The SoapBoxers

I did not have an article last week. Instead I was at a funeral. Such an event tends to make you look at life and try to evaluate what is actually important. Does it mater that the Green Bay Packers beat the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Super Bowl? Does it matter that the U.S. congress still hasn’t passed a budget for this year? All in all, probably not.

This funeral was for a friend’s (my best friend’s) mother. I drove from Iowa to Texas on Friday, attended the funeral on Saturday and drove back to Iowa on Sunday. The funeral itself was actually nice, capturing her personality and life. The drive allowed me many hours with my wife, talking about our own parents, our children, our lives. We spent most of our time in Texas with my friend who happens to be married to my wife’s friend. That chance to re-connect, share grief and remember our youth.

I realize that I have possibly a disproportionate amount of good in my life. Good family, good job, good friends, and a chance to express myself in writing. I try to appreciate all of these gifts. I have never complained about my compensation at work, mostly because it would make no difference, but also because my various bosses have treated me (on balance) fairly. I try to praise and correct my children in proper order. I make every effort to let my wife know how much I appreciate her. I try to respect my parent’s decisions and support them in any way that I can. I try to be dependable to my friends and all of my obligations. I am also indebted to all of you who actually read my articles and hopefully will read my books once I make them available.

Am I successful with all of this? Well certainly not every day and not in every circumstance. The important thing is to try, and actually think about it. It is a shame that it takes a funeral to reinforce the need to appreciate what we all have. A life perspective is something we should have every day.

I am making Mountains, Meadows, and Chasms available to the public.  The book contains more than 70 of my short stories – more than 80,000 words.  Most of them have appear on The Soap Boxers, but the book also contains the full versions of The Cell Window, Key Relationships, and Tip of the Iceberg.  This is the largest collection I have released to date.

I’m setting the price at just $3.49 – that’s 5 cents per story.  I hope you get a nickel’s worth of enjoyment out of my stories.

Mountains, Meadows, and Chasms is available in two formats – in PDF format from the Hyrax Publications store and in Kindle format at Amazon.

You can also check out my author page at Amazon

I also chatted with the guys at the Card Corner Radio show last night about the sports card book.  You can listen to it here – I jump in around the 10 minute mark.

	PDF Version
	Kindle Version

On Thursday, Harvey Almorn Updyke, Jr. was arrested on one count of first degree criminal mischief.  His bond was set at $50,000 and Updyke faces up to ten years in prison for his crime.

What was his crime?  Being too much of a fan of the University of Alabama.

Updyke is a die-hard Bama fan, but lives near the campus of the University of Auburn.  In November, he drove to the campus and sprayed some trees in the area known as Toomer’s Corner with the herbicide Spike80DF.  The herbicide, which is use to kill trees, is fatal in conentrations of 100 parts per billion (or 0.1 parts per million).  Tests of the soil around the trees found concentrations ranging from .78 parts per million (7 times the fatal concentration) to 51 parts per million (500 times the fatal concentration).  In other words, the trees will almost certainly die.  I don’t think you need to be a “tree hugger” to be appalled by the wanton destruction of century old trees.

I’m not an Auburn fan, nor much of a follower of the SEC as a whole.  I wasn’t aware of the post-game tradition of fans toilet papering the trees to celebrate wins.  Apparently, it’s a pretty big tradition, and Updyke was trying to kill this tradition by killing the trees.

After Updyke called a Birmingham radio station last month to brag about the stunt, it was only a matter of time before he would be arrested.  He identified himself as “Al from Dadeville.”  Dadeville has around 3000 residents.  I’m sure a handful are even named Al … and maybe a couple of them happen to be Alabama fans in the shadow of the Auburn campus.

Updyke’s court appointed attorney filed a motion to withdraw from the case.  The reason?  Seems that the lawyer had perviously been employed as a part-time professor at Auburn.

I guess Updyke thought he would be hailed as a hero by Alabama supporters.  He certainly doesn’t have the backing of the Bama athletic director.  AD Mal Moore commented, saying that the poisoning was “a terrible thing to do.”  I applaud Moore for publicly denouncing the act, so that there can be no uncertainly whether or not the administration would condone such acts.  Rational people would realize that Alabama wouldn’t condone this, but perhaps Moore’s words stopped one extremist in his or her tracks.  I’m sure a great many Crimson Tide fans put aside their hatred of the Tigers for one day to feel some sympathy for Auburn.

Updyke should have asked himself WWBBD – What Would Bear Bryant Do?  I suspect that Bryant wouldn’t have stooped to vandalism.

Sadly, this sort of thing is not completely unprecedented in sports.  Back in 2002, White Sox fans William Ligue Sr. and his son (William Jr.) attacked a completely defenseless Tom Gamboa, the first base coach for the Royals.  Gamboa suffered permanent hearing loss as a result.  Sadly, the younger Ligue bragged about the incident online later.

And who can forget the knife attack on Monica Seles in 1993 – by a fan of Steffi Graf would hated seeing Graf lose to Seles.  Seles returned from the traumatic attack two years later, but nor at the same level of consistent excellence she had achieved before.

I’m a huge sports fan, and I have intense dislike for a number of teams.  Johnny Goodman knows how much I hate the Nebraska football program.  However, I would never dream of doing something like this.  Sports are great, but in the end, it’s a game.  There are more important things in life.  Ratchet the rhetoric down a bit.

I first wanted to write about how proud I was with the Egyptian people and their handling of protests and their desire for freedom. The fact that they could protest in a non-violent manner and oust their leader was amazing. I’ll admit it. I had a few good laughs over the twitter hashtag #ReasonsWhyMubarakIsLate when they kept postponing his announcement. If you haven’t seen it, check it out. You’ll get a good chuckle. My favorites were “He just discovered the new board of Angry Birds” and “Keeps getting interrupted by Kanye West that “Cleopatra was the best Egyptian leader of all time”.

But then I read the article about how CBS Reporter Lara Logan was sexually assaulted and saved by a group of women and the Egyptian military.

So much for non-violence. What is wrong with people?

I then wanted to write about how proud I was that the Egyptian people seem to have created a surge of Democracy. They want freedom. They need freedom. I heard a protester say, “We want what Iraq has. We want freedom.” and I laughed. That “War monger” George W. Bush was right. Oppressed people want freedom. They crave it. But the Liberals will never admit that Dubya had it right all along.

So I thought I had my column for the week. But then I saw this. “The U.S. informed Arab governments Tuesday that it will support a U.N. Security Council statement reaffirming that the 15-nation body “does not accept the legitimacy of continued Israeli settlement activity,” a move aimed at avoiding the prospect of having to veto a stronger Palestinian resolution calling the settlements illegal.”

This is the last thing we need to do. We need to support Israel. We need to stand behind them and support the Israelites.

While I understand some believe I may have contradicted myself by congratulating the Egyptians on ousting Mubarak in one paragraph and saying we need to support Israel in the next…but that’s how I feel.

It’s been a crazy month in the politics of the Middle East. And I’m sure that it will get even crazier while the Egyptian Government scrambles to figure out who is in charge and other countries follow Egypt’s example of the power of people. Stay tuned. I’m sure I’ll have more comments about it all.

Once again, Albert Pujols is front and center in the world of baseball.  As I write this, we’re closing in on the deadline Albert set for striking a deal.  It seems increasingly unlikely that Pujols will sign a deal prior to the deadline – setting the stage for his possible departure from St. Louis.  While there are a lot of teams that would love to have Pujols in their lineup, are there any willing and able to pony up $30 million per year?  The Yankees and Red Sox have a franchise 1B locked up, and those are usually the two teams with the most cash.

Of course, Pujols played third base earlier in his career.  The Yankees would play him at 3B, move A-Rod back to SS, and turn their aging SS into a utility player.  (I kid, John, I kid.)

Speaking of Yankees … CC Sabathia showed up at camp considerably lighter.  That’s a relative concept for a guy who lugs around 300 pounds on his 6’7″ frame, but he claims to be down 25 pounds from last year.  Based on the photos, I can believe it.  The one concern I always had with CC was his weight.  I always thought that it would eventually cause him to wear down at the end of the year.  It hasn’t happened yet – with Sabathia winning at least 17 games, pitching at least 230 innings, and posting an ERA of 3.37 or better in each of the past 4 seasons – and the weight loss might make him even more durable.  With 157 wins on his resume at age 30, Sabathia remains a solid candidate to be come the next 300 game winner – especially if he can maximize his wins the next few years, before the Yankee core declines too much.  There’s also the possibility that Sabathia could opt out of his deal, but I don’t see that happening.

Off the field …

On Tuesday, President Barack Obama recognized former Cardinal Stan “The Man” Musial with the presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honor.  The greatest Cardinal of them all was a 24 time All-Star (note that there were two All Star games each year between 1959 and 1962, with one game benefitting the players’ pension fund).

The ownership of the New York Mets is in flux.  The owners are looking into the possibility of selling a 25% share of the team.  The owners are being sued by Irving Picard (no relation to Jean-Luc), the trustee for victims of Bernie Madoff.  Picard alleges that team ownership withdrew large amounts of false profits from their accounts with Madoff, and should have know that fraud was occurring.  This is the latest in a recent string of off-field issue affecting teams.  The McCourt divorce is still casting uncertainly on the future of the Dodgers.

Spring Training has begun, meaning that winter is officially over.  This means that any subsequent snowfalls will be in violation of federal law.

My picks for the World Series?  As much as I’d like to pick the Rockies, any team with Cole Hamels as their #4 starter  is going to make some noise – so I pick the Phillies from the NL.  In the AL, I’ll give the nod to the Red Sox, who added an extremely good player in Adrian Gonzalez.  My player to watch this season is Homer Bailey.  Although many have already given up on him as a bust, the kid won’t turn 25 until May.  I think he has enough experience under his belt to put together a breakout season in 2011.

As we attempt to corner the market on Pujols-related commentary, Johnny adds his thoughts on the topic.

Pitchers and Catchers are reporting … we are headed into the upcoming baseball season as the NFL appears to be mired in a circus of doom regarding salaries and collective bargaining agreements, or lack thereof.  But another disagreement regarding salary is looming large on the horizon in Major League Baseball.  The Cardinals current inability to come to terms with Albert Pujols.

No realistic talks have taken place for a few weeks.  The Cardinals are offering 30 million a year for 5 years.  That is some fat money no matter how good you are in baseball terms.  Prince Albert is allegedly looking for a bit more security and wants 10 years in a new contract, to the tune of about 300 million.

There have been some other large contracts recently in the majors that after the fact never seem to look all that good.  Pedro Martinez signed for humongous cash and promptly put two to three epic years on the mound, but then injuries and age caught him quicker than anyone could have imagined.

Most people point out the ridiculous contract that was penned by Alex Rodriguez, both in terms of numbers of years and also total amount of money.  Can any one player live up to that type of value?  For the type of money and length of contract that is being desired by Pujols, the Cardinals could instead get 3 major impact players for the ballclub.  So … why would they want to sign him for this type of money?

In the age of Free Agency, few players are the face of the franchise like Pujols currently is.  A few others come to mind.  Derek Jeter of the Yankees, Jimmy Rollins of the Phillies, Ichiro of the Mariners … and I am sure there are others.  But most any player that starts out on a small market team does not stay there long.  The money is too great and there is always the deep pockets of teams like the Red Sox and Yankees ready to pony up the funds to bring in some guns for hire.  Signing Pujols long term means you are paying a premium to keep him around as the centerpiece of your St Louis Cardinals, where you plan on having him stay.

Pujols also has numbers to back up getting a ridiculous contract.  Ten straight years of hitting over .300 and knocking in over 100 runs.  That is something even Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig cannot claim to have done.  Pujols is at the top of the list for doing this and is still in his prime.  He has endured this streak through injuries and is perennially among conversations involving the Triple Crown. (leading the league in Batting Average, Homers and Runs Batted In)  The last player to win a triple crown was Carl Yastrzemski in 1967 as he single handedly propelled the Red Sox into the World Series where they lost to … guess who … yep, the same Cardinals.  Stats Like these with Pujols don’t lie, he is worthy of the largest contract in the league.

The flip side is he is 10 years into his career.  At what point does he start to decline?  Will injuries continue to creep into his playing time?  Can he keep this up forever?  What does a contract like this do to the ability to sign other good players in the competitive National League Central?

These are all questions that the Cardinals organization as well as the fans of St Louis need to be taking into consideration.  The good news for the Cardinals is it is late in the game.  I am not sure at this stage when teams have restructured their contracts and loaded up in Free Agency that they could pay Albert the type of money he is looking for either.  To me it seems like we are witnessing a real world game of chicken, albeit for a lot of money … and the key to playing chicken…you gotta know when the other guy is going to flinch.

Stay Classy St Louis!

Wednesday is the deadline Albert Pujols has set for negotiating a new deal with the St. Louis Cardinals.  If the sides are unable to reach a deal by then, it will have to wait until the end of the season – and Pujols might opt to become a free agent.

Last year, I posted a May Fools Day article claiming that Pujols signed a contract extension with the Cardinals.  Obviously, Pujols’s demand were slightly exaggerated (the St. Louis Arch is not on the table), but not by much.  The parameters that have been kicked around are 10 years at $30 million per year.  I’m not going to get into a debate about whether athletes are overpaid, but instead look at the issues surrounding this particular deal.

You might think the biggest problem is the money.  Sure, $30 million per year is some serious cash, but it’s been fairly apparent for a number of years that Pujols would ask for this kind of money.  He has established himself as one of the best – if not THE best – players in the game, and Alex Rodriguez has set the market for the über-elite at $25-$30 million per year.  It certainly wouldn’t surprise me to see the Cardinals sign him to a deal paying $30 million per year.

The real sticking point is the length of the deal.  Pujols wants a ten year deal.  When the deal expires at the end of the 2020 season, Pujols would be nearly 41 years old.  That’s not old in human terms, but it is ancient for a baseball players.  As you look down the rosters of MLB teams, you’re only going to encounter a few guys on the downside of 40.  Even the players who are still around at 40 have seen their skills diminish greatly – an effect of the aging process.  Pujols plays first base, which isn’t as prone to dramatic drop-offs as middle infielders or catchers – but the odds of a 40 year old Pujols making a run at the MVP aren’t likely.

What this boils down to is that the 2011 version of Pujols at $30 million might make a lot of sense, but paying $30 million for Pujols in 2020 – even after accounting for fact that inflation will likely erode the value of that salary – might not.

So, then, why don’t the Cardinals simply sign him to the 10 year deal and then cut him when his skills erode?  Because baseball contracts are guaranteed.  Once the player signs a deal, he’s going to get the money – unless he opts to retire.  You can’t simply wash your hands of the deal after a few years, a la the NFL.

So, then, what’s the answer?  I personally think that vesting options are the way to go.  Make maybe 6 years of the deal guaranteed.  After that point, if Pujols reaches certain levels of performance, an option for the next year is automatically triggered.  This protects the Cardinals from a situation where Pujols has declined to the point of being a platoon player, while at the same time getting Pujols maximum value if he stays healthy and productive.

Many observers have said that Pujols is worth more to the Cardinals than he is to any other team, due to the fact that he is such a huge fan favorite in St. Louis.  I have always agreed with this sentiment.  However, a recent suggestion has made me re-think this.  The suggestion was that the Cubs – who have 1B Carlos Peña on a  1 year contract – might make a run at Pujols.  This move would strengthen the Cubs at the same time it weakened their hated rivals – and would turn the rivalry even more bitter.

One interesting, yet overlooked issue … the Cardinals could opt to offer Pujols arbitration at the end of the year.  In fact, they would need to in order to receive compensation for losing him as a free agent.  If the Cardinals offer and an Pujols accepts, it would set the stage for an extremely interesting arbitration hearing.

Like most young children growing up, at some point I learned about government.  I learned about the three branches of government – executive, legislative and judicial.  I learned that the role of the judicial branch is to interpret the law and apply facts and the law to each case that comes before it.  Sometimes there comes a case before a judge where the judge or a direct relation or friend of that judge has a stake in the outcome.  To avoid favoritism a judge will normally disqualify themselves from a case where there is a conflict of interest and this is called recusal.  Sandra Day O’Connor routinely recused herself from cases involving telecommunication industries because she owned large amounts of stock in those firms.

I figure that it’s fairly routine to do this; Elana Kagan did so in a recent case involving workplace law and harassment due to her previous work as Solicitor General and the law in question on that case wasn’t even signed when she held that job.  So here’s a little scenario for you:  You’re a supreme court judge, and your spouse has accepted almost $700,000 from firms standing to gain quite a bit by the Citizens United ruling, do you recuse yourself from the case?  Not only did Clarence Thomas not recuse himself from that case, he had routinely checked “no” on ethics forms that require him to disclose if his spouse received noninvestment money.  Is he required by law to disclose this?  No, but what’s the point of having ethics forms if you lie on them?  Heck, if we have Supreme Court Judges lying on ethics forms, why bother even having a court?

Well, there’s a case on the horizon looming, pretty much everyone knows it’s coming:  Obamacare vs. Virginia and Florida will be in the supreme court before too long, possibly scheduled by the end of this year.  Virginia Thomas, Clarence’s wife, has done quite a bit of work the past decade for companies that have been outspoken against the new health care law, and there is already a movement going to demand Thomas’ recusal for when this case finally comes about.  Don’t hold your breath on that one.

The last few decades have seen Supreme Court justices acting more and more like they’re Teflon, like they can get away with anything and as long as they claim impartiality they’re fine.  Antonin Scalia has his own list:  going on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney weeks before a case involving Cheney was heard in the Supreme Court, speaking at a Tea Party rally organized by Michelle Bachmann, and most recently Scalia and Thomas were guests at an invitation-only gathering fully paid for by the Koch brothers.

How do we solve a problem like Scalia?  Once again, transparency.  The Supreme Court is not a get-away-with-whatever club where once you join you get to toss your code of ethics (if you ever had one) out the window.  The whole point of that office in the first place was to interpret the law with as much impartiality as is humanly possible and two members in particular are turning it into their own personal gain machine.  Second, we need to start limiting the terms of justices, or at the very least have some sort of re-confirmation every number of years.  If it’s ludicrously rare for anything more than a slap on the wrist to come down on Supreme Court justices in terms of punishment and they’re starting to show themselves as not being ethical enough to be above greed or partisanship we need to show them that they’re replaceable.

On Tuesday, I mentioned the plight of fans who were left without seats to the Super Bowl after temporary seating was not deemed safe in time for the game.  The fans were given the option of standing in standing-room-only sections or watching the game from TVs within the stadium.  Hardly the experience they expected when they paid a small fortune to buy tickets from scalpers and more money for airfare, lodging, and meals.

Almost immediately, the NFL said they would give $2400 refunds to the fans.  That’s three times the face value, but face value means very little when it comes to the actual cost of Super Bowl tickets.  Certainly a nice chunk of change, but the fans still wasted vacation time and the cost of the trip for a pretty lousy experience.

On Monday, the NFL increased the offer by including tickets to next year’s Super Bowl.  The tickets would be transferable, meaning that they could be sold.  Definitely a better offer.

On Tuesday, the NFL added an additional options.  The fans could choose to receive tickets to any future Super Bowl, plus airfare and accomodations.  The fans could wait until after the conference titles games to decide whether or not to attend – meaning that they would know whether or not their team would be in the game.  Fans taking this option would not get the $2400 cash (since they are getting airfare and accomodations), nor would the tickets be transferable.  I assume that if the original ticketholder died while waiting for their team to reach the Super Bowl, the experience would be transferrable to an heir – but I’m not sure the NFL has had the time to think through these types of scenarios yet.

I’m happy with that offer.  Presumably, these fans would get decent seats to the future game (to avoid negative publicity) and covering the cost of airfare and lodging would seem to offset costs to attend this year’s game.  If you’re a Packers or Steelers fan who really wanted a seat to this year’s Super Bowl, it’s not going to completely fix that problem – but what would?  Some things are priceless, and you can’t throw money at them to fix it.

While the league and the Cowboys certainly have some blame, the winter storm that smacked much of the country was a very large factor in wreaking havoc on the preparation for the Super Bowl.  As the proverb goes, “Man plans.  God laughs.”   (Note: next year’s game will be in balmy Indianapolis.)

Today, a lawsuit was filed against the league and the Cowboys (who hosted the game)  claiming breach of contract, deceptive sales practices, and fraud.  I’ll conceded that there was a breach of contract and even the possibility of deceptive sales practices – but outright fraud?  Does anyone actually believe the NFL intended to defraud these people?  I sincerely believe that the NFL would have loved for the temporary seating to be deemed safe and to have butts in those seats.

I suspect that the league may set a deadline for accepting its offer and make fans sign a release that prevents them from suing for further damages.  Fans who join the lawsuit might end up with more money … or they might lose the lawsuit and get nothing.  I’m certainly no legal scholar, but it appears that the NFL has made a good faith effort to rectify the wrong.  Will Lady Justice see the fans as victims … or as gold diggers?

Yesterday, I mentioned that I will be seeking a publisher for Mountains, Meadows, and Chasms, my collection of short stories.  While the market for short stories is not nearly as large as it was a generation or two ago, I believe that the current focus on bite-sized nuggets of information (Twitter, for example) may have a spillover effect into the literary world.

Today, I’m going to take you down the road to publication – a road that I am still navigating myself.

Write – sounds, simple, doesn’t it?  You can’t have something published unless you first write it.  It can be hard to get into the habit of writing, though.  My first taste of writing glory came when I was picked to attend a writer’s conference in 6th grade.  I still wonder if I was picked because I was the only boy who expressed interest … but I enjoyed the experience.  I wrote stories off and on until I graduated college, and then quite abruptly quit writing fiction for ten years.  I never intended to stop writing – it just happened.

Ego – You need a bit of an ego to write fiction.  You’re making up stuff out of thin air and expecting people to be interested in it.  This is different from non-fiction, where you’re adding to an existing information base (and an accompanying reader base).  This was a bit difficult for me, as I’m really not an ego-driven person in real life (or, at least, I think I am not).  I got around this by creating the persona of Kosmo.  Kosmo can have his own personality and ego, and I can check the ego and the door when I drop back into real life.

Editing -Without a doubt, my least favorite aspect of the writing process is editing.  When I was preparing the initial version of Mountains, Meadows, and Chasms for entry into the Iowa Short Fiction Awards contest, I was editing those stories for the third time.  First, I edited them for publication on The Soap Boxers.  When I prepared them for publication as eBook in the Hyrax Publications store, I edited them again.  While I enjoy reading my own stories, the thought of editing them yet a third time was not my idea of a fun time.  However, a few trips to Pizza Hut with my binder in tow helped make the process less painful.

Culling – This is an advanced form of editing, and most applicable to short story writers.  Since my resurgence as a fiction writer began in the spring of 2009, I have written 92 pieces of short fiction.  It would be tempting to cram all of them into a book in order to pad the length.  However, some of them just aren’t good fits.  The first cuts were easy – pieces like Manny Ramirez Signs With the Tigers were fun to write, but they were satire and not typical fiction stories.  I love Ferdinand the Turtle (especially part 2, Meeting Bob), but the couple of children’s stories didn’t fit in well with the others. Finally, I cut stories that just weren’t very good.  I originally started writing short stories as a way to refine my technique before beginning work on a novel, so while some early stories like Release Point are fairly good, there are also some stinkers like Puzzled (I really thought this idea would turn into a good story, but it didn’t).

Finding a publisher – There are three ways to get your work published.  Martin Kelly already walked us through the self-publishing route, and I’m not going to reinvent the wheel.  The second route is taking your work directly to the publishers.  However, some publishers don’t take direct submissions, preferring to work through literary agents.  Obviously, the third route is to use a literary agents.  Literary agents are typically paid a commission based on a percentage of your royalties.  This means that you don’t need to pay the agent up front.  Naturally, this means that the agents are selective, since they don’t want to waste their time peddling crap.  I’ve only been seeking an agent for a few days, so I’m not an expert at this point.  However, I did stumble across Editors and Preditors.  I can’t vouch for the accuracy of the information on the site, but the gist of the site is to let writers know which people are legit and which ones are not.

remember that ego you stroked a bit earlier?  You’ll need to trim it down a bit when you’re searching for a publisher or editor.  Odds are good that you’ll receive several rejections before getting accepted.  Good luck!