Shakespeare was a women’s rights advocate. There is no real evidence to support that he actually was, but his writings transposed to the 1970’s could be used to support the efforts of modern women. We all insert our biases into our writing, the true victory is to appreciate the reality of the times we wish to write about.

One of the easiest themes to use is the future. With the future as your background, you can expound on any philosophy or social norm that you desire. The future can be any ideal that you want. The pitfall in this area is to eliminate any consequences; creating utopias. Life shows that there is no universal utopia. This is not so say that such conditions cannot be met, just that with any group of people, there is a struggle for superiority, no matter how petty.

The surest method of keeping within period is to write about your own times. Your story will still be colored by your personal beliefs and the problems of the day, but it will be honest and provide source material for future writers.

Each of us contributes to the whole of literature, regardless of talent or purpose. From the first invention of writing, we started to capture stories and keep them in their original forms. Oral tradition is a fantastic way of keeping a culture together, but when that culture is reduced by catastrophe, natural or man made, much of that tradition can be lost. Writing things down does not insure that it will endure, just as much was lost with the burning of the library at Alexandria, or the loss of any work for that matter. Not all works are protected, but all impact the works that follow. All of us who have the opportunity to compose have continued to contribute to the whole. Because of this influence we have the responsibility to be as diligent as possible in all of our efforts.

I was mildly amused at Dilbert when it came out and started to get popular back in the early 90’s. I was just finishing high school and starting college, and I couldn’t really fathom how such scenarios could possibly exist in a professional IT environment. Despite my having a degree in music, the vast bulk of my adult life has been spent with me having a job in IT, the result of me and student teaching not really getting along. Many, many times over has Dilbert proven that yes, such ridiculous scenarios and characters do have a basis in real life.

You say Dilbert’s iconic “pointy-haired” boss couldn’t possibly exist in real life, right? Well, I’ve had just about every kind of boss – amazing ones, highly technical ones, ones with no technical skill, and horrible ones. Yes, I’ve even had a boss with minimal technical skill and almost no concept of managing people in a professional environment. As I’ve been told (but was always too apprehensive to ask him directly) he was a clerk in the US Army and then got a degree in library science. You’d think this would lead him to have good organizational skills, something like Radar from M.A.S.H. Not even close.

On my first day of work with this boss, I was busy customizing my PC – you know, adding useful utilities and widgets that systems admin types like me find handy. New boss – we’ll call him “Boss G” – comes over and sets 2 pieces of printed paper on my desk, stapled neatly in the upper left hand corner. Thinking that it’s more paperwork for me to sign or work policy that I need to review I looked up at him and asked, “what’s this?”

“That’s a Magic ticket,” he replied, referring to Support Magic, our helpdesk incident management tracking system. I had used that exact system at my previous job for over 4 years and had not once seen a printout of it – it runs off an SQL database that meticulously tracks all aspects of incidents/tickets and has a nice web interface so that any level of support staff could enter in work details, asset tracking, work flow, etc.

He must have seen the bewildered look on my face as I glanced over the two stapled pieces of paper, because he then gave me rudimentary instructions on what to do: “Finish the work, then write your solution down on the back page and bring it back to me.”

I was completely dumbfounded. The whole purpose of a $50,000 plus software package like Support Magic or Remedy was to allow all level of tech staff to access and share information as they perform work. Printing the tickets and then giving them to your tech staff so they can hand write the steps they took in troubleshooting/solving an issue is like buying a really nice new car so you and your friends can push it around the block. I said to him, “I’ve used Support Magic extensively, I helped test and implement it at my last job. I’m used to accessing the system directly and managing any tickets assigned to me.” I didn’t even add this was at my job at a Wall Street firm where I worked for 5 years, where every last thing needs to be completed 10 minutes ago and seconds can literally translate into thousands of dollars lost.

Boss G’s normally stoic expression was marred by just a slight twitch of his mouth, and following a pause of 4 or 5 seconds he replied sternly, “I’m the only one in the group who accesses it here and that’s how we do things.” Immediately after the last word left his mouth he had turned and walked away from me.

I could hear snickering in the cubical behind me, and a co-worker stepped out and said, “Dude, you just got your first dose of Boss G.” I wanted to say something, but was so befuddled at this complete new level of inefficiency that my mouth just hung there, slightly open. My co-worker continued, “The real kicker is after you write everything out on that paper and bring it back to him, he reads it and tosses it in recycling. He doesn’t even enter anything you wrote in the Support Magic database.”

If confused exasperation were explosive force, my head would have burst at a megaton level. Over the next 8 and 1/2 years I would learn that barely scratched the surface of the dysfunctionality of where I worked. My torment is your gain, dear readers, I hope writing about it is as cathartic for me as it is amusing for you.

Today I’m re-running one of my favorite vintage stories.  This story of triumph over adversity originally ran on July 17, 2009.  You can find this, and dozens of other older stories, in the Kindle version of Mountains, Meadows, and Chasms.  Now, on with the story …

 

Heidi rolled onto her stomach.  The weekend was off to a great start.  It was great to get away for a weekend with the girls – no guys allowed.  Lindsey’s uncle loaned them the use of the sprawling old beach house for the weekend.  Heidi, Lindsey, and Katie were working diligently on their tans.  After a rough few months, it was precisely what the doctor ordered for Heidi.

After Heidi’s buns were lightly toasted, she felt the ocean call to her.  She felt to urge to go for a swim.

“Hey,” she called out to the girls.  “Is anyone up for a swim?”

“Not me,” replied Katie.

“Mmrumph zstek,” said Lindsey, before resuming her snoring.

“OK, you’re missing out,” proclaimed Heidi.

It took Heidi a few minutes to locate her swim suit.  She slipped into the suit and raced toward the water.  Heidi waded through the water until it was a bit above her waist, and then she started to swim out toward the distant shore of the wide blue ocean.  Her lithe body sliced through the waves.  The swim in the salt water was refreshing.  Heidi enjoyed being in the midst of the ocean’s biosphere, with a myriad of fish species swimming around her.

When Heidi finally decided to turn back toward shore, she realized that she had swum quite far out into the ocean.  It was going to take a lot of time to get back to the shore, and she was more tired than she had realized.

Fifteen minutes after she began to swim back, Heidi felt herself go completely numb.  Ahead of her, she saw the dorsal fin of a small hammerhead shark.  She began to swim north to circle around the shark, but the shark seemed to sense her and it moved in the same direction.  She was blocked from the shore by the killer.

Heidi was unsure what to do.  She tried to move to the south, but once again the shark followed.  The shark was clearly stalking her.  Heidi had become the prey.  The shark would be more than happy to trail her back and forth and she tried to evade it.  It knew that eventually, Heidi would become tired.  At this point, she would become shark food.

Heidi was a fighter, and she was not about to give in without a fight.  She decided to become the aggressor.  She swam toward the shark.  When she was next to the shark, she attacked it with a barrage of punches and kicks, and then swam quickly away from the shark and toward the shoreline.  The shark was momentarily stunned, but quickly regained its strength and began to pursue Heidi once again.

Heidi and the shark continued this deadly game of cat and mouse.  Each time, Heidi was able to stun the shark for a short while and swim a short distance closer to shore.  The impact of her blows was lessening, however.  The shoreline was still very distant, and her energy was waning.  She simply didn’t have the strength to hold her killer at bay.

Then, in the distance, she saw it.  Something that she had encountered earlier.  If she could make it that far, she might be able to break free from the shark.

When the shark closed in on her, Heidi used nearly every ounce of strength within her to unleash a tremendous attack upon the animal.  She quickly raced away, swimming toward her target as fast as her damaged body would carry her.  As she closed in on the school of fish, she could sense the hammerhead closing in on her, mere feet away.  She felt the welcome disturbances in the water, as the small fish swam around her.

The hammerhead had a choice to make.  He could continue to track Heidi, or he could stop here and have a feeding frenzy within the large school of fish.  Heidi knew that this was not a forgone conclusion.  The fish were an easier target, because they would not fight back as violently as she did.  On the other hand, she knew the shark could sense the lessening of her strength, and her sheer human size made her a much larger meal.

As the shark took a second to ponder the situation, Heidi poured every last bit of strength into her swimming and put a bit more distance between her and the shark.  When her energy left her, she took a break from swimming and focused on simply staying afloat.  She looked over her shoulder and saw that the shark was still violently attacking the defenseless fish within the school.  Heidi felt guilty for leading the shark into the school and causing the slaughter of the fish.  However, she realized that the death of those fish meant that she would live to see another day.

The sun was dying in the west when Heidi finally struggled to shore.  She allowed her body to be dumped upon the beach by the tide.  She lay on the beach for several minutes before willing herself to her feet and struggling up toward the beach house.

Personal Responsibility

My husband and I just found out our rent is going up…again. A two bedroom apartment is now going to cost us over $1,000 a month. Yes, to rent. I look at myself and where I am in my life (30 years old, three kids) and think, “Why don’t I have a house yet?” and then I’m reminded I got a bit of a late start in my married life.

You see, one month after my husband and I got married, he got his deployment orders to Iraq. We already had a toddler (we did things a bit “out of order”) and were in our mid twenties. With his service in the Army, we didn’t really want to buy at that time because he had been talking about going active duty (he was in the reserves). So the year he was in Iraq, that accounts for one more year of my mid-late twenties.

EVERYONE was buying houses then. Even those who didn’t qualify. I had been saving money for a decent down payment, even though I knew we would qualify for a VA loan. And yes, I could have bought a house while he was overseas, but I didn’t think that would be fair to him.

Plus, I had a bit of mortgage experience under my belt. The balloon and adjustable rate mortgages everyone was getting was something I knew I couldn’t do. Sure, we could afford $800 a month now, but in a few years when the payments go up to $2000? No.

Some of my friends got in to some really, really nice houses. REALLY nice. Meanwhile, we continued to rent. Some of my friends are still in some really, really nice houses. And some of my friends aren’t paying their mortgage…because they can’t afford it. All too often I hear, “it takes a year for them to foreclose on us, so what’s the point.” So they’re living in their really really nice house, driving a car that the house payments could go in to (again, really, really nice) and not having to clip coupons.

My husband and I, on the other hand, are having to rent. Our rent is going up and the crazy thing about it all, if we don’t pay our rent for one month, we’re homeless. Is that fair?

We decided to focus on the mistakes we made in our early 20’s (read: credit cards) and are two months from having them ALL paid off. We no longer have a car loan as we finished paying it off last year. Yes, our little Corolla is a little cramped in the back with three car seats across and my mini-van was built before I even had a permit (1993) but we own them. They’re bought and paid for. No car debt.

On my way to a school board meeting (to discuss the barn), I drove past a house that was for sale and fell in love. We walked through it yesterday and were amazed. It. Was. PERFECT. 4 bedrooms, 1.5 baths, a big backyard and the tree in the back even had a tree house!!

So we’ve started the pre-approval process and we’re learning quick that our “smart” decision to close our credit card accounts and pay them off, wasn’t so smart. We don’t have any debt (except for student loans) and that’s an issue? No debt, in my mind, is a good thing.

I feel like I’ve been punished for making decisions that I thought were right. Obviously if we can and do make a rent payment over 900 (and going up) a month, we can afford a house payment of the same. It is frustrating learning that my decision to know what I could and couldn’t afford, and being responsible is now coming back to bite me in the—well, you know.

The system is skewed. People should be rewarded for personal responsibility, not punished. I’m not saying this whole effort has made me lose that lesson, either. Come hell or high water, I’m still going to hold myself personally responsible for my decisions. Which is another reason why we had a toddler at our wedding. We chose to have pre-marital sex, conceived a child and had him. It wasn’t his fault. It was our choice. And he’s going to kindergarten next year.

I just hope that he can attend the kindergarten that is in our backyard (yes, the dream house back yard faces the playground to an elementary school).

And I’m teaching my children the same lessons. You MUST be responsible for your actions, your choices and yourself. In my mind, that’s good parenting. No matter what the mortgage system says.

I consider SVB over at The Digerati Life to be a friend. I’ve never actually met her in person, but we have a lot of interests in common (perhaps most notably a fascination with crime and forensics). We chat back and forth over email, and when she recommended a particular book, I gave it serious consideration, despite having a large backlog of unread books in my library.

The book was The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I was aware of the book. It was an international best-seller, and the author, Stieg Larsson, died before the book (and the subsequent sequels) were printed. The circumstances surrounding Larsson’s estate (more about that in a guest article I wrote for SVB) added some intrigue for me. I nabbed a copy at Target for $5.99. Hey, I’ll give it a shot.

Now that I’m finished, I’m happy to report that it was one of the better books I have read in a while. The book has something for everyone – mystery, romance, murder, fraud, family squabbles – and much more. Even better, everyone seemed to use a Mac!

What I liked:

Culture – The book was written by a Swedish author, so I learned some things about Sweden by reading the book. I was barely into the book before I hopped onto the internet to check the value of the Swedish krona in US dollars. I pegged the value at about 16 cents and used this for currency translations. Then I got to the end of the book, where the topic comes upm in the text – the exchange rate being used is just under 10 kronor to the dollar.  Hmm.  I also learned that there is a statute of limitations for murder in Sweden. Avoid getting caught for long enough, and you’re home free. (What??!?!?)

Characters – The girl mentioned in the title is Lisbeth Salander, a young woman who works as a private investigator – putting her hacking skills to good use, She works an irregular schedule and lives an irregular life. She is a victim – or is she?

I’d argue that Lisbeth isn’t even the lead character in the book. Much of the book centers around Mikael Blomkvist, a financial reporter finds himself convicted of libel at the beginning of the book. The magazine that he co-owns is on the brink of ruin – can Blomkvist and his partners avoid financial doom?

That’s the tip of the iceberg. The book contains a rich cast of characters – hackers, lawyers, murders amongst them.

The story – In general, I need to be told an interesting story in order to enjoy a book. This book has a great story. Actually, a few great stories. There’s the story of Lisbeth’s own life, the story of Mikael’s personal and professional life, and thirty five years in the lives of the Vanger family, who are central figures in the plot. Although the threads do cross at times, they are actually separate and distinct stories that could hold up as their own individual novellas.

Verdict – Big thumbs up! I’m going to begin reading the second book in the series (The Girl Who Played With Fire) immediately.

 
 

Normally I write a sports article but Kosmo is going that direction a bit today, so I will focus on a more Kosmoesque topic for Tuesday … Customer Service.

My wife and I recently bought a new car. Well somewhat recently. We picked up the car at the dealership on February 21. The negotiation went well, I haggled enough that we were happy with trade in values and all was agreed upon.

Unfortunately the dealership did not have the color of vehicle that my wife really wanted so they made a trade for the color we were looking from a dealership out of state. They were not exactly sure if the features were all exactly the same as they had two in the color we wanted and they were not sure which would show up in the trade they were making. So we negotiated based on the higher priced vehicle.

The day we picked up the vehicle, we were hit by the manufacturers credit guy. Now I work at a place that has a great credit union with fabulous rates. He also kept trying to sell me warranty and maintenance plans. I had to politely explain no fewer than four times that the reason I keep buying this brand of vehicle is the reliability, I have never had any issues with them.  So basically “no I am not interested in spending more money on a warranty plan”.

The dealership had put in a charge for $600 for gas, detail and dealership accessories on the final sales bill. WTF? I asked you if I needed to detail my old car , and you told me “no”.  I am not paying for gas … I just bought a 30K plus vehicle from you and you did not add anything additional on to my car, so what are you trying to pull here?

After 2 ½ hours at the dealership (we had an appointment to pick up the car) we finally got to drive it home. My wife procrastinated a bit and waited until the last day to title the car, pay taxes, and get her plates. When she showed up at the DMV they politely explained that they did not have her title yet from the dealership. When my wife called the dealership (realize she is still at the DMV at this time) the dealership said, “it was lost a couple of weeks ago in the mail, didn’t anyone call you to tell you”.

After some vented frustration, my wife secured a loaner car from the dealership. A week passes. Nothing. She calls the dealership again. “Looks like it might be 2-3 more weeks before we have it as there is a computer problem with the State of Colorado” (which I think was still code name for – we have no idea where it is but we don’t have it yet for you).

This prompted a visit from Johnny Goodman to the dealership. After I expressed my complete dissatisfaction with the lack of communication and ranted and raved for about an hour, the dealership agreed to pay my first month car payment (only after I basically told them they needed to). I was having a real problem making a car payment on a vehicle I could legally not drive due to a mix up at the dealership which was completely their error, not mine.

Another 3 weeks went by and we finally got the title. My wife is now driving the car. I was called the day she picked up the title by our salesman who indicated he just found out about this a week or so ago (completely a lie here – trust me, everyone in the dealership told him I stopped in to talk to him the night I came in to look for getting my car payment made … I did make a HUGE scene that night so I am quite sure I left a lasting impression) and then he had also contacted my wife and I … but only after we had filled out a less than complimentary survey and the results went from their home office back to the dealership. Why would you respond to a bad survey and not even call to inform a customer that their title had been lost? An answer to this question I will never know or understand.

The worst part of this is the dealership is literally a half of a block from my house. When salesman go outside for a smoke break they could wave to me on my deck of my house. They had 5 phone contact numbers for my wife or myself yet chose to not call us until we initiated to them that there was a problem.

Hopefully those that read this will have better experiences than I, or will go the extra mile in their jobs this next week – realizing that sometimes problems develop a life of their own and just get bigger and bigger. All which could usually be solved by simple a phone call. As we get more technological in our world, the verbal or face to face communication suffers and seems to get worse and worse. Unfortunately this dealership has lost my business for good as I will never buy another car from them. And as an added bonus my wife and I have pretty much told anyone who will listen our story of great customer service.

Until Next time … stay classy Performance Toyota of Lincoln.

Mike Leake arrived at the 2010 Cincinnati Reds Spring Training camp in the shadow of another young pitcher. The other pitcher was a Cuban refugee named Aroldis Champman, who could light up the radar gun at 103 miles per hour. Mike Leake was merely the 2009 first round draft pick of the Reds. All he had done in college was rack up 40 wins against 6 losses during his career at Arizona State. He was a third team all-american as a freshman, second team as a sophomore, and first teamer in his junior year before being drafted by the Reds (more about draft eligibility here.)

Chapman was sent to the minors before the season began, but Leake – who, like many top picks, did not play in the minors after the draft – jumped straight to the big leagues. This was an unusual move, since this starts the clock ticking on a player’s arbitration and free agency (more about that here), but Leake had won a job in the Reds rotation.

Leake started the year strong before shoulder fatigue caught up with him at the end of the year (not uncommon in young pitchers). Leake finished the year with an 8-4 record. His spot on the 2011 roster was not a certainty, but injuries to other pitchers opened the door, and once again Leake was in the rotation to start the season. On Saturday, he allowed two runs in six innings against the Pirates and running his season record to 2-0.

Mike Leake’s star was rising.

On Monday, Mike Leake was arrested. He is accused of shoplifting six shirts from Macy’s. Total cost of the six American Rag t-shirts? $59.88 (you can get shirts for less than $10 at Macy’s?). While Leake is in the pre-arbitration phase of his major league service , he’s still making a healthy $425,00 this year (are athletes overpaid?) – and I would hope he still had a few bucks left from the $2.3 million signing bonus he got in 2009.

I really struggle with these types of stories. When Leake become arbitration eligible after the 2012 season, the Reds could raise this as an issue during the hearing. It could very well cost Leake hundreds of thousands of dollars. Already, Leake’s reputation has suffered more than $60 in damage.

Yet, this is not the first incident of a celebrity shoplifting. Why do they do it? I doubt it’s the money. Perhaps some are simply kleptomaniacs, but this mental illness is not that common in the general population, so I doubt that this is often the case with celebrities. Is is for the rush – the extra kick of adrenaline from getting away with the crime? Seriously? Staring down Albert Pujols with the game on the line isn’t enough adrenaline?

Anyone else have any explanations?

This article mentions: American Rag

Continuing the series of articles on creativity in writing, let us concentrate on concentration. When developing any kind of story, it can be exceptionally beneficial to establish a mood. The easiest way to accomplish this without actually putting yourself in the situation you want to write about is through aural stimulus. What we hear can influence what we see. The most common scene of a horror movie is slowly ascending a dark stair case towards a closed door. Without the tension and suspense of the background music, it is just a poorly lit staircase, with it, everyone is on the end of their seats waiting for the shock moment.

The same technique can be used to help you develop your story. If you are at a romantic portion of your story, put on some romantic music. If it is a scene of discovery or combat, classic Wagner can be very inspirational.

Never limit yourself to a single stimulus. You can use scented candles, walk outside, cook something for smells. Dim or add lights, work at night or at high noon, to set the lighting.

Once you have your environment set, how do you maintain your concentration to produce the images and messages that you want? The biggest problem is external interruptions. Make sure that the other inhabitants of your writing area know that you want/need isolation for your creativity. Most people will honor your request for at least a little way. Little ones, if you have them around, find it hard to accept that Mom or Dad just needs to be alone. You will have to limit your time to manageable periods to meet the demands of every day life. Sometimes you can use a vacation day and separate yourself from family commitments for a few hours.

Even if you can achieve isolation, distractions abound. Writer’s block, doldrums, even a stray fly can be a problem. If it hits, take a break. Get away. Even reschedule your writing time. Sometimes you cannot win, but that does not mean that you will be frustrated every time. Once you hit a writing surge, you will be amazed at how many words you can capture. Ideas will spawn new ideas, messages will morph into new messages. Eventually, your creation will emerge. It will be different than your original intent. You may even be changed. Even if you abort your project and move to something else, you will have accomplished something incredible; you will have written something that no one else had written. You will have crated something.

Keep writing.

I’ve long been a champion of traditional paper and ink books.  Among the benefits I always mention is the availability of cheap used book and the low risk of loss.  Ebooks (specifically Kindle) are priced competitively with other new editions of books, but more expensive than a dog-eared copy from a used bookstore (not to mention the feeling of poking around for treasures in a book store).

However, I feel myself tugged a bit in the direction of the Kindle these days.  It all really started when I published my first book of short stories for the Kindle.  Without much work, I could make Mountains, Meadows, and Chasms available to the world – at a price point ($3.49) that made it affordable for nearly anyone, while also netting me a fair commission.  Then there’s the availability of free public domain works.  Getting the classic for free would be a good deal.  Kindle users can also lend books to each other for 14 days – and interesting way to read for free.

I’m not quite convinced yet, but I’m on the fence.  We’ll see what the future holds.  Now, let’s take a look at the various version of the Kindle now available (yes, yes, there will be affiliate links at the end of the article).

Kindle DX – The most expensive Kindle has a 9.7″ screen within WiFi and 3G that works globally.  The downside is the price tag.  $379.  Are you freaking kidding me?  If I’m going to spend that sort of money for an e-reader, I’d pony up a few extra dollars for a 1st generation iPad.  Even the lowest end iPad would give you 16 GB of memory compared to the Kindle’s 4 GB, and the screen is also 9.7″.  Install the free Kindle reader application, and you can use it as a Kindle – but also have the added functionality of a full-function tablet (although you do take a hit in battery life).  So I’ll cross the DX off my list … and also ignore the possibility of an iPad.

Kindle 3G + Wi-Fi – The price tag drops to $189 and the screen size is cut down to 6″ (we’re talking diagonal, so this is half the size of the 9.7″).  Here we come across a $50 question – do I NEED 3G?  Probably not.  It’s extremely rare that I’m outside the range of a WiFi network for an extended period of time – and I could plan in advanced to have a few spare books on the kindle.  Cross this one off the list.

Kindle Wi-Fi –  At $139, this is the first model that’s within the realm of possibility.  Pricey, but worth it?  I’m going to say “no” for now, but revisit the situation if The Soap Boxers starts generating decent revenue.  I’d also like to see the price drop below $100 – which might happen at some point in the year.  I’ll keep my eye on this one.

Kindle Wi-Fi with Special Offers –  This is the newest Kindle offering.  It’s basically identical to the $139 Kindle Wi-Fi, but is priced at $114.  The catch?  It will feature advertising and special offers on the bottom of the main screen on on the screen saver (but NOT embedded within the text of a book).  I see this as an interesting option.  For customers who don’t want the ads, they can pay $139 for the standard Kindle Wi-Fi.  For those who don’t mind the ads – or even those who WANT to get the special offers Amazon will send them, it’s a good deal.  Personally, I probably wouldn’t go for this model.  You save $25, but over life of the product, this breaks down to a few pennies per day.  That’s a slam dunk deal for Amazon – an amazingly cheap captive audience.

Make the ad-supported Kindle FREE, and you might get my attention.  This might sound like a ridiculous idea, but Amazon would greatly expand the customer base for the ads – and also the customer base for the bread-and-butter product, the eBooks.  Free Kindles in 2012?  Don’t be surprised.

Kindle owners – any thoughts to share with us?

Jenna’s cheerleader skirt fluttered in the breeze and she yanked the gas station receipt from the pump.  $50 for a tank of gas?  Ouch.  She was about to jump back in the car when she realized that she was running low on funds.  She exchanged quick greetings with the cashier as she made a beeline for the ATM.  A moment later, she had refilled her wallet with pictures of dead presidents.

Jenna remembered that her mom had asked her to pick up a few items at the grocery store on the way home from the wrestling meet.  She didn’t want to backtrack to the store – she’d just pick them up here.  She experienced a bit of sticker shock when she grabbed the first item – this was far more expensive than the grocery store.  Jenna decided to bite the bullet – she wasn’t going to waste the time going back to the grocery store just to save a few bucks.

The bell on the door jingled and man in his mid thirties entered the store. He grabbed a Pepsi and a package of Ding Dongs and headed to the counter.

“Any gas with that?” asked Mary, the cashier.

“No,” came the gruff response.  “Just give me all the money in the register.”  The man shoved a gun into Mary’s face.

Mary hesitated for a moment, and the man fired a shot into the security camera.  As pieces of the camera fell to the floor, Mary opened the register and started pulling bills out of the drawer.  She shoved them across the counter to the robber.

“That’s not enough,” he complained.  “What’s in the safe?”

“It’s on a time lock,” Mary explained.  “I can’t open it.”

“Maybe this will help you figure out a way to get it open,” he said, firing several shots in Mary’s direction as she ducked for cover.

Out of the corner of his eye, the robber noticed the petite blond cheerleader at the back of the store.  As he turned the gun toward her, he noticed a projectile flying toward him.  The object had knocked the gun out of his hand before he could react.  Before he could move toward the gun, a second object hit him square in the forehead.  The can of frozen orange juice exploded upon impact.

Jenna charged down the aisle and tackle the robber will all the force her ninety five pound body could muster.  As she grappled with the perp, the cashier retrieved the pistol and held the robber at gunpoint until the police arrived.