The SoapBoxers

My favorite event of the Summer, the Annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Championship was held yesterday. Joey Chestnut made it 5 in a row downing 62 Hot Dogs and Buns in 10 minutes of time. His nearest competitor – Patrick Bertoletti – set a personal best with 53 dogs consumed. This event also was the first appearance by three competitors from China that were flown in to participate. (Nathan’s coincidentally is opening up a number of chain stores in China, so it strictly is a marketing ploy to be sure)

Meanwhile in the world of competitive eating, controversy still reigns supreme. Across town at another locale, 230 Fifth Avenue – namely a rooftop bar in mid-town Manhattan, six-time champ Takeru Kobayashi downed a record 69 hot dogs to become the unofficial winner of this year’s annual Nathan’s hot dog eating competition.

The establishment broadcasted the sanctioned Nathan’s Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Competition in real-time on ESPN. Kobayashi went up against the competitors on the big screen in a sort of “simulcast eating event” and beat the competitors in the official competition by 7 dogs.

Questions immediately were raised. Are these the same size Hot Dogs at are at Nathan’s? Did the proximity to the boardwalk on Coney Island and the sheer volume of spectators make the conditions more hot and humid versus the high rise, breezier and cooler conditions in which Kobayshi quote “competed” ? Would Chestnut have kicked it into another gear had he had his sights on Kobayashi immediately to his left or right?

Last year in protest, Kobayashi was arrested at the Nathan’s event after he climbed over a barrier and stormed the stage of the Nathan’s contest. He was protesting the fact that he was unable to come to an agreement contractually with the powers that oversee the world of competitive eating. (Which by the way according to an ESPN poll is not a sport….80% of the voters indicated it is cool to watch but not considered a sport)

Catching wind that there may be a simultaneous off site event featuring Kobayashi, MLE (Major League Eating ) president Richard Shea said earlier this week that his organization wouldn’t recognize Kobayashi’s achievement if he wins. “It’s a farce,” said Shea. “He’s not banned, he’s just mad he lost three years in a row.”

Kobayashi claims he has no hard feelings for the MLE. He just doesn’t want to sign a contract that restricts him.

Steven Greenberg, the owner of the bar where Kobayashi “unofficially” broke the record indicated Kobayashi was paid for his hot dog eating appearance but said it wasn’t an endorsement or promotional fee and wouldn’t disclose the amount.

Will this ever be settled? Will cooler heads prevail and we get to see once again Kobayashi versus Chestnut? Perhaps at the Nebraska State Fair?

Maybe they could battle in some sort of neutral food other than hot dogs? A few ideas…Pickled Eggs, Chocolate Ice Cream, Funnel Cakes, or my personal favorite (and yes someone does have a world record for this) Mayonnaise.

A new twist for 2011 – This year for the first time ever, the women got an event of their own and did not compete directly against the men. Sonya Thomas aka, the Black Widow downed forty dogs to take the first official Woman’s’ Title , a check for Ten Grand, and the now coveted Pink Belt.

The winner of the “Real “ Event gets a smooth $10,000 and more importantly the coveted Mustard Belt awarded to the winner of the Nathan’s Competition. For Chestnut he needs to clear out some more wall space.

Somehow I think that Aaron Rodgers with his “Championship Belt “ move on the football field would look better sporting one of the Mustard colored belts that would match the Packer Green just fine….but I digress….

Until Next time…Stay Classy at the unlimited buffet nights!

This is the day that many kids of all ages wait for each summer. The excitement of cook outs, parades, and fireworks are anticipated and enjoyed by entire families and communities. I am lucky enough to live in a smaller town, where the parades are more intimate, the festivals are filled with friends and children I know, and the cooking is great!

I am a boy scout and cub scout leader, so I try to include some teaching with events and celebrations, especially when attached to historical the basic identity of our country. First, this is the celebration of the independence of the United States from the United Kingdom. The significance of this is not to bash the British, they have been friends and allies with the United States through out our history and during some of the most difficult and dangerous days we have faced. The significance is in the action of strongly independent and self sufficient people declaring their separation from a culture of class and obligation based on birth rather than skill.

The documents that were left to us by those strong willed people still resonate today. Americans resist the idea of an elite who have some right to lead, ordain or command. Americans have always been ready to fight, even among themselves when they feel the cause is just. They are willing to sacrifice treasure and life for others, and except for the period of “Manifest Destiny” without the thought of territorial gain. You can see this resolve in many of the wars the Unites States has participated in, from the World Wars, to intervention in Haiti, to placing our service men and women between hostile factions. This is not to say that the United States has always been blameless and pure. The actions taken against the Native Americans in general, and specific un-punished activities by government and civilians occur, but are not on balance the rule.

There are so many checks and balances to keep our nation on the ideal path or at least close to it. You can see the corrections from the peace and equality rallies of the 1960s, the anti-terror and anti-war rallies of the early 2000s, and the current round of protests by the TEA parties. I point out to my scouts that we have no less than four amendments to the Constitution to try to protect people of African decent (I am not kidding: XIII, XIV, XV, XXIV). First to free them from slavery, then to protect their right to vote, over and over again. It may take the United States a while to get things right, but eventually we seem to at least get close.

So as you burn bratwurst on the grill and eat too much cherry pie, consider what we are celebrating. As you watch the fireworks displays, consider the risks and challenges that our founders faces to get us where we are today. And most especially, remember those people who have through the years, worked so diligently to keep you safe and free. You will see them in the parades, service men and women, firemen and police, politicians, students, senior citizens, immigrants, farmers, and civil servants. Know your Constitution and celbrate our freedom and success. This is a freedom and success to be enjoyed by every citizen and guest.

Could it be? A brand new story? Yep!

Andrew sighed as he pressed his face against the window and watched the rain fall. It was going to be another dreary day inside cell block K. He had been rousted from his bed far earlier than he would have liked, and after the morning’s calisthenics, he was forced to participate in the prison’s compulsory education system.

Andrew felt wrong by the system. He was no criminal – he had been railroaded by the system. He missed his younger sister and his parents and was angry that his prison sentence restricted the time he could spend with them. He knew that the years were going to pass very slowly.

For a moment, he envied his brother Sam. Sam was also an unjustly held prisoner. At least Sam had some hope for a better future. Sam was in cell block 6, but would be moving to a new facility within the year. The new facility afforded the inmates more opportunities. It wasn’t freedom, but it was far closer to freedom than Andrew could dream of.

It wouldn’t even be accurate to say that Sam was disappointed with the lunch that the prison served. During his time in the prison, he had grown accustomed to the swill that masqueraded as food. Government workers producing the very worst in institutional food. Andrew felt himself getting sick to his stomach. Didn’t the constitution ban cruel and unusual punishment?

The mid-day siesta was a welcome break from the drudgery within the prison walls. For an hour, Andrew was able to push aside the negativity that filled his days. He dreamed of the better days ahead. Days outside these prison walls, walking through a meadow on a beautiful summer day. For this brief period each day, Andrew had hope for the future, and his mind escaped the prison walls.

After the siesta, the inmates were marched out to the exercise yard for the alloted period of fresh air. The dampness still clung in the air, and it was chilly. Andrew huddled to keep warm as he watched some thugs in another section of the yard. Some of these people had clearly grown accustomed to the life inside these walls and even seemed to enjoy it. Andrew hoped that he would never fall victim to this fate. He would never give up and resign himself to life within the walls.

As the day wound down, Andrew went to a corner of his cell and scrawled another vertical line, marking yet another day within the prison.

“Andy,” shouted Miss Bolton. “We don’t write on the walls. Give me that crayon!”

Andrew smiled sheepishly and gave the red crayon to his kindergarten teacher,

First basemen Albert Pujols of the Cardinals and Prince Fielder of the Brewers will hit the free agent market this off-season, unless they are re-signed by their current teams.  The Yankees (Mark Teixeira) and Red Sox (Adrian Gonzalez) already have significant money tied up in their first basemen, and are not likely to chase after them, which could limit the payout slightly.  However, each player is likely going to get somewhere upwards of $20 million per year.

Who is worth more? Let’s break it down and allow you to reach your own conclusion.
 

 
There’s one really interesting scenario that I haven’t heard discussed much. The Cardinals and Brewers could each end up with a high quality first baseman and a free draft pick if the Cardinals were to sign Fielder and the Brewers nabbed Pujols. A team that signs a type-a free agent surrenders its first round pick to the team losing the player, but the team losing the player ALSO gets a “sandwich” pick between the first and second round of the draft. Let’s say the Cardinals had the 10th pick in next year’s draft and the Brewers had the 11th. If the Cardinals signed Fielder and the Brewers signed Pujols, the Cardinals would lose pick 10, but gain pick 11 and a sandwich pick, while the Brewers would lose pick 11 but gain pick 10 plus a sandwich pick. (More about free agent compensation here).
 

I don’t usually do personal dedications in my articles.  However, this article is dedicated to the woman who declared that she was too educated to be kicked off a train after the conductor asked her to keep her noise level down.

What, exactly, does is mean to be “educated”?

It’s not a piece of paper – I have two Bachelor of Science degrees (earned simultaneously).  I’m proud of this achievement.  However, my university education served as the foundation for my overall education – it is not stand-alone proof that I am educated.  A commencement is a beginning, not an end – and a foundation is not a completed structure.  Having a degree doesn’t even prove that you have specific knowledge – only that you possessed that knowledge at one time.  People do tend to forget things over the years.  If you’re 50 years old, do you really want to point to your college degree – evidence only of a burst of academic success thirty years ago – as proof that you are “educated”?

It’s a commitment to continued learning – I have learned far more in the fourteen years that have passed since my college graduation than I did in the four years I spent on campus.  Not only have I needed to keep pace with my industry and my role (which is not related to my degrees), but I have also worked to enhance my knowledge in several areas of interest.  These areas include baseball, forensic science, paleontology, and law.  In a combination of two of the interests, I have become very well versed in Major League Baseball’s collective bargaining agreement 🙂

I have a brother who spent nearly twenty years working in a factory.  The company moved the jobs out of the country – a big blow to the local community.  Those who lost their jobs had the opportunity to go to college for two years at no cost.  My brother, who had not been a very committed student in his youth, saw a good deal and jumped on it.  Thanks to his willingness to continue his learning, he is now the owner of a successful computer repair business.

It’s a willingness to go outside your comfort zone – I have a friend that we’ll call Tom (because that’s his actual name).  Tom and I really have very little in common.  We fall on different sides of the political spectrum (albeit with generous overlap) and have very different interests.  The only time Tom watches NFL football is when he sits down to watch 60 Minutes and the preceding game bleeds into the time slot.  Conversely, the only time I watch 60 Minutes is if I don’t quickly flip to a different channel after my NFL game ends.

Tom and I often have lunch together.  Our discussions are quite often enlightening.  One of us will talk about their job or an interest, and the other person will chime in with an “uneducated” view on the topic.  The “uneducated” view often makes the “expert” look at the subject from a fresh viewpoint.  Quite often, I walk away with the need to dig deeper to answer the questions of “why?” that Tom raises.

If you’ve been reading The Soap Boxers very long, then you know that I’m a big baseball fan.  Major league baseball has been around since 1876, and teams play a game almost every day, so there’s an almost bottomless well of trivia to tap into. 

So without further ado, let’s jump in. All question refer solely to stats achieved in the Major Leagues – but these questions aren’t for rookies! Answers are at at the bottom (below the wonderful selection of baseball-related items).
 
 

1)  From the moment Hank Aaron homered off Al Downing on April 8, 1974 until Barry Bonds broke hit his 756th home run on August 7, 2007, Aaron was the career home run king, with 755 home runs. How many times did Aaron hit more than 50 homers in a season?

2) This pitcher won an MVP and Cy Young and also tossed a no-hitter. He won 197 games in his Hall of Fame career, recording his final career start in 1987.

3) Who has the longest hitting streak of any living Hall of Famer?

4) Hall of Famers are often selected to a great many All Star games during their career. Of the Hall of Famers who played their entire careers in the All Star Game era, which two players have the distinction of being selected to the FEWEST All-Star games?

5) On April 25, 1935, the Pittsburgh Pirates allowed a member of the Boston Braves to hit three home runs against them. Why was this significant?

6) On September 7, 1974, Graig Nettles of the Yankees broke his bat during a game. What happened next?

7) This Hall of Famer homered in his first career at bat … and never hit another home run.

8 ) On July 15, 1994, pitcher Jason Grimsley stole something from a locked room in a major league stadium. What did he steal?

9) On July 6, 1983, Fred Lynn homered off Atlee Hammaker. What is significant about Lynn’s homer?

Answers:

1) Aaron never hit more than 50 homers in a season – but he did hit at least 40 in eight seasons.

2) Dennis Eckersley threw a no-hitter for the Indians in 1977. His final career START was in 1987 … after which he became a full time closer. He notched 390 career saves. His 51 saves and 1.91 ERA in 1992 earned him the Cy Young and MVP Awards. Yep, I threw some red herrings into this one 🙂

3) Joe Dimaggio hit in 56 straight games, but he is dead. Hit King Pete Rose had a 44 game hitting streak and is still alive – but isn’t a Hall of Famer. This makes Paul Molitor’s 39 game streak in 1987 the longest of any living Hall of Famer.

4) Ferguson Jenkins and Robin Yount were each chosen for three All Star Games. Interestingly, Yount was snubbed in his 1989 MVP season. When Bert Blyleven is inducted next month, he’ll set the bar even lower – he made only two All-Star teams.

5) Those home runs were the final three homers of Babe Ruth’s career. After playing for the Red Sox and most famously the Yankees, he was lured to the Boston Braves with the possibility of eventually becoming the team’s manager.

6) Six super balls flew out of the bat. Nettles said the bat was a gift from a Yankees fan in Chicago. Whether Nettles or the fan doctored the bat, you have to give them bonus points for creativity.

7) Hoyt Wilhelm didn’t start his career until he was just shy of his 30th birthday. When he retired 20 years later, he had appeared in 1070 games (most as a reliever) and racked up 227 saves. The home run he hit on April 23, 1952, was the only dinger of his career.

8 ) Grimsley, then playing for the Cleveland Indians, climbed through the air ducts to retrieve a bat from the umpires’ room. The bat was seized from Indians slugger Albert Belle under suspicion of being corked.

9) Lynn’s homer in the 1983 All Star Game was the first – and only – grand slam in All Star Game history.

OK – how well did you do?

I’m several months behind in my review of The Show since it came out back in March, but I just recently started playing it. All I can say is….WOW. It is, in my opinion, by far the best baseball game on the market. Each year it seems to improve and you think to yourself “it can’t get any better”, but then the next year it does!

I’ve only played the Road to the Show (RTTS) option in this year’s game, and the improvements made are fantastic. RTTS is an option in the game where you create yourself at any position, and then you can choose to enter the draft or pick the team you’d like to be on. To keep it as real as possible, I entered the draft. I was a LITTLE disappointed because there really wasn’t much to it, the game simply tells you which team drafted you and you’re assigned to that team’s AA ball club. In the very beginning, you do receive a “bank” of attribute points to which you can assign to a wide variety of areas – stamina/durability, pitching cluth, HR/9, K/9, BB/9, and for each pitch type you select, you can assign points to velocity, control, and movement.

I created myself as a closing pitcher, so I chose to focus more on the velocity of my pitches and pitching clutch. My fastball at the very beginning came in around the 90-92 range, and is now up to 96-97 regularly, with good control. How do you earn points during your season? That’s the best improvement to this year’s RTTS, or at least I think so. In years past, you would have a goal for each at-bat or for each batter you faced as a pitcher. The flaw was if your goal was to force a ground out, and the batter flied out, it was considered a “fail”, when really an out is an out.

In the 2011 version, player progression has taken on a whole new level. Rather than the all-or-nothing type points last year, you don’t have a specific goal for each batter you face. If you force a ground out, double play, fly ball, or even a strikeout, you get points (ranging anywhere from 0 to the low-20’s). Strike somebody out on 3 pitches, and you’re rewarded with a “great batter” which earns you 20-something points. Give up a single on 1 pitch, or a home run, and you’ll most likely lose a point. Which, I’m ok with, since I’m being rewarded more fairly on other aspects.

During the season, you also have various training sessions, which range from pitching simulated games to hitting targets that are in the strike zone. Achieve those goals, and you get “free” training on the different attributes of your pitcher. I’m still in season one of my RTTS pitcher, but I’ve earned the closing spot in the bullpen, and currently have 10 consecutive saves. With only a AA club and a AAA club, it shouldn’t take a whole lot of time to get a call-up.

Next week, in part 2 of my review, I’ll focus more on the specific attributes…but in the meantime, anybody else have suggestions on how to make your player better? Or any differing opinions on the gameplay itself?

Last month, Delta airlines got a lot of heat for charging service men and women for their fourth checked bag when they are flying home. They had already waived the fee for the first three bags, but their system and policy was that a fourth bag was $200. Delta quickly changed that policy and went further to waive the baggage fees for family members traveling with service men and women. This decision was made to recover from the bad publicity that surrounded the initial exposure of these fees via a YouTube video made by some service men as they were flying home on board a Delta flight.

So far, everything in this story is just fine. An airline had a policy to charge for baggage as is allowed via free commerce. Some service men complained about the fees, exercising their rights of free speech. The general public and the news media supported the service men, exercising their rights of free speech and freedom of the press. Delta dropped the fees to avoid loss of customers, again exercising free commerce.

Last week, Representative Jeff Denham (R-CA) introduced a resolution in the United States Congress to stop the fees. To quote Fox News who paraphrased the representative “those commercial airlines that refuse to do so could have their contracts reevaluated”. The resolution calls for “all airlines to provide military personnel with priority boarding, waivers of all baggage fees and priority seat preference when available”. I find this appalling. The federal government is trying to establish what fees a company can charge for services by fiat rather than negotiations and basically get something for free.

The United States military has plenty of airplanes and other vehicles to use to get our service men and women deployed and returned to their homes. The choice has been made to use commercial airlines. This is a good choice, but comes with responsibilities that the military has failed to fulfill. The United States Military has an obligation to negotiate fares and fees with the airlines for the services rendered. They (the United States Military) have the obligation to get our service people home, not the airlines. If the fares and fees have not been negotiated, it is unacceptable (to me) for the government to then strong arm and entire industry into un-compensated service.

I agree that our service men and women should not be paying these fees. I also do not think that these fees should be paid for by the airlines and therefore their non-military customers. The government has sent these men and women into a deployment, they should get them home. The government is more than willing to shell out millions of dollars to a fake Taliban representative, but skimps on the baggage fees of our military personnel.

If we take this situation to the extreme, why not pass a resolution that states that airlines must provide free seats to military returning or deploying. Now when they get to their destination, the taxis should provide free rides to their houses. And why not throw in free meals along the way. It is one thing when companies choose to give benefits to military families as part of their image building, it is quite another when they are forced to provide by government command.

I should be getting back to writing new short stories in a few weeks, but until then, I’ll share this re-run with you.  It originally ran on January 1, 2010.

Jay Maxwell grabbed a cloth and polished the exterior of the machine. It wasn’t really necessary for the machine to shine, but Jay took great pride in his invention. Indeed, why shouldn’t he take great pride in it? He had devoted three decades of his life to his work.

Over the years, Jay had spent a fortune on his invention. He had inherited enough money from his grandmother’s estate to live a life of quiet comfort. However, Jay was not content to simply sit on the sidelines sipping margaritas while life merely passes. He plowed the money into his academic endeavors. Over the years, he had been forced to move from his grandmother’s stately mansion to a townhouse, and then finally to a one bedroom apartment in a run down part of town.

Never for a moment did Jay regret his decision. He had poured his money and his life’s work into one thing – finding a way to travel through time. After battling endless technical obstacles, he believed that he had finally developed a machine capable of slinging him to the far reaches of the space-time continuum.

It was the moment of truth. The JayMax model 16A was ready for its first passenger. Jay looked around his lab, stopping to remember the found memories of his work. He bid a fond farewell and jumped into the JayMax. Jay decided to let fate be his guide. He turned the dial to “random” and hit the “Go” button.

Jay felt a mild cause of nausea as he felt his essence be transported to a different time and place. Eight months ago, Jay had determined that while it may not be feasible to transport an entire physical being, it was definitely possible to transport someone’s essence – what some might call the spirit – and embed it into a person from another time.

Jay felt a sudden jolt as his spirit stopped moving and was thrown rather roughly into his new host. His entire body tingled with the excitement of the moment. Jay took a moment to take in his surroundings. He could not believe his luck. He was in the Roman Coliseum. Jay felt great sympathy for those who had only been able to view the ruins. The structure was astonishing in the light of the mid-day sun.

There was a great crowd on hand, and they were standing and roaring their approval. An instant later, Jay realized that he was in the middle of the Coliseum. This wonderful crowd was roaring for him! It seemed that he was a contestant in a gladiator contest. What wonderful luck for him.

Then Jay heard a roar what was unlike the roar emanating from the crowd. This was a roar that was the roar of a great beast. It dawned on Jay that this was also the place where the Christians were fed to the lions. Jay realized that his decades of work spent in search of a solution for time travel would be for naught, as he would soon be in the belly of a lion.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, Jay caught sight of another man. Were two of them being fed to the lions at once? Then he suddenly felt a strange sensation coming from the area near his buttocks. It almost felt as if he had a tail.

In that instant, everything came into focus. It was then that Jay realized that he hadn’t had a decent meal in several days.

This week, we welcome Princess Kate to the staff as the resident art expert.  I am subject of her realm – on more than one occasion, I have dropped to my knees awaiting her command.  (OK, maybe I was actually just running cables to her computer).  Without futher ado, Princess Kate …

As a child of the eighties who spent a sizable amount of my formative years watching television with my grandmother, I have vivid memories of Bob Ross’s PBS program The Joy of Painting. It must be said that my grandmother only got three channels on her 1970s-era set, so it was either Bob Ross or local news. However, I was always quickly entranced by the dulcet tones of the “happy trees” artist (his rockin’ white-man ‘fro was mesmerizing in its own way). Not an artist myself, his natural way with brush and paint was impressive, and the resulting paintings, to my five-year old eyes, were masterworks.

Twenty-odd years later, I gained both a BA and MA in art history, traveled to Italy, France, Germany, and Turkey during the course of my research, and saw many of what are considered to be the greatest artworks in the world. In the course of all the newly-acquired “high art” knowledge, I forgot all about dear Bob Ross and his “happy trees” until a friend jokingly asked about the topic of my MA thesis. “Bob Ross, right? The ‘happy clouds’ guy?” Although my first response was derisive laughter, his sass-pot suggestion did get me thinking about where artists like Bob Ross fell in the accepted artistic canon.

Anyone with even a passing interest in the art world knows that Bob Ross paintings aren’t considered “high art,” or even “art.” They don’t hang next to Renoir’s in world-renown museums and don’t come up for auction at Christie’s for record-setting amounts. Bob Ross himself once said:

I’ve never claimed that this is investment art. When we first started out, all the art colleges and universities across the country would sort of badmouth what we were doing.

And so it begins.